ace2666 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 My GF for 3yrs and 8 mths broke up with me last week, she doesn't love me anymore. I immediately enforced NC, and haven't contacted her since. I don't feel anger or depression, just pain. Since then I've been trying to focus on myself, work and friends, but something very bad is happenning. I now sleep only a couple of hours every night and have some problems eating. I can fall asleep, but then I wake up a few hours later and can't fall asleep again. My hunger is all over the place. I'm starving, get something to eat and a few bites in, I'm full. I feel like there's something I'm not dealling with here that is bringing these effects on. I'm not sure what it is. I'm having no problems keepping up NC, but these physical affects are starting to worry me. What is going on with me?
Exit Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Pretty normal affects if you ask me. Exercise could help with your appetite and sleep pattern, plus get you feeling good about yourself again.
Notsogood Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I didn't go NC during the first 2 months of my breakup and I went through what you are going through now - I lost 13 kilos in about 2 months. Never felt hungry at all, and got full on just a couple of bites. I also sufferred from insomnia and took abit of time of work to deal with it. I got through this phase through a large consumption of alcohol - I'm not recommending it as many will tell you this is not the way to go, but for me it helped me get my life back to some sort of stability. I still suffer from insomnia now - I haven't had a 'nourishing' nights sleep since even when I'm drunk, but I don't rely on alcohol as much these days. Best of luck, I feel for you., really do.
EricaH329 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I know exactly what you are going through. I am having the same problems, although they are getting better now. What you are going through is typically normal after something like this happens. Unfortunatly, there isn't much you can do about it until you finally accept that it's over and move on. Once the relief of not having the worry on your shoulders occurs, you should get back to normal. That's how it was with me, anyway. I tried drinking myself to sleep, but everytime I would get drunk... it would make me feel a million times worse. So, personally, that didn't work. I just had to let time run it's course. Do you have problems with anxiety?? That's what my issue was. I have terrible anxiety. Made me not hungry, not be able to sleep or concentrate.
borbiusle Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I went through something similar for the first 2 weeks, I barely ate and even then I only ate one meal a day. Never really had sleeping problems, I usually tended to be exhausted from long hours at work. It'll pass.
mimiminx Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 This is totally normal. Yes, first 2 weeks were the hardest for me. I couldn't eat or sleep. I still can't eat or sleep normally and it's been 6 weeks for me. All I was able to do was walk around aimlessly around my neighborhood for that period of time. Eventually, i was able to get on my bike and RIDE around aimlessly around my neighborhood. All I could get down were smoothies. I have lost about 8 lbs since then. Eventually, it does lessen, slowly but it does. I am still at the point where I can't sleep.. terrible insomnia, then sleeping late because I work afternoons. For me, sleep has been my only comfort.. I couldn't sleep, then when I was, I didn't want to wake up to face the pain. I still wake up feeling nauseous. Alcohol does not help. I have been limiting myself to a glass or two of wine maybe once a week. I know if I drink I will get overly emotional, even more so than I have been so avoiding it is good. What helped and helps me get through the anxiety and pain is to take natural remedies for sleep, like melatonin and tea before bed. My crutch has been cigarettes. I've been a smoker but have been powering through cartons at a time, more than a pack a day... very bad but it helps me. As far as eating, when I do have an appetite, which still hasn't come back around, I try to eat healthy foods. I lived on fresh fruit smoothies and applesauce for the first few weeks, now I'm slowly graduating to normal foods again. I used to cook all the time but haven't used a pot or pan in 6 weeks. I have to say, NC or contact, the pain is still there! It will get better, slowly but surely. It has to!
gavinus Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 You have done the right thing! NC straight away is good, for goodness sake stick to NC! Focus on yourself and remember your feelings will cycle, they will not stay the same, don't break NC for anything, if you do feel the need to break NC just read all the horror stories of people who have including myself, stay to NC, be strong you can do it!!
Author ace2666 Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks guys. It's good to know that I don't have anything physically wrong with me, just heartbroken. I won't break NC, mostly because it'll hurt to much to talk to her. Unless she moves on or wants me back (not that I'm hoping for that), NC will stand. I'll try some more exercise and a better diet, something to get me exhausted and into to bed.
adamt Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I know what you are going through, i was there 3 months ago. first month hardly ate and couldnt focus on work ketp breaking down, took 2 months before my sleep got back to normal, took 3 months to stop breaking down randomly, nearly 4 months on i still miss my ex but starting to consider dating and joining some websites and getting nervous but also excited about meeting new women. it will get better but only over time. In the mean time dont contact the ex, get busy,take up lots of new hobbies,join a gym, get fit(help with self confidence),read books before going to sleep, get out of the house as much as possible, catch up with old friends,rebuild your social life.eat really healthy.treat it as if you have moved to a new town. the busier you get the less time you think about the ex. Focus on yourself. be selfish! You reach a point where you reralise you just have to move on. If she comes back then she will if you have moved on or not. But she will do it because she wants to. Aswell as helping you move on quicker, NC lets you clear your head and reflect on your relationship and see what went wrong. What you did wrong and what the ex did wrong. So then in your next relationship you dont make the same mistakes.
