Older men

[CaliGuy]

With all due respect, that's what all older men say because they want to in a way, market themselves the better sell but it's not really true. Younger women aren't missing out because they don't want to date older men. They will meet fabulous men their own age and go on to be quite happy.

 

Not all older men are mature. I have seen plenty that aren't. Not all younger men are immature. I have seen plenty that could out do many older guys in maturity. The ideal for a youngre woman is to find a man her age who is mature, stable, responsible and has his head on his shoulders.

 

There are problems either way you go, older men or younger men/men your age. They are usually a different set of problems depending on the age of the man but older men aren't better because of age. Especially in this day and age.

 

Yes, you are quite correct. Everyone is different. However, on the whole.

 

1. Older men are more mature than younger.

2. Older men are generally better established.

3. Older men are more experienced.

4. Older men are more wiser.

 

Whether that translates into a happier experience or not is subjective. But world-wide, the typical age difference between men and women is much higher than in the US. That is because a large age difference is acceptable to other cultures. Just not here in the US because "image is everything" to our society, not substance (which to me is more important).

 

Not sure where you're getting your data, but suffice to say that history disagrees with your assumptions.

 

And I am quite aware there are older men who act less mature. But that is generally not a gender specific issue. I've met plenty of older women who are completely immature for their age.

[Thornton]

1. Older men are more mature than younger.

2. Older men are generally better established.

3. Older men are more experienced.

4. Older men are more wiser.

 

I am prepared to agree with this. However, a 30-35yo man is reasonably mature and well established, and sufficiently experienced and wise - one does not have to date a guy in his mid-40s or older in order to satisfy these criteria. A 30-35yo guy would do me just fine. Unfortunately they're all off dating 25yo women, leaving the 30+ women with littloe choice but to date guys who are well into their 40s.

[CaliGuy]

I am prepared to agree with this. However, a 30-35yo man is reasonably mature and well established, and sufficiently experienced and wise - one does not have to date a guy in his mid-40s or older in order to satisfy these criteria. A 30-35yo guy would do me just fine. Unfortunately they're all off dating 25yo women, leaving the 30+ women with littloe choice but to date guys who are well into their 40s.

 

Dating sites are your friend. You can find a guy in his 30s if that is what you wish. I've had fantastic luck meeting women who match my criteria. That's the benefit of using a dating site. You can pretty much eliminate all of the men who don't match your criteria and filter in the one's who do.

[Lish]

Well speaking as one who typically dates women 10-15 years younger than him, she's missing out. But you can't tell people what they should like or not like. The simple fact (and one you have learned) is that for the most part, older men are more experienced, mature and responsible than younger guys.

 

I agree. I think guys my age (22) tend to still be going through the 'young fun' stages of their lives (especially the ones around me who are at University) and don't tend to want anything more than casual sex. This is generally speaking, so before anyone gets hot headed..

 

Also, I think if you have chemistry with someone, age shouldn't really be a factor if you both want the same things?

[Quest]

I prefer to date men around the same age as me (give or take five years) because I think you can share more together that way. I once dated a man about ten years older than me and missed the fact that he didn't have the same cultural references.

[Thornton]

Also, I think if you have chemistry with someone, age shouldn't really be a factor if you both want the same things?

 

It depends on the age gap.

 

With a 10-15yr age gap, my husband would be past the age where he wants kids by the time I was ready to have them - he might even have raised a family with someone else already, or might be so broke from paying child support to someone else's kids that he can't afford to have any with me. Even if we had kids, he'd be retired before they even graduated from high school.

 

With a 20yr age gap or more, there's still the same issue with kids. Plus I'd still be in my prime when my husband retired, and he would be dead by the time I retire and am ready to enjoy my retirement - either that or I'd end up spending my retirement being his carer in his old age.

 

None of these scenarios sound good to me.

[Sam Spade]

I would add: and who wants to date her and not a younger model.

