phineas Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 So a little update. Bankruptsy is a pain in the ass. But i've almost got all the paperwork complete. Then I can file & move forward with the divorce. The wife threw a pity-party for herself last night when she picked up the kids. My kid asked for a happy meal & she told him so I would hear that she didn't have money for that. I said nothing. Then she spent 5 minutes literally telling me about an argument she had with her father. blah,blah,blah, drama. Long story short their pissed at each other & now he won't watch the kids on fridays like he used to so "we" have to find a baby sitting soulution. We actually means "me" because most of her friends are not talking to her right now. I discovered she was putting my 1 yr old in my 3 yr olds booster seat & facing it forward. It had the 5 point harness but my little guy is too small & should be facing rearward. If she got in an accident his neck would snap facing forward like that. She didn't bother telling me she didn't have a proper seat for him. So I gave her mine to drive the little guy around & will buy her one today. WTF? I had to buy her diapers & wipes. I don't mind that at all. Their my kids & I will buy her anything she needs for them. Note I will buy it. Not give her money unless a court orders it. I know what she makes & I know what her expenses are in her apartment. My friend lives in the same complex & I know what he pays. She shouldn't be short of cash. I don't run short of cash. (but I come close) The reason is I just simply do without when it comes to me. If I got $100 till payday I'm not the type to spend it at a bar even if payday is the day after tomarrow. She is. What if the kids need something? What if something breaks on the house & I need to fix it ASAP? Oh and now she's e-mailing me at work to "talk" I ignroe her e-mails that don't pertain to the kids & only respond concerning the kids. She is still with OM. He's the love of her life. Her mirror image. She should be happy beyond belief. I fear she is testing the waters to see if i'd take her back. That could get ugly. On the upside i've been eating right & working out regularly with good results. I've lost about 20lbs of fat & gained maybe 5lbs of muscle since this mess started. I've gotten a lot of work done on my house also. i'll probably start repainting this week & trim out some windows. Buying some new clothes since my old shirts look like tents on me. Except for having to deal with the wife things are pretty good for me. I enjoy my few nights without the kids. So much so i've been spending most of it working on my house. cutting & routing trim. Cleaning, ect. If you got an image in your mind of Tom hanks cleaning his fridge at night cause he has nothing better to do flush it. I aint the single dad from a chick flick. I've got power tools baby.
quankanne Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 sounds like you're gonna be just fine, Phin ... esp. with the mention of power tools
Author phineas Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 sounds like you're gonna be just fine, Phin ... esp. with the mention of power tools It's only been about 2 1/2 months since I learned how far back my wifes affair went & decided to end it, but I had solid proof (the kind I could show people) of her affair for 6 months & knew she was up to no good 4 months before that. I had suspected for longer. I think the way I drew it out made it easier to move on when I finally found my nuts & strapped them back on.
lupa Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 It's only been about 2 1/2 months since I learned how far back my wifes affair went & decided to end it, but I had solid proof (the kind I could show people) of her affair for 6 months & knew she was up to no good 4 months before that. I had suspected for longer. I think the way I drew it out made it easier to move on when I finally found my nuts & strapped them back on. I'm glad you got your boys back, man. I almost missed the chance to get mine back, but something in my head forced me to do it, even though I was walking away. Feels good to take back parts of your life! It's awesome that you are doing house projects...I can't bring myself to do that yet. Too painful, because I bought the place for her. Never wanted to live there, never wanted that neighborhood, but she just fell in love with it, so I bought it. Wanna come help me at my place?
SRV Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 You will be fine. The biggest thing to take with you from this tenuous journey, is the lessons learnt - emotionally, financially, psychologically and socially. Bet you can write a thesis on any one of the aforementioned, plus you have learnt quickly who is in your corner. Good luck!
Author phineas Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 Lupa - I bought the house with the intent of renovating it before I even met her. All she did was help paint. Her name isn't on anything either so she isn't getting it. I think I stopped working on it because I was too depressed & I thought why should I make the place nicer for her? Now, since i've started having people over i'm finishing it up so I can just enjoy it.
seibert253 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Find yourself a good woman P, and you're good to go. Now that I look at it, sounds like you're there already.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 It sounds like you are getting there. Power tools = sweat = women. Have you ever noticed sometimes the dirtier and sweatier you get, the more attractive you are? As an auto enthusiast I spent a lot of time working on cars, many a day I came home greasy, dirty and sweaty, just wanting a shower, and the GF's would be all over me. Another pattern of female behavior I will never understand Yeah, take it from one who has been there, the ex will probably see you in a new light, and it can get ugly. Another shot of pain, no way you can prepare yourself, just ride it out.
Gunny376 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Bankruptsy is a pain in the ass. But i've almost got all the paperwork complete. Make sure you list the X as a creditor, because when you BK, the creditors with whom you didn't re-assert the debt with are going to come after her, and then she's going to come after you if you didn;t list her as a creditor, I'm assuming you're filing Capter 7. Seventy percent of those who file Chapter 13 file Chapter 7 within six months (under the old BK rules)
Author phineas Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Bankruptsy is a pain in the ass. But i've almost got all the paperwork complete. Make sure you list the X as a creditor, because when you BK, the creditors with whom you didn't re-assert the debt with are going to come after her, and then she's going to come after you if you didn;t list her as a creditor, I'm assuming you're filing Capter 7. Seventy percent of those who file Chapter 13 file Chapter 7 within six months (under the old BK rules) I'll have to ask my lawyer about that when I get all the paperwork together. Chaptor 7 is where i'm going. The marital debt is all in my name & I simply cannot pay it without her income. I just hope they don't take my washer. it's a front loader. I really like it.
silverfish Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Just get some paperwork to state the washer belongs to someone else (sell it to your brother for £5) They don't usually take household goods in the UK, not sure about the US.
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