Notsogood Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I have gone through pretty much exact thing as you miniminx, except that drinking does seem to be the only time I am actually smiling for real, and not putting it on. Never used to smoke as much as well - I am just chain smoking every chance I get now, it seems to help in some strange way. Also walking aimlessly has helped me alot when i am especially down or getting the anxiety attacks - I think the feeling of just going somewhere soothes me. Wished this would all end so I can be myself again, whoever that is. I don't even know anymore.
revoo Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 For the first two weeks I ate a loaf of bread a day, and drank water, and sometimes a little cornflakes with milk, I ate because I knew I could get sick if I go with an empty stomach, I was hungry once every 3 or four days. As for the sleeping, its been almost 2 months I think, and I still have problems going to sleep, and like you, I wake up after a few hours, then fall a sleep again and so on. This is more exhausting then not sleeping at all, but I hope this will go away too. Be strong, work out, try to eat small amounts but 5-6 times a day, and take vitamines and such so you dont get sick.
wondering_girl Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 i am going through the same now, everyone is saying they noticed that i lost weight probably around 7 lbs, i can't eat, i can't sleep, but i just force myself to...... the food that i used to love i don't really crave them anymore, i guess particularly because we ate together.....? most of the time what hurts the most is the anxiety, i guess i'm anxious.. i don't know if you guys got a chance to read my post but i never really got closure from him, we dated for 4 years and last time i talked to him was a couple of days ago and all he said was he wasn't ready to talk after everything i told him that we need to work on it, i took that as, it's over.. simply dreaming that he'll come back hurts me more because a part of me think it's over.... i hope there's a button to make this all go away.... faster. do you guys dream about them too? cause i dream of him couple of times a week..... i HATE this.
NSW768 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 its been 2 weeks for me today. since the breakup (which was 2 weeks of bs before that) ive lost close to 10 pounds. pretty incredible. i feel the same way. im never hungry. unless starving. joined a gym this week but idk how much that has helped so far, as all i can really stand to do is just run till it hurts. as far as sleep goes i consistently wake up at around 5-630 am an stay up for an hour or so pining before falling back asleep. i try not to really i do. and is getting better. but i feel you on all of this buddy.
stillafool Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 My GF for 3yrs and 8 mths broke up with me last week, she doesn't love me anymore. I immediately enforced NC, and haven't contacted her since. I don't feel anger or depression, just pain. Since then I've been trying to focus on myself, work and friends, but something very bad is happenning. I now sleep only a couple of hours every night and have some problems eating. I can fall asleep, but then I wake up a few hours later and can't fall asleep again. My hunger is all over the place. I'm starving, get something to eat and a few bites in, I'm full. I feel like there's something I'm not dealling with here that is bringing these effects on. I'm not sure what it is. I'm having no problems keepping up NC, but these physical affects are starting to worry me. What is going on with me? No what you are experiencing is the pain of a breakup. It totally sucks! You can't eat, sleep or concentrate on anything but that person. You are doing all the right things. It just takes time. I wish you luck and it will get better.
jv032889 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Everyone's response is pretty much dead on. A month ago I couldn't stand the sight of food. All I want is a big steak from Outback now:cool:. Time will eventually heal the pain. It will become easier to go about your daily life. I still have problems falling asleep, but its worth it. I take that time to read or get my homework done.
adamt Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 its been 2 weeks for me today. since the breakup (which was 2 weeks of bs before that) ive lost close to 10 pounds. pretty incredible. i feel the same way. im never hungry. unless starving. joined a gym this week but idk how much that has helped so far, as all i can really stand to do is just run till it hurts. as far as sleep goes i consistently wake up at around 5-630 am an stay up for an hour or so pining before falling back asleep. i try not to really i do. and is getting better. but i feel you on all of this buddy. For 2 months i would not sleep until 1am and would wake up at about 5:30am. I towuld drive you mad. As soon as you wake up your brain in active or for a second you would forget your ex had gone then it would hit you. You feel it wi;l never go aweay but if you keep plugging away and keep yourself busy then after 3 months it will be a lot easier. The feelings are still there but at the back of your mind but you learn to cope and adapt. I can not recommend joining the gym enough. I am now hooked on it and go 4 times a week. It helps a lot if you stick at it!
