CaliGuy Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 You are 40? And that's you in the picture?!? Yep. There are more pictures of me on my LS profile.
CaliGuy Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I have the opposite problem... I can't find a guy who's at the same life stage who wants to date me. All of the guys at the same life stage as me (single, never married, no kids, ready to commit) seem to want to date 20-something women, and the guys who ask me out seem to have ex-wives and kids etc, and are generally quite a bit older. My current bf is 40, which isn't a problem in itself as he's still quite young-looking and active, but unfortunately he has two ex-wives and three kids. See. I'm the same way as your b/f just no ex wives or kids
Lish Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Yep. There are more pictures of me on my LS profile. So whats the lowest age you'd consider?
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I much prefer older. I'm 22 and am very attracted to men in their late 20's and early 30's.
Sam Spade Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I'm a 34-year-old professional and I find it hard to meet any single women my age who don't have some serious issues. Maybe it's because I live in a big city, but the single women my age who I have recently met have either let themselves go and look much older than me, or are very selfish and have a lot of emotional baggage from previous relationships. I'm sure that there are some decent attractive single women around my age, but I never seem to meet them. Same here, I guess I just got lucky with my current GF. She's 30, but with the body and the maturity level of a 25 year old. So I got the best (or the worst:laugh:?) of both worlds? I will hold onto her But in general the women closer to my age (32) and beyond i dated either had kids or some anger/i don't know what issues.
Thornton Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I much prefer older. I'm 22 and am very attracted to men in their late 20's and early 30's. This is the problem for women like me. Of course you're entitled to date whomever you want, but who is a single guy in his early 30s going to choose: Me, aged 30 with a ticking biological clock and a few wrinkles? Or you, aged 22 with great skin and no pressing desire for commitment or kids in the near future? All the unattached guys my age seem to be dating women your age, and all the 40-ish divorced guys with kids seem to be hitting on me. Gosh, I wish I'd known about this when I was your age - I'd have bagged myself a 30-ish unattached guy when I had the chance!
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 This is the problem for women like me. Of course you're entitled to date whomever you want, but who is a single guy in his early 30s going to choose: Me, aged 30 with a ticking biological clock and a few wrinkles? Or you, aged 22 with great skin and no pressing desire for commitment or kids in the near future? All the unattached guys my age seem to be dating women your age, and all the 40-ish divorced guys with kids seem to be hitting on me. Gosh, I wish I'd known about this when I was your age - I'd have bagged myself a 30-ish unattached guy when I had the chance! Yeah, my current boyfriend is 33 and he's a keeper! I'm gonna hang on to him. There is somebody out there for everyone! 30 is not old by ANY means, and even my boyfriend has a few friends that say they are surprised it works out between us, and would rather date someone closer to their own age.
BobSacamento Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Perhaps your friends don't want to be set up with an older more mature partner. Perhaps they are not ready to be bored yet.
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 So whats the lowest age you'd consider? My last G/F was 22 I much prefer older. I'm 22 and am very attracted to men in their late 20's and early 30's. We get REALLY good at 40
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 My last G/F was 22 We get REALLY good at 40 I max out at about 35 so I'll have to take your word for it! ;]
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Haha...I totally remember when I was 21, telling a guy friend of mine (who was 32...but definitely not interested in me - he was like a brother) that I would NEVER date a guy over 30 - it was too old. He looked so insulted. LOL He got a good laugh at my expense, however, when I ended up married to a guy 15 years my senior 3 years later. You never know - somebody you would never consider dating might just be the person to steal your heart.
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Oooh I'm 22.... hi Perfect, lol You have to move to San Diego, though. Ireland is far too cold for me!
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Haha...I totally remember when I was 21, telling a guy friend of mine (who was 32...but definitely not interested in me - he was like a brother) that I would NEVER date a guy over 30 - it was too old. He looked so insulted. LOL He got a good laugh at my expense, however, when I ended up married to a guy 15 years my senior 3 years later. You never know - somebody you would never consider dating might just be the person to steal your heart. 15 years my junior is 25 and I don't think that's too young at all. Once again, it's how old they are MENTALLY that matters to me.
GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 15 years my junior is 25 and I don't think that's too young at all. Once again, it's how old they are MENTALLY that matters to me. they just need to have least have one major heartbreak and can hold down a job beside something that requires dancing and pay in $1's.
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 they just need to have least have one major heartbreak and can hold down a job beside something that requires dancing and pay in $1's. LOL! Yes, I agree one real hard heartbreak can mature a person very fast. As for the $1 dealio, dated 'em. Waste of time, IMHO. They're NUTZ!!
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 15 years my junior is 25 and I don't think that's too young at all. Once again, it's how old they are MENTALLY that matters to me. Hi, Caliguy. LOL You know, I actually SAW a guy today in passing at the gas station that reminded me of you. haha But yeah - physical age doesn't matter to me. Dating a guy now that's 14 years my senior (I'm 29). I don't know - I seem to get along better with older guys. I 'click' better. Course, it doesn't hurt that he has the body of a Greek God...
