oceangrl Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 So this is what I've been noticing when talking with my gfs. They won't date men that are older than them by 2 years or more. I have a friend that is almost 25 and she said she wouldn't date a 30 yr old because to her thats "too old". She only dates guys that are either the same age, younger, or 1-2 years older. When I told her my man is 5 years my senior, she was shocked that I would even consider anyone that "old". And I'm shocked that she finds age to be such an important factor....when there are so many men I know in their 30's that are attractive, stable (both emotionally and financially) and ready for a relationship. I've even tried to set my friends up with 30 year old guys and they've refused. These girls are around my age....23-25 so I assume most men they choose that are around this age, aren't ready for anything serious yet (but my gfs are). I don't think they realize that they might be looking in the wrong age group... So for the girls on here, do you prefer younger guys? same age? older? and why? Is it their personality...appearance....sex...?
bluewolf17 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I like guys around my age (26). I like someone that can keep up with me. . Actually, it probably wouldn't matter if I met a great guy who was 30. I just default to someone closer to my age.
ReturnToSender Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Everyone has their preferences and what they are comfortable with. I dont really see it as a big deal. Theres nothing saying one has to date in their age group, or that they have to date someone older or younger. And even then...there are always exceptions...that one person who the chemistry is just there and it works. I think its silly that a 5 year age difference was shocking to your friend...but then again, Ive dated up to a 24 year age difference. My bf being 4 years older than me....thats like no age difference at all in my book.
whiteberry Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 So for the girls on here, do you prefer younger guys? same age? older? and why? Is it their personality...appearance....sex...? I prefer same age or younger guys! It's because I found older man too boring. Most of them are too serious and *killjoy*. And what I hate about them is they always keep on telling you what to do...
quankanne Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 have always gone out with older men, and my husband is 13 years older than me. Why? I think it has something to do with growing up at the tail end of a huge family, and therefore being around older kids ... the ones my age just didn't seem mature when I was in my teens, and I just related better to older guys.
ReturnToSender Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I prefer same age or younger guys! It's because I found older man too boring. Most of them are too serious and *killjoy*. And what I hate about them is they always keep on telling you what to do... hehe! You know what? Ive experienced the total opposite! With younger guys, I always found them to take everything so serious. Theyre working on their career, working on a serious relationship, still trying to figure out where they are going to go, how they are going to get there...etc. With much older guys, the ones Ive seen..theyre already established in their career, dont have anything to worry about and "Im too old for drama" is pretty much a line Ive heard a million times..they just want to let loose and have fun and be crazy and without stress or stuff bothering them, totally relaxed and lots of energy. I think as with everthing, it just depends on the guy.
quankanne Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 and they tend to be more open-minded ... if something comes up and you've got to cancel or re-schedule, they don't make a federal case out of it. More relaxed, too, IMO ...
sumdude Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I like guys around my age (26). I like someone that can keep up with me. . Actually, it probably wouldn't matter if I met a great guy who was 30. I just default to someone closer to my age. LOL here I am at 41 and few people any age can keep up with me.
stefspets Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 My fiance is four years older and maturity wise we are basically the same. It doesn't feel like there is an age difference at all. I think if they met a guy they really clicked with who was 5 years older it suddenly wouldn't be a big deal to them.
Isolde Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I'd date someone up to around 30 and I'm 23. My preference would probably be 26-28.
Trialbyfire Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 My fiance is 2.5 years older than I am. He's younger than my historically preferred target audience which is 5 to 10 years older, due to stage in life. To provide an example of stage in life, consider synchronized swimmers (). Their routines would be a glorious mess of bodies crashing into bodies, if they didn't all swim to the same drummer. Same goes with people in different stages in life. You'll find that if you're partnered with someone in a different stage in life, there will be repetitive conflicts in wants and needs, more often, than a partner who's naturally moving in the same or similar direction.
Sam Spade Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I'd date someone up to around 30 and I'm 23. My preference would probably be 26-28. Can we please raise that to 32 (and a half), eh? 2 years is hardly any age difference at all and beats me why anybody would expend any emotional energy even thinking about it upfront. This is the same as saying "i won't date anybody shorter than 6'5" . By the time OPs friends hit 30 their sense of what's important will change dramatically (one would think...). Also, forget older - my lower bound is waay more strict --> I would never date a girl younger than 25-26 (except isolde ), and the level of maturity of girls younger than that explains why.
bluewolf17 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Same thing goes for men. I couldn't really see dating someone more than two years younger than me. But yes, I guess age is similiar to height. You can't help it, and you get "dinged" for it due to everyones own taste.
bella16 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I'm only 23 and my bf is 30 years old.. I never saw a problem with it at all. Hes mature, and the most attractive man I've ever been with.
tigressA Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I've never dated a guy more than 2.5 years older. I'm 22. I admit to feeling weird about the idea of dating someone at least 4 years older than me, but like someone else said if I met someone I really clicked with then I likely wouldn't make a big deal about age difference.
