RouRou Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I am at a point in my life where everything is changing. I was in a relationship with a guy who I live with for the last year. I should have ended things sooner but I had invested so much and wanted it to work. We are currently broke up but still live together for the time being. I had kicked him out, but he came back and is now singing a different tune, being really nice, sweet, helping out and really trying not to argue. My problem is, Im on my way to independence again. I started a great new job, Im starting to see and talk to my friends more and be more open to them about my relationship and what has happened. Now that my ex is being so nice again I find myself getting confused. When you date someone and they do something that you do not agree with or they have personality traits that do not suit your lifestyle I tend to have issues accepting my own personal limits. I have a hard time saying "no, this is not right for me, this person is not right for me" and I try to accept them for who they are and that they are different but I end up being unhappy. I feel guilty looking out for whats best for me. I dont want to be a selfish person in life but I want to be happy because I know that life is short and we get one shot...how can I fix this?
wannie9 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I don't think you're being selfish at all. Just go for your goals and don't think too much about him. The bad thing about putting others before us is that they don't always reciprocate. Let's say you go ahead and try to accept him and not really putting yourself first, and he leaves, and then what??? Then you'll feel really guilty and ashamed and might even hate yourself for having thought too much about his needs instead of yours. I've learned the hard way that I need to go first. Unfortunately, sometimes we do need to be selfish in life.
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