XBobBoox Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Hey everyone, I have a feeling I have typical story here but it sure does suck when it happens to you I've realized. I'm sorry this is so long, but please take the time to read it. so i guess I'll start by saying me and my ex started dating around may of 2008 everything went well for about 6 -7 months until eventually he seemed to have gotten bored and told me he just was not ready for a relationship. (he told me this on the phone no less.) For the next 5 months or so we talked only a few times and each time being very brief. All this time I was still very hurt over the whole thing, afterall he was my first boyfriend and it was my first time dealing with it. Fast forward to about April of this year, he starts talking to me more frequently and apologizes for everything. By May, he was telling me how he was still in love with me. And finally by June, we were back together. (stupid decision on my part i later found out) Things were okay, he told me how he would never hurt me again, promised actually. He said he had missed me a lot. I was still always worried though but I was just happy to have him in my life again. Yet, by the end of the July, I could tell something was wrong. He was getting more distant and uninterested in me yet again. He actually had gotten a new job and was meeting a lot of new people and making plenty of new friends. I know that had something to do with it, so I'm pretty sure he had put me aside realizing he didn't need me as much as he originally thought. He also never failed at making me feel like I just wasn't good enough, he told me I was boring and that I needed to make more friends. I would ask him if he wanted to hang out , his response "I don't care." By the beginning of August, we had a big talk. (this time in person, yay ) He gave me the old "I don't deserve you, you can get someone better than me" He also told me how he would wait to get into another relationship because it was quite obvious he plain old sucked at them and that we would still hang out but for now we were on a break of sorts. Now this is important. I had asked him on numerous occasions "do you like anyone else?" his response, "no I don't." SO, the old facebook status went to "it's complicated" (yes, we all know that doesn't stay for long ) I went to Aruba and while I was there he changed it to 'single' without consulting me or anything. I blew up on him. We didn't talk for a week. Eventually he said he was sorry for everything yet again. So we talked for a bit and still said we should hang out...and he said I quote "I'm not making a move on any other girls though." I said good, you better not...for their sake. well guess what. a Week after that he is in a relationship with some girl I think he met at work. I think he's only known her for a month or less. And I cannot. stop. crying. It's so extremely messed up how I still give a crap. I read this over and I absolutely KNOW this boy is an idiot. So why the heck can I not let him go? It hurts me so much to know also that I could not keep him happy, but I guess this girl can. (He even rubbed it in my face by saying how happy he was when we talked, at the time I didn't know why) I tried so hard, I gave him a second chance and everything. I'm almost tempted to send her something to warn her about him. And the fact that he constantly let me down and made me feel like I just was not worth it when in reality he is not worth it. And I know this. yet I can't help but feel so hurt and used. How can someone even do that to another person and twice no less? And why the HELL did he still want to talk to me and hang out after he knew what he was doing all along? And why am I letting this hurt me so much? please i need to know if perhaps maybe I did something(besides taking him back, I know that was a BIG mistake on my part)...or just any words of wisdom. thank you so much.
EricaH329 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 You did nothing!!!! Let's get that out of the way first. I, too, made the mistake of taking my ex back on his promise that he wouldn't leave me again. Ha. What a fool I am for believing that lie!! But now, more than ever, I am empowered. There isn't a day that goes by that I think I did something wrong. I did everything I could, and that's all that can be expected. Sorry if it wasn't enough for him... but it'll be enough for the next lucky guy that comes along!! All this hurt and pain you are going through is completely normal. The doubts about yourself are, unfortunatly, also normal. But you need to get past that. There's nothing you could have done differently to make this a$$ be any different towards you. This is his problem, not yours! He was right about one thing though, he doesn't deserve you. Not at your worst, or at your best. I've been so pumped full of empowerment lately that I can't help but reiterate the fact that I think a person should figure out what makes them happy before they try and be happy with someone else. This douche shouldn't mean more to you than the gum on the bottom of your shoe. He made the mistake. Let him do whatever he likes, because guess what? You don't care! He's not your problem anymore!! The only thing you have to worry about now, is yourself!! What have you learned from this? What can you do to use this information in future relationships? After figuring that out, start focusing on yourself.
GrayClouds Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Say away from facebook and go No Contact. Read: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance?
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