My first grader, not listening in school...

[life101]

:(Well I have a question....My son is in first grade and everyday comes home with a red dot...occasionally one green dot here and there. I try to take something away when he is bad at school and its not working, he doesnt care....I dont know what to do....

[Kamille]

In grade one, "not listening" can pertain to so many things. From not staying seated to not paying attention to what the teacher is saying to not following orders. Do you know which specific actions your child is doing to warrant the stickers? Have you gotten in touch with the teacher? He or she might be able to suggest a few strategies and help you understand why your child is having a hard time listening in school.

[New Again]

I agree with Kamille. Without more information, it's hard to give advice. I think your first step should be to talk to his teacher to figure out exactly what type of behavior is causing him to bring home these red stickers.

 

And just to add to what Kamille said, at that age while it's a behavior that your child is exhibiting, it may not be a behavioral issue (his behavior could be due to hearing impairment, etc.).

[silverfish]

I had the 'not listening' issue with both my boys and it does seem to be a boy 'thing'! First thing is to get his hearing tested.

 

He's not going to have much motivation to listen either if he keeps getting red dots. My youngest had a major not listening or caring problem which has improved a lot in the last year (he's 9 now). How does your son sleep & eat at the moment?

 

This is what I did -

 

Regularly go & see his teacher and start a home / school diary to communicate his progress. It also helps to make observations on what he does concentrate on.

 

Make sure he drinks plenty of water throughout the school day - ask if he can have a bottle on his desk.

 

Make sure he is down the front and not near any trouble makers

 

Try and reward him for positive things like helping at home and putting things away, and build it up to rewards / stars for school work.

 

Talk to the teacher about using a similar system at school. If she can get him to help her by handing out pencils or something he will be more motivated to please her. My son had a 'stress ball' to play with too because he's a terrible fidget.

 

If it's any consolation, it's something he'll probably grow out of, and from what I can tell, trying to get kids that small to sit down and listen for long amounts of time is almost impossible. Its amazing how they can hear the word 'sweets' from 5 miles away tho

[life101]

In grade one, "not listening" can pertain to so many things. From not staying seated to not paying attention to what the teacher is saying to not following orders. Do you know which specific actions your child is doing to warrant the stickers? Have you gotten in touch with the teacher? He or she might be able to suggest a few strategies and help you understand why your child is having a hard time listening in school.

 

 

Well he is not paying attention and is not listening like he should to his teachers I have talked to her and I talk to him about what is going on and the next day he gets a green dot then the day after that it is back to the same red dot...I do try taking a toy away or not letting him playhis game system for a day he just really dosent care...

[life101]

I had the 'not listening' issue with both my boys and it does seem to be a boy 'thing'! First thing is to get his hearing tested.

 

He's not going to have much motivation to listen either if he keeps getting red dots. My youngest had a major not listening or caring problem which has improved a lot in the last year (he's 9 now). How does your son sleep & eat at the moment?

 

This is what I did -

 

Regularly go & see his teacher and start a home / school diary to communicate his progress. It also helps to make observations on what he does concentrate on.

 

Make sure he drinks plenty of water throughout the school day - ask if he can have a bottle on his desk.

 

Make sure he is down the front and not near any trouble makers

 

Try and reward him for positive things like helping at home and putting things away, and build it up to rewards / stars for school work.

 

Talk to the teacher about using a similar system at school. If she can get him to help her by handing out pencils or something he will be more motivated to please her. My son had a 'stress ball' to play with too because he's a terrible fidget.

 

If it's any consolation, it's something he'll probably grow out of, and from what I can tell, trying to get kids that small to sit down and listen for long amounts of time is almost impossible. Its amazing how they can hear the word 'sweets' from 5 miles away tho

 

 

 

He has had his hearing tested. So his hearing is fine! His sleeping has not been the best latey he stays up very late I put my children to bed at 8 30 and he will not sleep until prob 11 pm or so and says that he is hungry at all times of the night so I do give him a snack and I wake him up in the morning around 6 or so because he has school at 8. Thank you for responding!

[deux ex machina]

Could it be there is something bothering the little guy?

 

Sometimes little ones, particularly boys, have such a difficult time telling you how they feel. They can get overwhelmed.

 

An idea: play with him. Legos, puzzles, something quiet.

 

Don't say, "We need to talk." Bad idea!

 

While he is relaxed, not being put through what he may perceive as the third degree -- you may be surprised by what he reveals to you.

[silverfish]

7 hours sleep is nowhere near enough - he needs more like 11/12 hrs really. If he's finding it hard to sleep then maybe tell his teacher that's the reason (lay off the red dots lady!).