bhweller Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I am 39, and I find that it is easy to attract girls in their 20's, but I don't actually want them. My ideal would be about 33 plus or minus 5 years.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Why do you try to fix your friends up with men that you know they aren't interested in just because you think they should be? I don't know. If we had a 25 year old guy and 30 year old women, everyone would understand why he wouldn't be going after her. I completely understand why a 25 year old woman thinks a 30 year old guy is too old. Been there myself. Age is a factor. Just like anything else in a relationship. It should be a factor. Because it's part of what makes us who we are. That doesn't mean that an older age makes you mature and a younger one makes you immature. But it doesn't mean that age doesn't dictate compatibility or uncompatiblity. While these men you know are ready for relationships, your gfs clearly aren't interested. And that's okay. Some women rather go through life experiences with a parter instead of being a few steps behind him on things he has already gone though himself. There is something very attractive about hitting milestones together and growing together as a couple.
tigressA Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 While these men you know are ready for relationships, your gfs clearly aren't interested. And that's okay. Some women rather go through life experiences with a parter instead of being a few steps behind him on things he has already gone though himself. There is something very attractive about hitting milestones together and growing together as a couple. I agree with this. This is why I feel weird about the idea of dating a guy 4+ years older.
CaliGuy Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Well speaking as one who typically dates women 10-15 years younger than him, she's missing out. But you can't tell people what they should like or not like. The simple fact (and one you have learned) is that for the most part, older men are more experienced, mature and responsible than younger guys.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 With all due respect, that's what all older men say because they want to in a way, market themselves the better sell but it's not really true. Younger women aren't missing out because they don't want to date older men. They will meet fabulous men their own age and go on to be quite happy. Not all older men are mature. I have seen plenty that aren't. Not all younger men are immature. I have seen plenty that could out do many older guys in maturity. The ideal for a youngre woman is to find a man her age who is mature, stable, responsible and has his head on his shoulders. There are problems either way you go, older men or younger men/men your age. They are usually a different set of problems depending on the age of the man but older men aren't better because of age. Especially in this day and age.
ReturnToSender Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 While my interest has mostly been with older men...I can say...age is not an indication of maturity, responsibility or even experience. All of it comes down to the individuals and the chemistry between them. Hitting milestones together and growing together at an even pace is romantic, but the reality is that we all grow and evolve as people within ourselves at our own rate. If only age was a 'checkpoint' where we instantly move from one phase of our lives to the next...its not that easy or simple though.
aerogurl87 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 So for the girls on here, do you prefer younger guys? same age? older? and why? Is it their personality...appearance....sex...? I prefer older guys because they usually have their head screwed on better. Most guys my age aren't interested in having a relationship, just in "dating around", and that's not what I want. For me it's not necessarily that older men have better personalities, look better, or are better at sex. It's just that intellectually and relationship wise they are usually on the same page as me. If I could find someone who was the same age as me who matched me good, I'd date them too. But for the most part, I'm generally more attracted to older men.
eiithan Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 For the time being (I am 25), my preference is around men in 28-29 group. Ever since my ex who was 4.5 years younger than me, who was mature in many ways but showed his definite immaturity in handling conflicts, I drew a line not to date men under 25 (exceptions can be made). I have no desire to be in a relationship with someone who would bolt when facing a difficult situation. Cannot say what would be my preference when I hit my 30th mark, probably somewhat less discriminating as I do now since men in my age group should have some experience in life and be humbled by it.
Thornton Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 The ideal for a youngre woman is to find a man her age who is mature, stable, responsible and has his head on his shoulders. I would add: and who wants to date her and not a younger model. At 20-25 I found that guys the same age as me were happy to date me. But now I'm looking at guys in the 30-35 range and finding that they also want to date the 20-25yo girls (usually to avoid the ticking biological clocks of women their own age), while 30-ish women such as myself seem to get hit on by 40-ish guys. Finding a good guy of the same age is much easier in your 20s when younger girls are barely legal and therefore undateable... once you hit 30 the younger girls are now mature enough to attract the guys in your age range, leaving you with the guys who are a decade or more your senior.
sumdude Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Some women rather go through life experiences with a parter instead of being a few steps behind him on things he has already gone though himself. There is something very attractive about hitting milestones together and growing together as a couple. Milestones of life have very little to do with age once you get a few years past 21. It's what you experience together that are milestones and they are mostly not age related. What are the major milestones in life are once you graduate from college? Career successes or changes. Additions or losses in your family. (can happen at any time) Health issues Marriage Having children Divorce (hopefully not but the odds are 50/50) Children passing milestones Age related milestones are set by arbitrary numbers. People age differently, you may live to be 45 or 100.. who knows? All of the women I've been in relationships so far with have been my age +/- a couple years. It would be interesting to date someone a little younger.
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