 

At 20-25 I found that guys the same age as me were happy to date me. But now I'm looking at guys in the 30-35 range and finding that they also want to date the 20-25yo girls (usually to avoid the ticking biological clocks of women their own age), while 30-ish women such as myself seem to get hit on by 40-ish guys. Finding a good guy of the same age is much easier in your 20s when younger girls are barely legal and therefore undateable... once you hit 30 the younger girls are now mature enough to attract the guys in your age range, leaving you with the guys who are a decade or more your senior.

 

That is generally true. Being in my 30s, when I used to date around before meeting my current gf (who was 29 at the time), i discovered that I have strong psychological aversion to dating women older than 32/33/34, precisely for the reasons you mention - I had no problems with the age as a number at all, but I'd have nagging doubts in the back of my head, that they'd feel some pressure to move things forward quickly before the "dreaded" age of 35 and after approaches, for the sake of kids etc. This fear turned out to be unfounded, but mostly with women who already had kids or were quite sure that they don't want kids.

[Lish]

It depends on the age gap.

 

With a 10-15yr age gap, my husband would be past the age where he wants kids by the time I was ready to have them - he might even have raised a family with someone else already, or might be so broke from paying child support to someone else's kids that he can't afford to have any with me. Even if we had kids, he'd be retired before they even graduated from high school.

 

With a 20yr age gap or more, there's still the same issue with kids. Plus I'd still be in my prime when my husband retired, and he would be dead by the time I retire and am ready to enjoy my retirement - either that or I'd end up spending my retirement being his carer in his old age.

 

None of these scenarios sound good to me.

 

I can totally understand where you're coming from. It works for some people, it doesn't for others. Personally, i haven't dated a guy more than 3 years older than me and that's not because I have a strict restriction, it's just never happened.

I just think there are alot of people who take the age thing far too seriously though. My friend has a boundary of age 25 and a really nice guy asked her out the other day, he's 26, and she said no. She's 23.

 

I think there's having a reasonable approach to age and an extreme and stupid one like above.. I just don't think it's particularly necessary.

 

and wooo, 100 posts

[CaliGuy]

It depends on the age gap.

 

With a 10-15yr age gap, my husband would be past the age where he wants kids by the time I was ready to have them - he might even have raised a family with someone else already, or might be so broke from paying child support to someone else's kids that he can't afford to have any with me. Even if we had kids, he'd be retired before they even graduated from high school.

 

With a 20yr age gap or more, there's still the same issue with kids. Plus I'd still be in my prime when my husband retired, and he would be dead by the time I retire and am ready to enjoy my retirement - either that or I'd end up spending my retirement being his carer in his old age.

 

None of these scenarios sound good to me.

 

Depends on the guy, too. If he stays in shape, takes care of himself then I don't see why he would be considered old, even if he is 20 years older. That said, I think for that large of an age gap it would have to be an exceptional circumstance.

 

I think John McCain is 17 years older than his wife.

I'm pretty sure Demi Moore's husband is what? 15 years her junior?

 

It's not unusual, it just takes two exceptional people for it to work. If either person is mentally or emotionally immature, I don't see it working out.

[Thornton]

Depends on the guy, too. If he stays in shape, takes care of himself then I don't see why he would be considered old, even if he is 20 years older. That said, I think for that large of an age gap it would have to be an exceptional circumstance.

 

I think John McCain is 17 years older than his wife.

I'm pretty sure Demi Moore's husband is what? 15 years her junior?

 

It's not unusual, it just takes two exceptional people for it to work. If either person is mentally or emotionally immature, I don't see it working out.

 

Demi Moore is still pretty, but I'm fairly sure that her marriage had a lot to do with her wealth and influence, and her husband's desire to get the career breaks that she could give him. They can never have kids (which is one reason why I think the marriage won't last), but her existing kids are hardly likely to be a financial burden on their new stepdad. I imagine that age gap marriages are less common among people with less wealth.

 

 

Whether an age gap relationship works has a lot to do with the life stage both people are at imo. If they're both childless and never married, the relationship is more likely to work than if one is divorced with kids and the other isn't, for example.