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Hi, Caliguy. LOL You know, I actually SAW a guy today in passing at the gas station that reminded me of you. haha Was he as hot as me?! LOL (JUST KIDDING!) But yeah - physical age doesn't matter to me. Dating a guy now that's 14 years my senior (I'm 29). I don't know - I seem to get along better with older guys. I 'click' better. Course, it doesn't hurt that he has the body of a Greek God... Yeah well, I am not quite the "greek god" when it comes to my body but I work hard at it and I'm in better shape now than I was at 20. Still working on the six pack but it and the shoulders/back/legs/chest/arms/buns are coming in nicely. As long as you both get along and see eye to eye (and are OF AGE) I don't see what the problem is. Some people think it's weird but I gotta tell ya, it's only weird of you look at people for WHAT they are and not WHO they are.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Was he as hot as me?! Well, he would HAVE to be to remind me of you, now wouldn't he? LMAO I'll admit it - I did a double-take. haha
GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 As for the $1 dealio, dated 'em. Waste of time, IMHO. They're NUTZ!! Yes but most have daddy issues so they go for you older men!!!
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Yes but most have daddy issues so they go for you older men!!! That's because we have $$ and we're, usually, settled down, mature and not drinking all night or doing drugs. Plus - we're better lovers
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Well, he would HAVE to be to remind me of you, now wouldn't he? LMAO I'll admit it - I did a double-take. haha Hehe, maybe I have a mini-me running around this planet?! SCARY THOUGHT Thanks for the double take. I did that this morning too when getting coffee. Oh man was she HOT!
sumdude Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Yes, that's it. At 40, I'm finally ready to settle down. No kids, never been married, got all the partying out of my system (I was a rock star, baby!). Been there, done that, got the t-shirt kind of deal. Ok, so I'm 40. I'm still active (very) and hardly dead yet. So why would I settle for a woman my age who is inactive, has kids, a past marriage (with all the trouble that brings) and can't keep up with me? It's not about the trophy with me. It's all about finding someone who's at the same stage of life I am. And I can't find a woman my age that is... You and me are in about the same place Cali, other than I've been married and divorced. The ex is so completely out of the picture that it's no different than an ex GF since we had no kids. I usually get pegged around 32 - 36 even though I'm 41, life is good. I agree, most of the women around my age are in a different place in life.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 In your opinion it is. But there are many cases of marriages where there are significant ages differences that work out. There's no guarnantee that a relationship is going to work out any better for people close to the same age as there for people of larger age gaps. Nothing in life is guaranteed. I did say "personally" CaliGuy. Most women aren't going to go for a man 20 years older. Unless the man is rich and she wants his money. And to use celebrities as examples: Billy Joel and Paul McCartney. Both married younger women, both now bitterly divorced. One was running around on him with a younger man. I never said there were guarentees either. I do think relationships have an easier go for people that don't have to fight with age related issues. And age related issues do come up. And age related issues become more prominant as you age. The older we get, the faster we age. My parents have significant age gap and I have had this age discussion with my mother often. She often tells me to learn from her own life and choose a man closer in age to me. I have seen the issues within in my own parents relationship due to their age. Now I love my dad but I see the difference between my mother and father. You seem to have this idea that men keep themsevles in shape and women don't. Both genders can easily let themselves go. If you don't want to be with women your age and think other people in your generation are this and that, why should a woman who is even younger then you want to settle for you? When you consider it "settling" for yourself? (And not really *you* as in you you.) Sure I can. And I used them for example because almost everyone KNOWS them. It's better than the example where nobody knows Jack/Jane. We don't pick are partners in the same experience they do. Would George Clooney be dating models if he was your average guy? Jersey, have you been slighted/jaded by someone in the past? Because you seem to speak as though you have experience dating older men who treat you like a commodity instead of a human being. People can only treat you poorly if you let them. I am not saying it's OK for them to treat you that way, I am simply saying that anyone who can't weed out bad people in their lives and separate themselves from them -- well -- I mean, what do they expect? I am unclear why you are after-school-specialing me. I didn't say anyone treated me terrible. What I did say is that I find relationships with men closer to my own age much more exciting then the relationships I had with older men. At the time, I did think those relationships with the older guys were fun. They were different. And then when I started dating men closer to my age, they were much more exciting. As for who is treated as a commodity, I personally think that men in general do treat women as a commodity, older or younger. Hence the reason you have so many men here tooting their horns about their age and slamming women for theirs. That is why I think younger women should be especially leary of dating older men that put more stock in the woman's age then they do in their age. Because some day that younger woman won't be younger anymore. And where does that leave any of us women? Unfortunetly for women, women value men despite the fact they get older and that's a good thing and I know men take pride in this. But men seem to value women only based on not being older. Why work hard at it at all to begin with if that's how men really feel about it? Where does that leave any of us woman? No where very promising or to look forward to. I agree, but I also think that most people have no clue what they want until they are in their late 20s/early 30s. They shouldn't even THINK about marriage until then. My comments you qouted and responded to weren't about marriage. They were about something being very attractive about being able to grow and mature with a guy and go through the same life stages as him instead of being with a man that had already been there and done that. Some women agree, some don't. I've dated firmly established well off men and it taught me that money and security aren't everything. I could have