Treasa Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Sorry, posted this in the Water Cooler section, and now trying here. It's a very weird question, but I ask because I have pretty much NO female friends. I'm a 34-year-old female, and my best friend is a guy. I have a boyfriend as well. But female friends have NEVER worked out for me and I don't know why. One friend I had lives across the country, otherwise she'd be one of my best friends. We haven't talked in a while. I had another female friend. I met her through her husband, which is also how I met my boyfriend. But the husband got really jealous of my relationship with my boyfriend, and he started to snub me. *sigh* She started to snub me, too, when they got pregnant and had a baby. What I don't get is that I went out of my way for them! I gave them money when they struggled, I threw them an awesome baby shower, I made a quilt for the baby, etc. When they had an accident and two of them were hurt I sent flowers. When they had the baby I visited them in the hospital but my boyfriend didn't, even though HE was their friend first.....but they treat HIM better than me! In college I was good friends with a girl who was the opposite of me - she was blonde, a cheerleader, popular, etc. And then another female friend, who I liked at the time, joined up, and eventually started telling my friend lies about me. Or maybe she misunderstood something. I don't know. But because they graduated a year before I did (we were all in the same major and took classes together), they basically left me behind and didn't even bother trying to be friends with me, even after they burned out and I basically did all our group projects myself. I think they knew I would, and they were so close to graduating that they knew they would anyway. I dunno... I tried to be friends with the girl who was dating my ex. My ex and I still hung out in a group, sort of, but she never wanted to even meet me. She was rude to me in email when I tried to be friends with her. I sent them a lovely wedding present when they married and only he wrote back. My boyfriend, who doesn't really like either one of them, got an invitation with "and guest" on it, but not my name. I don't GET IT! I go out of my way to be friends with people, and yet for some reason I don't have a single close female friend. All my friends are male, mostly because I take weapons classes (sword and Japanese weapons) and martial arts, and the ratio in our school, and especially in weapons, is more heavily skewed toward guys. I'm 34 and don't have kids, and no female friends, and now I'm feeling really bad about it. I feel like Paul Rudd in "I Love You, Man". Do I have to start going out on "dates" to find a female friend or something?? I'm a very nice girl. Yes, I'm not typical of a girl in any way, but I'm very warm and giving. Animals and kids love me and gravitate toward me, so I don't think I have any serious character flaws or anything. Anyone?
Neutrino Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Hi Treasa, "I love you , man" is a good one LOL I watched it last week... I hear you. I share some of what you describe, especially I live in an environment where the vast majority of the women are SAHM or have small PT jobs, their major hobbies are watching soaps and talking about their kids and some over-priced clothes they bought, I have nothing in common with them. I have some male friends and 2-3 female friends, I don't see any of them that often and my own biggest road-block is that I don't like talking on the phone.... Honest ? Why do you care what gender your friends are ? Isn't it the friendship that counts ? If you meet someone you can hang out with, and you share hobbies, interests, life philosophy - what difference does it make if it is male or female ? If you really want female friends - my best experience was with those who had a similar life style to my own.... Often they also share the same issues with lack of female friends.....
Rebellious Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 Well, I'm a guy and I have difficulty keeping female friends too. As soon as they realize that I'm not interested in dating them, they disappear. Also, some of your friends seem to have been rude and antisocial. I've had similar experiences since moving to the US, you can always move to a more civilized country.
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