paxchris Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I'm fairly new to this online dating thing and have a question. Do women act aloof when it comes to online dating before they've met someone, or is it just a sign their not sure if they really want to meet? A person I have been talking to seems interested in meeting, but it sometimes takes her 5 days to a week to respond, even though it shows that she is checking her messages frequently. It's confusing because when she does contact me she says she wants to get together, but making plans to meet seems to just be dragging out forever. Is this response time typical for dating sites, or is it perhaps a warning of disinterest/uncertainty on their end? I know there are plenty of other fish out there, just curious if this one is worth pursuing or not.
D-D Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 In my experience, I'd move on. If she was interested, she'd be replying within 24 hours. If she is on everyday and takes 5 days to reply, she isn't that interested in you. Don't waste anymore time messaging her. Nothing will come of it.
dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Sounds like she's using you for back up.
DSM2709 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 The main point you have to learn about online dating is this, and I've learned it and I am still learning: Your not the only person they are talking to or meeting. I always keep thinking that when I see someone I like online and I iniate contact and they respond, I think I'm the only one they are interested in, and that's just not true. It's a game and it all depends how much you can keep the person you like interested in staying interested in you. Good luck!!
monkey00 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I'm fairly new to this online dating thing and have a question. Do women act aloof when it comes to online dating before they've met someone, or is it just a sign their not sure if they really want to meet? A person I have been talking to seems interested in meeting, but it sometimes takes her 5 days to a week to respond, even though it shows that she is checking her messages frequently. It's confusing because when she does contact me she says she wants to get together, but making plans to meet seems to just be dragging out forever. Is this response time typical for dating sites, or is it perhaps a warning of disinterest/uncertainty on their end? I know there are plenty of other fish out there, just curious if this one is worth pursuing or not. If that is the case and she checks her messages frequently once every 5 days, I would guess that she's not that interested. Or she has a lot of prospects online (which usually is the case in online dating where a woman has an inbox full of emails from men) - so she is taking her time to respond to you. But I mean there are exceptions. If a woman is in the middle of travel/vacation and she is barely online, then that's a different story if she takes her time to respond. She barely knows you so she's not obligated to respond right away. Why don't you do the same and get in touch with multiple women online?
Thaddeus Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Women are avalanched with emails from men on dating sites. Now, I've been pretty lucky on some dating sites and met some wonderful, warm and attractive women. But all of them, without exception, have told me that they get scores, maybe hundreds, of emails from men a week. In the case of the OP, it's pretty clear (at least to me) that Dreamer is right: she's keeping your arrow in her quiver for back-up and may be in contact if a better prospect (in her mind, anyway) doesn't come along.
Rebellious Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 For US online dating is a waste of time, if you want some real women switch country to Sweden or any place in Europe.
whiteberry Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 maybe because she thinks that you might not like her... I mean physically...
Chicago_Guy Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 maybe because she thinks that you might not like her... I mean physically... You might be right, although I really don't understand this mentality. Why would a guy continue to spend time and money dating a girl if he wasn't attracted to her physically?
kizik Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Do women act aloof when it comes to online dating before they've met someone Yes. They correctly assume we are all creepy b*stards.
stepka Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 As a woman, if I'm really interested in meeting someone, I will email him back right away. No way would I wait 5 days--maybe once if I was out of town or something, but not consistently. Thaddeus, this stuff about women getting hundreds of letters every week really has me feeling like a dog. But maybe they're not being truthful. Any women on here get hundreds of responses a week? If so, what is your age? But, since I don't get avanlanches of mail every week, maybe that explains why I wouldn't let 5 days go by. Still, even those women must have men they're esp interested in.
BCCA Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 As a woman, if I'm really interested in meeting someone, I will email him back right away. No way would I wait 5 days--maybe once if I was out of town or something, but not consistently. Thaddeus, this stuff about women getting hundreds of letters every week really has me feeling like a dog. But maybe they're not being truthful. Any women on here get hundreds of responses a week? If so, what is your age? But, since I don't get avanlanches of mail every week, maybe that explains why I wouldn't let 5 days go by. Still, even those women must have men they're esp interested in. Hundreds may not be entirely accurate, but men litterally get 0, so I think the point being made is that no matter how awesome your email sounded, it probably wasnt the only one she got, so dont think that just because youre talking the other person isnt interested in anyone else. My guess is the age range women get the most email at is 21-25, because you attract the largest crowd of guys.
Author paxchris Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks for your responses. Well she texted me today saying that she was sorry it took her awhile to respond (again) and she wanted to know if I was free to meet up this week, and suggested that I pick a place for us to meet. She then sent another text a few hours later asking if I had gotten the texts she sent earlier, since I hadn't responded yet. WTF? Dreamergrl, maybe you hit the nail on the head...
kizik Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I wouldn't worry too much about one girl. There are literally hundreds more out there
Author paxchris Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Maybe she's a drinker? Hmm... interesting theory. Why do you say that, because of the sporadic communication?
monkey00 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks for your responses. Well she texted me today saying that she was sorry it took her awhile to respond (again) and she wanted to know if I was free to meet up this week, and suggested that I pick a place for us to meet. She then sent another text a few hours later asking if I had gotten the texts she sent earlier, since I hadn't responded yet. WTF? Dreamergrl, maybe you hit the nail on the head... It sounds to me like she's milking her options. There's probably a good chance she's hanging out with other guys during days that you aren't with her. I don't mean to discourage you with online dating and stuff but this is a common trait of women that you find on dating sites. But I mean it's all good, you should do the same..nothing wrong with that.
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