easily married a well off stock-trader and had a life time of security but I need emotional security far more then money security. Most women want emotional security. Men that chase after younger women with the idea that as an older man they are wonderful and the likes of that, don't always provide stablity and emotional security because their mentality is one on trading women in and up or down for hteir personal benefit. Where are you getting your information from, J? It's so slighted it's not even funny. I don't date younger because I feel like it's a prize or something. I date younger because a) they are more active b) they don't have baggage from prior relationships c) they don't have kids yet and are more likely to start a family with me. It's got nothing to do with waving my ePeen in the air, dragging my mate by the hair and screaming to the world "look at me!!!" Is that why you often mention the age of the women you date and talk about how active and inshape yuo are? And in this thread you are flirting with a younger woman saying how you dated someone her age with a proud smile attached to the end? Come on, be honest at least CaliGuy. I'm not saying that makes you a bad guy but I don't think you are even being honest to yourself. You date younger because of all the reasons you listed and because you do feel like you are more of a prize then women your own age. You don't think women your age are good enough for you yet you expect younger women to view you as good enough for them. What happens when that woman ages? You know, that happens to use women. Children, activity level, baggage from prior reltaionships...these are all things men and women can easily have or not no matter their age. There isn't one person here that doesn't have baggage. Some women would argue that dating a man that never had been married by the time he was 40 was bad news. I personally am not interested in dating aging playboys that lived it up in their youth and now think they should be able to date and settle down with someone my age. I need to look out for my best interests first and the future and that mentality doesn't bode well for my future with such a man. More her equal as in what? And the divorce, are you sure that's 100% on him? It takes two to make a marriage and two to make it work. She wants someone more active, more confident, someone closer to her age to relate to. And of course a divorce and marriage takes two. No doubt. But the reasons it didn't work for her was alot related to his age. Again, it's been your experience. I think you may have a problem discerning between good-older men and bad-older men and I think you'll have the same problem with men your age as well. I am just honest to realize that age doesn't make you more mature and better. I try to stay away from men that put alot of stock in a woman's age when they don't hold themselves up to the same standard. I need a man that is going to be proud of me, support me and think I am gorgeous no matter my age and isn't always goign to be chasing someone 10 or 20 years younger because he thinks his sexuality is more important to the world then I am. I want to live my life being beautiful and feminine through it. Just like men want to live their feeling masculine and sexual. I want a man that thinks I get better with age. Not worse. Really, that's what all women want whether she is 20 or 40. How can men honestly expect women to not want that? And do men honestly not want to give that to women? What I see alot, especially on this board, are men that want to put women down alot for their age. Well what do you men expect us to do? We can't stop aging. If you always think 20 year old girls are best then it's pretty realistic to assume that men don't really care about women at all. Don't date us, don't get married and just chase 20 year olds..and then when those 20 year olds have kids and their own kids become of age, then date them. Interchange us to your hearts content. That's what alot of men do anyway and I think it makes men happy to see women treated that way. Even those 20 year olds will age. We don't even get a chance. Men are lucky. Women want to talk you up, respect you and give you praise as you get older. Alot of men want to make fun of us and put us down. Where does that leave women? No where possibly good or postive or something to look forward to. So it looks like women get to be the butt of the joke. And men can live their lives reveling in their own sexuality while telling women they shouldn't want to be or feel sexual, alive and beautiful. That might as well be what men are saying when they tell women they are less worthy of male attention and relationships as they get older. I can't seem the find the articles now and since I am at work I probably should be working (LOL) but suffice to say that it's not unusual to have 10+ year age gaps in marriages outside of the US I am sure it isn't. That's because we live in a male dominated society and men think they have more worth then women do. As a woman, it's pretty disheartening when you want men to think your still beautiful, sexy and able to be just as exciting as someone who is 20. You're making the assumption that all older men see women for their age alone and that's just not the case. For me at least, it's that I feel/act/look younger than I am. Why would I want to be with a 40 year old woman who feels/acts/looks her age? I want someone who is active, hasn't been married, doesn't have kids and wants to start a family. Most women my age do not want kids, have ex-husband issues and other issues from a prior marriage. I don't bring any of that to a relationship. I am a clean slate -- and want someone with a clean slate. If I could find someone on my level at my age, I'd go for it. So far, I haven't been able to. No one is a clean slate. Unless you have had no relationships at all. And if you want a woman with one, you should date 12 year olds. I think older men see a woman's age and factor it in hugely. Is that the only thing he sees? No. But if men didn't not look at age at all, he would be dating someone his own age. Basically, you wanted to party in your youth and now that you are older you want to settle down with someone that didn't get to have the same kind of fun. I'm a 34-year-old professional and I find it hard to meet any single women my age who don't have some serious issues. Maybe it's because I live in a big city, but the single women my age who I have recently met have either let themselves go and look much older than me, or are very selfish and have a lot of emotional baggage from previous relationships. I'm sure that there are some decent attractive single women around my age, but I never seem to meet them. Same is easily said for men around your age.
sumdude Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Jeez, JS.. while I'm fine with your choices and preferences you may not realize how your posts sometimes scream of resentment towards men.
Recommended Posts