Why does she not show affection or love to me?

[tg0623]

I had posted the other day but i do not think it made much sense i tried to delete the post and try again but do not see how to delete a thread you created.

 

I really do not understand my wife right now. I am trying not to annoy her but that is all i seem to do. I try to talk to her about us and she just doesnt seem to want to talk about us. Maybe in her mind everything is fine but in my mind i kinda feel like i do not know where i stand maybe?

I just stopped drinking and it has been 15 days today, i am also seeing a psychologist who specializes in alcoholism and my anti personality disorder that i just found out i have. This is a big step for because i drank alot and for at least the last 6 years. i just stopped cold turkey and made my wife happy. I did not see how clouded my head was from the drinking. I had become a mad drunk A***hole and was not the same guy she married/fell in love with. i understand this now because i have been sober now, also my attitude, temper, thinking has greatly changed. trust me i was a total a**hole to her and i still cannot believe she stayed with me.

So basically this is my last chance with her because in the past all i did was promise to stop drinking and my promises are not enough anymore. So i went and got help and i am glad i did, before i had to big an ego to go because i thought i did not need help but boy did i.

Now i know it will take time for the wife to see that i mean this and will stick to it, i do not blame her we been through that quite a few times. but what i do not understand is how she treats me....

She is not affecionate, caring, sexual, or communicates with me. We never cuddle, sit by each other on the couch, no good morning, no good night, no kisses, no hugs, no i love you, nothing. I do not know why.....

She will give me a kiss if i ask or try to give her one. She will talk to me but if i ask about us i get nothing. She never just gives me a hug for no reason if i open my arms she will hug me but does not put arms around me and if she does there is no squeeze. there is some sex but hardly. If i do not say i love you she wont say it sometimes she will but that is when getting off the phone which i think is almost second nature now to her.

Though a few weeks ago we went to cancun for a week and it was like we started dating all over again lots of sex, holding hands, kisses.... We get back from cancun and things we going good she would text me i love you, miss you, thinking of you. I would send her e-cards and text her as well. she even started to call me at work saying you have not called me all day. we even started to have more sex. but then i got drunk one night and we fought really bad she left with the kids for a week and came back once she saw i got the help she wanted me to or else she would not have came back. Now that she has been back i have been trying so hard to make her happy. i have been working on all kinds of stuff on the house she wanted done but i never did cause i was always drinking. Now i know she is hurt from the fight i understand and it will take time but i kinda feel like she has given up or it will take alot of time or i have to sweep her off her feet... I tried the sweeping off the feet thing first, we do not go out much so i mentioned last night why dont we go out saturday night just me and you. she says go were? i said lets go to a club she said no. i said a movie and dinner? she says maybe. i said what else would you like to do ? She says i do not know.. So i am gonna ask my dad to watch the girls over night and plan something to surprise her. I am getting some extra cash like 320 dollars which i plan on getting something from tiffany's which she loves and to a nice dinner. i want to surprise her at the dinner with the tiffanys gift. I want her to know that i will not relapse back to a drunk. but with my current history that will be hard to show or for her to take my word. but i do not want to wait 8 months until she sees i mean it without any affection ect.. ect..

We did have sex the second day she was home i gave her a back massage and it turned her on. She still said we have not had makeup sex which i am looking forward to but she says i have to earn that and it has been almost two weeks. i asked how many points do i have to earn to get that, she said i am not sure yet. i said well every nice thing and good deed i do does that count towards that, she says yes but i have not heard anything else. i tried the other night she said we will see how i feel and of course oh i am too tired now. then in the morning i tried i do not want to leave me alone. So i keep getting all this mix signals and crap it is irritating me. I just spoke with her on the phone and she is happy and seems to have let whatever i did that annoyed her go. We will see how tonight goes. i just asked her to give some affection to me cause she says shes not mad but i need more then that. so if she gives me a good hung and says everything is okay i will let it go and just give her time. Any advice would be great i am leaving to go home now thanks guys.

[kizik]

Please divide this into paragraphs and use proper punctuation.