bitteorca Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Hi all, I have a history, check it out if you wish! My ex has belongings at my house that I want her to pick up. I have contacted her on facebook, to which I have had limited response. I just want her to collect the stuff so she can be COMPLETELY out my mind and I don't have to worry about when she will be getting it. Just want it over and done with I suppose! But I'm also cautious about contacting her too much. One side of me says, no don't contact her all the time about it, makes you seem like you're desperate for what must seem like a relatively minor thing (even though I've said I don't have to actually be there, so its not an excuse to see her); and another side of me says, I want her to get the stuff, so she can be out of my head forever, and if it takes me hassling her to get it done (because she obviously isn't doing it by herself) then so be it. I'm gonna tip the stuff if she isn't careful! What do you think? I wish relationships (and subsequent breakdowns!) weren't so complicated! another note to those who know about or have read my previous threads: I'm doing ok. I know its a cliche, but you do get over this with time. I was in the worst blackhole when this first happened. I couldn't contemplate post's from others who said that time heals etc but it is true. You just have to believe it, even only 10% at first, you just have to trust it! And also, go through the pain. It will help you heal properly. My ex is in a rebound, and I know that must make it 10 times easier for her. She's basically ignorning her emotions, shes admitted it. and I know because she hasn't dealt with it properly it will hit her one day, who knows when, but people have to go through the sh*t before they can clamber out of it! I obviously still have feelings for her, but they lessen with every day that passes. How can you love someone who isn't there for you? you're delusional and desperate if you can! Thanks
Exit Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I'm sure you can figure out some way to BRING it to her. Leave it on her doorstep and get it out of your life so you can stop waiting for her. You might feel like it's not your responsibility to take care of her things for her, and it's not, but it will benefit your own healing.
Author bitteorca Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 well i did think about this, and you're right, i thought why should i do that for her? if she cant be bothered, then i'll tip it and it'll be her fault. why should i waste petrol on taking it to her? and she did say in a kind of sharp way 'if you're that desperate to get rid of it then bring it to my house, im sure somebody will be in' as if it was my respnsibility, which puts me off doing it even more. but then again, you're right that it would help me personally. ah, im not sure
NopeNah Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 A guy I know just caught his wife cheating. He gave her a week to get all of her stuff from their home. She was told she could "have EVERYTHING"! These are all items he bought that she wanted.(wealthy guy, prenup, ect..) He left town during that week. Came home and the only things she took were her clothes. Movers were called and all "her" belongings were placed in storage. She has until months end to collect them herself or they're gone. If anything..she's leaving them there to have a reason to contact at a later time. Give her one last call/text with a final date before the stuff hits the trash.
phineas Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Yep. Tell her if she doesn't pick it up it's getting tossed. I am giving my soon to be ex-wife little bits at a time to take with her when she drops off or picks up kids. Legally I can't throw her stuff out until we are divorced or she has been out of the house for a yr & even then the lawyer said it would make me look like a jerk to the judge so I have to deal with it for now.
Author bitteorca Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 so you think i should give it till the weekend and if she hasn't contacted me on fb i should give her a call and tell her? I haven't called or spoken to her in a good while :S
freestyle Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I think it`s time for an ultimatum.Pick a date,tell her she`s got til then to get it out of the house. Tell her she can pick it up from the curb any time after that. Draw your line in the sand. She`s either doing this to piss you off, or to keep a foot in the door. Either way it`s disrespectful.
Author bitteorca Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 yeah, or just pure laziness! but like you said, I'm not having the p*ss taken out of me. i'll give her till the end of this week to get it, and then...I can't be held responsible for my actions
freestyle Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Hey everybody! Garage sale at bitteorca`s house!!!!!!!!!! starting Monday!
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