[Jersey Shortie]

 

Thronton

 

I would add: and who wants to date her and not a younger model.

 

 

A lot of men her age would want to date her. Most people stay within a certain age range of their own age. I mean, we are talking about your average Joe here. Not George Clooney who clearly can date models. If an older man doesn’t want to “settle” for someone his own age, there is no reason why a younger woman should have to settle for someone his age either. *shrug* We don't live in the 1950s any more.

 

And while your experience leads you to date men older, mine has lead me to date men closer to my own age. I have no trouble at all attracting men my age. And I am enjoying these relationships more then I did when I dated older men. They are more exciting. The men are more alive and active and goal oriented and I rather personally be with a man that has the mentality of someone interested in dating someone his own age, then one that thinks he deserves me, someone younger because he spent his younger days not being serious about women and looks at women as a loosing commodity. It bodes better for my future to pick such a man then one that is just out looking for someone younger. Because those type of men will always be looking for someone younger. There are men out there that aren't like that though Thank-God.

 

 

Sumdude:

 

Milestones of life have very little to do with age once you get a few years past 21. It's what you experience together that are milestones and they are mostly not age related.

 

What are the major milestones in life are once you graduate from college?

 

Well for one thing, I think people change alot between 21-26. I also think there are different life cycles of someone in their 20s, 30s and 40s.

 

I have dated older men Sumdude and men my age. And I rather be on the path with a man around my age instead of one that was just interested in something younger then him because he thought his life had more worth then mine as a woman. That's what it comes down to. I really think that alot of men here think their worth as a man has more value then women. Hence the reason they toot their own horns at being older but tear women do for the the same.

 

I rather be with a man that will go through the life cycles with me instead of him having already platued over them. Out of all my friends that dated older men, it was just me and my other friend. She married him but is now divorced. And she says the big reason was the age difference and he wasn't what she wanted anymore as she got older. She wanted someone more her equal.

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Caliguy

Yes, you are quite correct. Everyone is different. However, on the whole.

 

1. Older men are more mature than younger.

2. Older men are generally better established.

3. Older men are more experienced.

4. Older men are more wiser.

 

 

Whether that translates into a happier experience or not is subjective.

 

Well, it's been my personal experience that older men are not more mature, always more established or wiser. I think the golden calf for women is finding a man around her age that has all those fine qualities. He will value her in a different way then a man that just is with her because she is younger will.

 

 

But world-wide, the typical age difference between men and women is much higher than in the US. That is because a large age difference is acceptable to other cultures.

 

I'd love to see those stats and which cultures those are. In alot of other cultures, women are even more subserviant and less independent. If you are going to use that a reference then it seems to me that with more independence and free choice, women choose men closer to their own age where they don't have to be with someone so much older then them.

 

 

Just not here in the US because "image is everything" to our society, not substance (which to me is more important).

 

Well that's just it. Women want substance in their relationships. Probably more then men do. What woman wants to be with a man that is valuing for her age? That's not substance CaliGuy. Older men gonig after younger women has nothing to do with real substance and does have alot to do with image. His own personal image of himself and how he wants society to view him. But what does the woman get out of the deal? An older mate that puts more stock in her worth and age then he puts in his own worth and age. That's not substance. Infact, if women in the US are more independent and picking mates based on how they relate to them and not age and wealth, that seems to me tobe real substance.

 

 

 

Not sure where you're getting your data, but suffice to say that history disagrees with your assumptions.

 

Well, women have more choices now then ever. And they don't have to settle for older male partners like they once did to sustain a life and be supported. I agree that in thet past, historically, older man/ younger woman relationships were more common. That's not so much the cut now-a-days. None of my friends were intersted in dating older men, expect one. They were quite turned off when these type of men tried to hit on them. If a man si going to judge a woman for her age, there is no reason why a woman shouldn't judge him for his. That's happening more and more.

[Jersey Shortie]

Depends on the guy, too. If he stays in shape, takes care of himself then I don't see why he would be considered old, even if he is 20 years older.