 

Try and get him physically tired after school between 3pm and 5pm, dinner between 5 & 6, then quiet time, bath, bed & story. It might take a while to get into the routine, but it works!

 

A lot of kids starting school have messed up routines from being at home and younger brothers / sisters. It's a common problem and school will understand.

 

He shouldn't be hungry so late - is he eating ok? Does he get a lot of excersize? If he's not eating at dinner try a bigger breakfast / lunch, with something lighter later on. It'll be harder before it gets easier, but kids that age actually like routine and he'll do a lot better for more sleep.

[life101]

Could it be there is something bothering the little guy?

 

Sometimes little ones, particularly boys, have such a difficult time telling you how they feel. They can get overwhelmed.

 

An idea: play with him. Legos, puzzles, something quiet.

 

Don't say, "We need to talk." Bad idea!

 

While he is relaxed, not being put through what he may perceive as the third degree -- you may be surprised by what he reveals to you.

That is a good idea thank you!

[life101]

7 hours sleep is nowhere near enough - he needs more like 11/12 hrs really. If he's finding it hard to sleep then maybe tell his teacher that's the reason (lay off the red dots lady!).

 

Try and get him physically tired after school between 3pm and 5pm, dinner between 5 & 6, then quiet time, bath, bed & story. It might take a while to get into the routine, but it works!

 

A lot of kids starting school have messed up routines from being at home and younger brothers / sisters. It's a common problem and school will understand.

 

He shouldn't be hungry so late - is he eating ok? Does he get a lot of excersize? If he's not eating at dinner try a bigger breakfast / lunch, with something lighter later on. It'll be harder before it gets easier, but kids that age actually like routine and he'll do a lot better for more sleep.

I do need to get him on a better routine, and he is always hungry. He eats good I just figured cause he is growing as in why he is always hungry . We do bike ride together alot, he is very active.I just really want him to enjoy school, it is so important! So I will work on a better routine and will see how it goes! Thank you very much for responding!! It has been very helpful..

[2sure]

Had this problem with my daughter the first 2 years of school. Finally - When she came home with a "red dot" the teacher would give me copies of or write a note of the things they learned in class that day. After dinner, we had two hours of homework going over everything. No playtime, no TV.

 

This was hard, but kind of my last resort, and she did need the skills her behavior was distracting her from during the school day. So, thats what we did. At the same time, I would tell her: If you were paying attention in school we wouldn't have to do this. We could be playing or making cookies. She got it.

 

She is in 8th grade now and taking high school level honors courses. And its because she works hard and pays attention in class.

[Tayla]

Is this his first experience to adjusting to the long day and rules of this teacher.

 

No matter, its an adjustment for kids returning to such a system. As a parent we just assume they can adjust on a dime. My son (who was an accelerated student academically had a terrible time adjusting to the regime of the teacher). He was put into an alternative program within a week and that teachers system clicked for him! It sometimes isnt the child , sometimes its the environment and change in how the teacher handles the students. I have the utmost regard for teachers overall, that is ALOT of responsiblity, and I am not saying that ALL teachers carry the same dynamics in how they expect the students to behave. Just sometimes the child simply doesnt click to the environment or teachers ways....

 

I would often be reminded by my then spouse: how did you feel the first few weeks at your new job? Did you not feel like the new kid on the block? Did you not sense you were lost sometimes and didnt know all the rules yet were EXPECTED TOO? From that I learned to be careful with how I handled my sons in their experiences. I didnt coddle them but I surely learned how to encourage and support them instead of assuming they were exhibiting poor behavior.

 

Ask your son what his perception is , then listen. There can be a fair and reasonable explanation that just needs to come to the surface. once known you can parent and guide him in the right direction. Kids like to know there parents are reliable

[Meaplus3]

:(Well I have a question....My son is in first grade and everyday comes home with a red dot...occasionally one green dot here and there. I try to take something away when he is bad at school and its not working, he doesnt care....I dont know what to do....

 

The best way to handle this is to get in touch with the teacher and ask her why he's on red. I am very familar with these behavior dot's and charts as our schools use them as well. So, do talk with the teacher and get some answers. Try not to worry.. and good luck.

 

Mea:)

[laRubiaBonita]

i would say talk with his teacher, see what other info you can get- like is it a specific subject, is he chit cahtting with friends....

 

maybe the teacher can give you a lesson plan for the week and then when your son gets home you can kinda "quiz" him about what he learned in school.

he may think you are omnipotent because you know what is going on in his class- but he may be more apt to listen if he knows you will be asking him about what he was supposed to learn that day.