Beeotch Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 My GF for 3yrs and 8 mths broke up with me last week, she doesn't love me anymore. I immediately enforced NC, and haven't contacted her since. I don't feel anger or depression, just pain. Since then I've been trying to focus on myself, work and friends, but something very bad is happenning. I now sleep only a couple of hours every night and have some problems eating. I can fall asleep, but then I wake up a few hours later and can't fall asleep again. My hunger is all over the place. I'm starving, get something to eat and a few bites in, I'm full. I feel like there's something I'm not dealling with here that is bringing these effects on. I'm not sure what it is. I'm having no problems keepping up NC, but these physical affects are starting to worry me. What is going on with me? Perhaps you need to get your feelings out about the situation.... Personally I would never establish no Contact without saying my piece first....I would not beg or plead or curse the person out...but I would send ONE email or have one convo, preferably an email getting out all my feelings about the situation THEN go NC. Perhaps you feel bad because you have pent up emotions that remain unexpressed. You should journal about it, email your ex or post it in the section about what you would say to your ex. Did you guys discuss what happened between you or did she just say "we're through" and you accepted it and walked away? We HAVE to come to terms with things and it is not unreasonable or irrational to expect your former partner to speak to you and clear the air about things...once that has happened then you should proceed to process it on your own and do NC. Which is a total different thing from emailing them over and over and stalking them or asking them more and more questions of why after they have already answered.
ladymistique Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 It's strange, when my ex and I broke up, I immediately starting sleeping better. Full eight hours, deep sleep and feeling rested. That was odd and made me think that the relationship was having an impact on my health. Or maybe it was relief that it was over and the worse had happened so I didn't feel as anxious. Who knows . As for the other symptoms, wandering aimlessly, not eating, inability to focus, not wanting to be alone, these things had hit me hard. I know that I am feeling better these days because now the thought of spending an evening at home by myself does not fill me with dread and actually is quite relaxing. Keep going, Ace, all those trite sayings are true (otherwise they wouldn't be trite . Time will do its thing,
BeSteady Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Pretty normal affects if you ask me. Exercise could help with your appetite and sleep pattern, plus get you feeling good about yourself again. ^What he said. Hard to believe but the NC is keeping the physical stuff from being worst. If you can eat a meal has 4-5 small health ones instead.
Ingenue Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I think all of the heartbroken tend to go through similar effects. When my break up occurred, I didn't eat for weeks, except for maybe a cup of yogurt every few days. I slept all the time and found myself lethargic, lost interest in all the things I once enjoyed and isolated myself as much as possible. If it wasn't for my friends and family insisting that I pull it together and start eating and start going out, I'd probably still be in my bed crying all the time. What you're experiencing is typical. How break ups affect our health varies person by person, but it undeniably does impact us.
luchalucha Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 wow!!! reading this i think i was hit the hardest. i have lost 25 puonds, sleep 4 hours , i can't focus on work or reading or music, but the good thing is that i have managed to keep the weight off with exercise it is awesome i am almost to the point of having great abs. i saw my ex yesterday to sign divorce papers after 6 weeks of no contact it was painful i hope i don't go back to day one, what was good about the the reunion was that at some point we were having a good time laughing and joking the conversation was good exept for her bringing issues about the relationship and some weird stuff she was saying like my boyfriend is nice but i still feel alone, winter is coming and i am going to feel empty, probably she wa trying to get me in the friend zone or i don't know, she also suggested me not to get in a relationship but she has one?!?!. i know we are not getting back so no contact starts again. one funny thing she does not want to give me her phone number because she thinks i am going to call her every ten seconds but you what i had her new number since she changed it, i did not tell her that bit i have it and never called. i don't go online to any of my myspace or facebook accounts but she checks mine al the time. i do not think i have a second chance or at least i don't want to think that because i am setting myself for failure. good luck to everybody we will feel better!!!!!
Wolf Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 I hope so. It's 4am here in my time. I still can't get to sleep. I've been laying in bed since 10:30. Everytime I start to fall to sleep, anger, or hurt, or tears, or sadness, or some other negative emotion creeps right back. Knowing I'm wide awake, and she's laying in some other man's bed, the man she chose over me... that's rough to take. It builds hate. And it's so hard to let it go. But I'm trying to let it go. I'm trying so hard.
WSeeker Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 I'm having problems with sleeping cause everytime i do i dream about her. She broke up with me about 1,5 months ago. I can,t even get some rest from it while i,m asleep cause of dreams.
Recommended Posts