 

I personally think if a guy stays in shape, 10 years is old enough to be considered clearly older but not unresonable. 20 years is kind of foolish.

 

I think John McCain is 17 years older than his wife.

I'm pretty sure Demi Moore's husband is what? 15 years her junior?

 

You can't relate rich public figure types to the average human experience.

[dreamergrl]

When I was younger, older guys creeped me out. Then at 26 I met a guy ten years older then me. He turned out to be a habitual liar. I tried another 36 year old, he had a huge drinking and anger management problem. So I moved back to early 30's for my age range. I made an exception for a guy, I went out with a few times, but he gave me the commitment phobic vibe.

 

I generally like to stick to my age, or a few years difference. Maybe it was just the bad experiences that turned me off, but hey, it's what I'm comfortable with and attracted to.

 

IMO, 5 years isn't bad. Given that you are about 20 at least.

[torranceshipman]

I like ideally to date a guy who is between my age and about 5 yrs up. I like a guy who is emotionally mature, has his career and life sorted and has some level of sophistication...all of that generally comes with age...plus I also have this thing that I worry that a 28yr old (for example) might be a heck of a lot different when he gets to 35 (in life outlook, career, etc-I.e. down the road the compatibility might dive as a result)...but if you meet a guy who is already (say) mid-30's it is likely that you aren't going to get any huge changes in his personality, so less problems associated with the person changing so much that you are not compatible anymore...

[northstar1]

I'm hitting my late 30's and I have dated girls as young as 11 years younger, and 4 years older.

 

The last relationship I had before my current one, and the one that brough me to LS, was 10 years younger. And while did have some common interests and pursuits, we were both at very different stages in life. She had no clue on what path she wanted to take in life, and frequently was indecisive and fickle. Also, she had a rather inflated sense of entitlement, that so often plagues the Y Generation. I was more settled, and looking in the near future to start putting down some roots.

 

It was fun while it lasted, but for the most part we were incongruous with each other.

[CaliGuy]

I personally think if a guy stays in shape, 10 years is old enough to be considered clearly older but not unresonable. 20 years is kind of foolish.

 

In your opinion it is. But there are many cases of marriages where there are significant ages differences that work out. There's no guarnantee that a relationship is going to work out any better for people close to the same age as there for people of larger age gaps. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

 

You can't relate rich public figure types to the average human experience.

 

Sure I can. And I used them for example because almost everyone KNOWS them. It's better than the example where nobody knows Jack/Jane.

 

 

A lot of men her age would want to date her. Most people stay within a certain age range of their own age. I mean, we are talking about your average Joe here. Not George Clooney who clearly can date models. If an older man doesn’t want to “settle” for someone his own age, there is no reason why a younger woman should have to settle for someone his age either. *shrug* We don't live in the 1950s any more.

 

I never said that it has to go one way or another. There are no set rules.

 

And while your experience leads you to date men older, mine has lead me to date men closer to my own age. I have no trouble at all attracting men my age. And I am enjoying these relationships more then I did when I dated older men. They are more exciting. The men are more alive and active and goal oriented and I rather personally be with a man that has the mentality of someone interested in dating someone his own age, then one that thinks he deserves me, someone younger because he spent his younger days not being serious about women and looks at women as a loosing commodity. It bodes better for my future to pick such a man then one that is just out looking for someone younger. Because those type of men will always be looking for someone younger. There are men out there that aren't like that though Thank-God.

 

Jersey, have you been slighted/jaded by someone in the past? Because you seem to speak as though you have experience dating older men who treat you like a commodity instead of a human being.

 

People can only treat you poorly if you let them. I am not saying it's OK for them to treat you that way, I am simply saying that anyone who can't weed out bad people in their lives and separate themselves from them -- well -- I mean, what do they expect?

 

Well for one thing, I think people change alot between 21-26. I also think there are different life cycles of someone in their 20s, 30s and 40s.

