Raphownsyou Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Hey guys, Long story short, was dating a guy for 6 months but we were best friends before that for about a year since i moved to London. We have been through a lot, LOTS of love there but circumstance had led to us fighting as we lived together as well, he is my soulmate i feel. Well recently we had tried sort of just dating, as he couldn't maintain a commitment based on how he felt i treated him at times, but that didn't work for me as i am quite insecure about the possibility of him sleeping with other people thinking that would be okay, We are both hurting right now, but for me, its nearly too much. i have never been this low in my life, Problem is i still am in love with him, and really want him to want to be more than friends with me, but obviously would never want to force that because that isn't real love, so yeah he implies that he still has hope and is positive, but i feel like maybe i am holding onto something...? I have extreme ups and downs right now, mostly downs though as i cant remember the last time i was really happy, He is traveling Europe right now for last couple of days for 2 more weeks, Also, before he left we had sex, it was amazing for me, felt like we were making love, but afterwards he said "oh hope this doesn't make it weird now", what do you guys think of that? I can see myself with him in the future, i am in love with him, i just worry myself when i think of him with someone else and MAYBE i am just fooling myself into thinking he still loves me, i am nervous he will meet someone else whilst i am still thinking him and i could work.. How can i help myself move on? i cant even imagine someone else right now.. Truth is i love him so it is hard to just accept being friends with him. I think maybe i should go no communication with him, but then i feel like i would be giving up on us! and when i tell him i cant talk to him anymore he goes "oh okay if thats what YOU want to do" in a bit of an annoyed voice, He says we can't be in a relationship right now and have to try just being friends, but something in me keeps me thinking we will be back together, how can i just move on and accept he wants to be friends? i feel like i have no control. I just want to be happy again, i feel hopeless. Any advice? I am totally lost.
Maoky Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 try "just" being friends? It's obviously hurting you. Stay away for a while; maybe have a talk to him about where you two are headed, but otherwise, don't ponder on it too long. I just don't think a platonic friendship works in these kinds of situations.
Author Raphownsyou Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks Moaky, Yeah i know i wont be happy in that way with him, at least for now. What ****ed me up was having sex because it really felt like making love to me, and like subconsciously i kind of told myself it meant something to him too. Does no communication work if you dont like say "i dont want to speak to you right now, blah blah blah"? Because right now i have spilled my heart to him and he knows i love him, so i feel like in his mind hes like "oh its fine, he loves me so i can go on with my life" What you reckon?
Maoky Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Telling someone you're going on NC against them lets them know what's going on in your mind, and as much as it sucks, you need to keep your privacy from him at the moment, especially since you've poured your heart out to him already. It's basically saying, I'm not over you yet, go on with your life whilst I'm going through misery. It's just adding a slight dose of guilt, and a large dose of ego to him. Go with NC and don't tell him Know what's best for YOU at the moment. Plus, might keep him guessing at why you've cut him out so abruptly
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