Radically_Altered Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 It's been more than 2 weeks since I enforced NC... Oddly enough it's not been difficult for me at all - I've not wanted to break it because it's stuck in my mind that if I try to contact him he won't answer the phone, or reply to text messages, or emails etc because it's me trying to contact him and that would be more heartbreaking for me than actually getting through... So I actually feel better (or safer?) that I'm doing the NC thing. He did send me a single text message 2 days ago which simply said "How are you"? To which I simply replied "Very good thanks. Have been getting ready to move house so been busy. Hope you're doing well". No reply so far... But I'm STILL not tempted to break NC... Is this normal or am I just weird. Oh BTW I still think NC kicks a***
Raphownsyou Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 If you are happy from it then its a good way for you! I think as long as you're doing it for yourself and being honest to yourself life will always lead you to happiness, Keep up the positivity!
Author Radically_Altered Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks Raph... I'm not sure that I'm doing it out of being positive... rather, I'm doing it out of fear :S I don't know that that's such a good thing, but I suppose it could be if we put a positive spin on it
Raphownsyou Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Well, follow your heart but i think you're doing the right thing from where im standing, I know for me i havent been able to cope with NC because i always get tempted to text and then i just feel drained and a bit like i have given in, And it can get you into a cycle! I mean, i know for me i just want him to contact me without me even having to text him, so you kind of convince yourself if you text him then he will know you care, but i dont think thats how it works, Did any of that make sense? haha!
Author Radically_Altered Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Yeah, that makes sense!! But because I think so much that he's going to get really annoyed if I contact him in any way, I just stay away. It would be so much more painful for me if I kept texting, emailing or leaving voice mail with no reply. I'd rather avoid that possibility altogether. He *did* text me without any prompting from me, but it was just the one time so I'm not sure that it really counts. I'm sticking to my guns. I feel safer this way. I hope you're feeling stronger every day and finding it easier to resist the urge to break NC. Trust me its a really good feeling when you don't make contact
Raphownsyou Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Do you think no communication works if you dont like vocalize that you want no communication? I dont want him to resent me, or to end it with bad thoughts, But i have tried NC with him so many times that he just cant take me seriously about it i reckon, What you think?
Author Radically_Altered Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 To be completely honest, this is the first time I've EVER tried NC. I've never wanted to get back together with any of my other exes. I guess I feel this one is different because nothing horrible really happened and it just needs time for the dust to settle before the situation goes one way or the other. My belief is that if you're going to do NC you HAVE to stick to it no matter what. Others on this forum may disagree, but it's the only way you'll know if your ex still wants to speak with you or not. If you hear from them, they may want to talk... if not then you know that it's time for you to move on. I've read on this forum many times that NC is actually meant to be time for you to heal, and if your ex contacts you its a bonus. I didn't like hearing that initially, but even though it hurts to know the truth I can't help but realise its importance. I don't know if I answered your question properly but this is just what I think. I hope it helps you in some way... Or can someone else please give us their point of view? Do you think no communication works if you dont like vocalize that you want no communication? I dont want him to resent me, or to end it with bad thoughts, But i have tried NC with him so many times that he just cant take me seriously about it i reckon, What you think?
Beeotch Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 It's been more than 2 weeks since I enforced NC... Oddly enough it's not been difficult for me at all - I've not wanted to break it because it's stuck in my mind that if I try to contact him he won't answer the phone, or reply to text messages, or emails etc because it's me trying to contact him and that would be more heartbreaking for me than actually getting through... So I actually feel better (or safer?) that I'm doing the NC thing. He did send me a single text message 2 days ago which simply said "How are you"? To which I simply replied "Very good thanks. Have been getting ready to move house so been busy. Hope you're doing well". No reply so far... But I'm STILL not tempted to break NC... Is this normal or am I just weird. Oh BTW I still think NC kicks a*** Not weird at all.... Imagining the possibility that my ex is going to not reply to my text/email and have me anxious and waiting, not answer the phone and have me wait to see if he will call back, or he does reply but says something that pisses me off is reason enough to stop me in my tracks when I used to think of contacting him most times. I am in control when I don't initiate things with him....but once I initiate a msg/call whatever....I open myself up to the unknown so yes it was easy for me not contact him.. As well as not look at his social sites. I have slipped in the past with that but generally the thought of what I might find stopped me before I did it.
wondering_girl Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 does NC sometimes mean like a silent break-up too? the last time we talked we were supposed to talk about things but all he said was he's not ready to talk and maybe 3 words the whole time... i've treated it as it's over and he has not contacted me since.... it's so hard to let go but i guess i have to. i just want him to say something... i told him i wanted to work on it but i can't work on it by myself.. and we dated for 4 years....petty argument and resulted into this now... it's been almost a month since the argument, couple of days after the talk that i just talked by myself...
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