 

I agree, but I also think that most people have no clue what they want until they are in their late 20s/early 30s. They shouldn't even THINK about marriage until then.

 

I have dated older men Sumdude and men my age. And I rather be on the path with a man around my age instead of one that was just interested in something younger then him because he thought his life had more worth then mine as a woman. That's what it comes down to. I really think that alot of men here think their worth as a man has more value then women. Hence the reason they toot their own horns at being older but tear women do for the the same.

 

Where are you getting your information from, J? It's so slighted it's not even funny. I don't date younger because I feel like it's a prize or something. I date younger because a) they are more active b) they don't have baggage from prior relationships c) they don't have kids yet and are more likely to start a family with me.

 

It's got nothing to do with waving my ePeen in the air, dragging my mate by the hair and screaming to the world "look at me!!!"

 

I rather be with a man that will go through the life cycles with me instead of him having already platued over them. Out of all my friends that dated older men, it was just me and my other friend. She married him but is now divorced. And she says the big reason was the age difference and he wasn't what she wanted anymore as she got older. She wanted someone more her equal.

 

More her equal as in what? And the divorce, are you sure that's 100% on him? It takes two to make a marriage and two to make it work.

 

Well, it's been my personal experience that older men are not more mature, always more established or wiser. I think the golden calf for women is finding a man around her age that has all those fine qualities. He will value her in a different way then a man that just is with her because she is younger will.

 

Again, it's been your experience. I think you may have a problem discerning between good-older men and bad-older men and I think you'll have the same problem with men your age as well.

 

I'd love to see those stats and which cultures those are. In alot of other cultures, women are even more subserviant and less independent. If you are going to use that a reference then it seems to me that with more independence and free choice, women choose men closer to their own age where they don't have to be with someone so much older then them.

 

I can't seem the find the articles now and since I am at work I probably should be working (LOL) but suffice to say that it's not unusual to have 10+ year age gaps in marriages outside of the US

 

 

Well that's just it. Women want substance in their relationships. Probably more then men do. What woman wants to be with a man that is valuing for her age? That's not substance CaliGuy. Older men gonig after younger women has nothing to do with real substance and does have alot to do with image. His own personal image of himself and how he wants society to view him. But what does the woman get out of the deal? An older mate that puts more stock in her worth and age then he puts in his own worth and age. That's not substance. Infact, if women in the US are more independent and picking mates based on how they relate to them and not age and wealth, that seems to me tobe real substance.

 

You're making the assumption that all older men see women for their age alone and that's just not the case. For me at least, it's that I feel/act/look younger than I am. Why would I want to be with a 40 year old woman who feels/acts/looks her age? I want someone who is active, hasn't been married, doesn't have kids and wants to start a family. Most women my age do not want kids, have ex-husband issues and other issues from a prior marriage. I don't bring any of that to a relationship. I am a clean slate -- and want someone with a clean slate.

 

If I could find someone on my level at my age, I'd go for it. So far, I haven't been able to.

 

Well, women have more choices now then ever. And they don't have to settle for older male partners like they once did to sustain a life and be supported. I agree that in thet past, historically, older man/ younger woman relationships were more common. That's not so much the cut now-a-days. None of my friends were intersted in dating older men, expect one. They were quite turned off when these type of men tried to hit on them. If a man si going to judge a woman for her age, there is no reason why a woman shouldn't judge him for his. That's happening more and more.

 

Cougars and Pumas are rampant these days. I would never tell a woman she HAS to date someone her age or older. I'm all for people going for what they want in life and not being told what they "should" accept by society (as long as it's within our laws). So if a 45 year old woman wants to date/marry a 25 year old guy, go for it.

[northstar1]

In your opinion it is. But there are many cases of marriages where there are significant ages differences that work out. There's no guarnantee that a relationship is going to work out any better for people close to the same age as there for people of larger age gaps. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

 

 

 

Sure I can. And I used them for example because almost everyone KNOWS them. It's better than the example where nobody knows Jack/Jane.

