nay91 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Ok. So I met this guy via Facebook, started talking to him and found out he lives really close to me. So one day he sends me a message that he is coming out to see me. So I said ok, see you soon. Then he comes a few hours later and we start kissing each other and I think you know what happens after that. Then once the night ended (4:30am) he sends me all these texts saying how much he misses me and all this stuff. So I have been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks now. We have came to an agreement that we are friends with benefits, which is new to me. For me its either I'm in a relationship or I'm not. So anyway, things were going great the first two weeks, we were seeing each other pretty regularly and really connecting with each other. Now he hasn't contacted me in any way shape or form this past week, but our last conversation he said he wanted to see me again. When I try to talk to him he always makes up some lame excuse like he's studying or he has to go to bed which I know is bs. I really do get mixed signals from this guy pretty regularly. So I guess what I'm wondering is do I try to communicate with him and see where we stand? or should I just move on to someone else?[/sIZE][/FONT]
Tayla Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 WElcome to the forum. I have no answer to your story. Stick around though and keep posting and listening. You might find your answer thru another post.
ReturnToSender Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Heya... Im not sure why you are confused about where you stand? Its been established that you are friends with benefits...That pretty much covers it. Hes not under any obligation to you and vice versa...that comes along with the territory. What sort of mixed signals is he sending you?
Trimmer Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Heya... Im not sure why you are confused about where you stand? Its been established that you are friends with benefits...That pretty much covers it. Hes not under any obligation to you and vice versa...that comes along with the territory. What sort of mixed signals is he sending you? I had the same thoughts and the same question... "Friends w/Benefits", all by itself without further qualification, usually means a pretty specific thing. Sex, when you both feel like it, without further commitment or obligation. Now if your "agreement" about being FWB had other layers to it - if you guys agreed to something different that he's not delivering on, then OK, but my question is the same as RTS': what kinds of mixed signals is he sending?
euroxx Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Friends with benefits arrangements usually NEVER last long term. Seems like your friend may have gotten saddled with other person (Not FWB, but most likely an actual relationship.) Think of them more as a one-to-two week stand more than anything. If he's dodging, you're best to just move on.
ReturnToSender Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I wouldnt say that eruoxxx...they can last as long as you take them for what they are. I think what ruins the whole thing is when one person starts getting feelings, or starts making unrealistic expectations. I was in 2 FWB relationships..one lasting about a year and a half, and when he started seeing someone our sexual relationship ended, I met my other FWB which lasted a year...and that ended when I met my bf. Im actually still friends (without the benfits) with both of them. What made it work then, and allows us to be friends now is we take it for what it is and respect each others boundaries. Also, with both, theres no possible way wed be romantic. Our lives are just waaaay too different and we want different things for ourselves...neither of us had an ulterior motive. I think that if someone gets involved in a FWB hoping it will one day progress to be more...they are setting themselves up for failure and already ruining what could be a good thing before its even started.
JoJola Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I have been dealing with the same type of issue......stop communicating with him...i know it is hard to do, but STOP! This will give you the answers you need...if he does not call move on my dear!
lord alfred douglas Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 ............................. wrongthread
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