 

 

 

I never said that it has to go one way or another. There are no set rules.

 

 

 

Jersey, have you been slighted/jaded by someone in the past? Because you seem to speak as though you have experience dating older men who treat you like a commodity instead of a human being.

 

People can only treat you poorly if you let them. I am not saying it's OK for them to treat you that way, I am simply saying that anyone who can't weed out bad people in their lives and separate themselves from them -- well -- I mean, what do they expect?

 

 

 

I agree, but I also think that most people have no clue what they want until they are in their late 20s/early 30s. They shouldn't even THINK about marriage until then.

 

 

 

Where are you getting your information from, J? It's so slighted it's not even funny. I don't date younger because I feel like it's a prize or something. I date younger because a) they are more active b) they don't have baggage from prior relationships c) they don't have kids yet and are more likely to start a family with me.

 

It's got nothing to do with waving my ePeen in the air, dragging my mate by the hair and screaming to the world "look at me!!!"

 

 

 

More her equal as in what? And the divorce, are you sure that's 100% on him? It takes two to make a marriage and two to make it work.

 

 

 

Again, it's been your experience. I think you may have a problem discerning between good-older men and bad-older men and I think you'll have the same problem with men your age as well.

 

 

 

I can't seem the find the articles now and since I am at work I probably should be working (LOL) but suffice to say that it's not unusual to have 10+ year age gaps in marriages outside of the US

 

 

 

 

You're making the assumption that all older men see women for their age alone and that's just not the case. For me at least, it's that I feel/act/look younger than I am. Why would I want to be with a 40 year old woman who feels/acts/looks her age? I want someone who is active, hasn't been married, doesn't have kids and wants to start a family. Most women my age do not want kids, have ex-husband issues and other issues from a prior marriage. I don't bring any of that to a relationship. I am a clean slate -- and want someone with a clean slate.

 

If I could find someone on my level at my age, I'd go for it. So far, I haven't been able to.

 

 

 

Cougars and Pumas are rampant these days. I would never tell a woman she HAS to date someone her age or older. I'm all for people going for what they want in life and not being told what they "should" accept by society (as long as it's within our laws). So if a 45 year old woman wants to date/marry a 25 year old guy, go for it.

 

Well said Cali, and you and I are nearly at the same age.

 

In the end, we like what we like..........period. People should worry about their own lives and what they like, and stop generalizing and ripping on others for what they do.

[SierraRose]

I am 39. My last b/f was almost 7 years younger than me. He was both very street smart and intelligant; however, lacked maturity. My current b/f is 5 years older than me. In doing the math, there is a 13 year age difference between my last b/f and current one. HUGE DIFFERENCE!

 

He is not that much older than me, but he is wiser, more mature, stable mentally. He doesn't have the insecurities of the younger man. Also, we are in similar places in life and I find it much easier to communicate with him. I am MUCH happier now.

[Chicago_Guy]

I am prepared to agree with this. However, a 30-35yo man is reasonably mature and well established, and sufficiently experienced and wise - one does not have to date a guy in his mid-40s or older in order to satisfy these criteria. A 30-35yo guy would do me just fine. Unfortunately they're all off dating 25yo women, leaving the 30+ women with littloe choice but to date guys who are well into their 40s.

 

I'm a 34-year-old professional and I find it hard to meet any single women my age who don't have some serious issues. Maybe it's because I live in a big city, but the single women my age who I have recently met have either let themselves go and look much older than me, or are very selfish and have a lot of emotional baggage from previous relationships.

 

I'm sure that there are some decent attractive single women around my age, but I never seem to meet them.

[CaliGuy]

I'm sure that there are some decent attractive single women around my age, but I never seem to meet them.

 

Ditto. Same issues here my friend.

[sumdude]

Age difference has little to do with whether or not a relationship will last. I have too many examples around me to prove it.

 

Me and Ex-wife: she's 1.5 years younger > divorced

 

Me & ex-GF: she's 1 year younger > broke up

 

Parents: mom 8 years younger > till death did they part

 

Brother and wife: she's 8 years younger > married 10+ years so far, been together longer

 

Freind 1 and ex-wife: she's about 8 yrs younger > divorced

 

I can go on..

 

Honestly I have no problem with someone choosing to date whatever age they want. No reason to keep rationalizing and defending it. I'm tired of the sound of axes grinding.

[Thornton]

I agree, but I also think that most people have no clue what they want until they are in their late 20s/early 30s. They shouldn't even THINK about marriage until then.

I agree with this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there hve been research studies which showed that people who get married older are more likely to stay together. Most people I know who got married young are now divorced.

 

Where are you getting your information from, J? It's so slighted it's not even funny. I don't date younger because I feel like it's a prize or something. I date younger because a) they are more active b) they don't have baggage from prior relationships c) they don't have kids yet and are more likely to start a family with me.

These are pretty much the same reasons why women want to date men of their own age rather than older men. Older men are often less active, they do have baggage from previous relationships, and they often have kids and either don't want or can't afford to have more kids.

 

You're making the assumption that all older men see women for their age alone and that's just not the case. For me at least, it's that I feel/act/look younger than I am. Why would I want to be with a 40 year old woman who feels/acts/looks her age? I want someone who is active, hasn't been married, doesn't have kids and wants to start a family. Most women my age do not want kids, have ex-husband issues and other issues from a prior marriage. I don't bring any of that to a relationship. I am a clean slate -- and want someone with a clean slate.

So really it's about life stage, not about age? I guess I'd have less of a problem dating an older guy if he was never married, no kids, no ex-wives, etc. But most older guys have all of that baggage - sure, younger guys can have that baggage too, but it's a bit less likely. In your case, you're looking for a woman who's at the same life stage as you - which most women your age aren't, so it's understandable that you want to date younger.

[CaliGuy]

I agree with this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there hve been research studies which showed that people who get married older are more likely to stay together. Most people I know who got married young are now divorced.

 

 

These are pretty much the same reasons why women want to date men of their own age rather than older men. Older men are often less active, they do have baggage from previous relationships, and they often have kids and either don't want or can't afford to have more kids.

 

 

So really it's about life stage, not about age? I guess I'd have less of a problem dating an older guy if he was never married, no kids, no ex-wives, etc. But most older guys have all of that baggage - sure, younger guys can have that baggage too, but it's a bit less likely. In your case, you're looking for a woman who's at the same life stage as you - which most women your age aren't, so it's understandable that you want to date younger.

 

Yes, that's it. At 40, I'm finally ready to settle down. No kids, never been married, got all the partying out of my system (I was a rock star, baby!). Been there, done that, got the t-shirt kind of deal.

 

Ok, so I'm 40. I'm still active (very) and hardly dead yet. So why would I settle for a woman my age who is inactive, has kids, a past marriage (with all the trouble that brings) and can't keep up with me?

 

It's not about the trophy with me. It's all about finding someone who's at the same stage of life I am. And I can't find a woman my age that is...

[Lish]

Yes, that's it. At 40, I'm finally ready to settle down. No kids, never been married, got all the partying out of my system (I was a rock star, baby!). Been there, done that, got the t-shirt kind of deal.

 

Ok, so I'm 40. I'm still active (very) and hardly dead yet. So why would I settle for a woman my age who is inactive, has kids, a past marriage (with all the trouble that brings) and can't keep up with me?

 

It's not about the trophy with me. It's all about finding someone who's at the same stage of life I am. And I can't find a woman my age that is...

You are 40? And that's you in the picture?!?

[Thornton]

I have the opposite problem... I can't find a guy who's at the same life stage who wants to date me. All of the guys at the same life stage as me (single, never married, no kids, ready to commit) seem to want to date 20-something women, and the guys who ask me out seem to have ex-wives and kids etc, and are generally quite a bit older. My current bf is 40, which isn't a problem in itself as he's still quite young-looking and active, but unfortunately he has two ex-wives and three kids.