BobSacamento Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Long story short - I didn't want to appear shallow but I am.
JustLooking123 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I agree that he shouldn't have mislead you, and I agree that exchanging pics first is always a good idea...I felt compelled to comment about your nasty tone! Having a birthmark, regardless the size and location, is not quite the same as being "disfigured." Are you really grossed out by such a thing? You've lived a sheltered life. Sure, he was in the wrong too, but he's not on here looking for validation. Grow up and get over yourself.
Hkizzle Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I think you are being shallow. What? Why? Sorry but people have standards in terms of looks as well. People should disclose how they truly look like so the other person can make an accurate assessment or not if they want to get involved. If we changed this and this was a person's personality and that person mislead someone over their personality that's called deception.
Hkizzle Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I think it helps to evaluate dating criteria in terms of "what if it happened part way through the relationship...?" So what if you had a relationship with this guy, and after 6 years he was in an accident that left him with burn-marks over 3/4 of his face... Would he still have criteria that meant it was worth staying with him...? . What people accept well into the relationship and what they can accept at the beginning are different. Hell there are women that can't even accept bad breath at the start, but can put up with abuse later on.
Jaytb Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 if you don't like what you see, then don't date him. that simple. He didn't lie to you or mislead you. If anything, just make sure to get a pic next time. If no pic, then no date. simple stuff.
Thornton Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I can understand why the OP reacted how she did, given that she wasn't expecting to see a large birthmark and it was rather a shock. Something like that should really be disclosed in advance when internet dating, as should any other physical issues that might put people off. However I can also understand why the guy didn't disclose it in advance - he's probably been rejected for that reason several times, so now he chooses not to exchange photos in the hope that the girl will have an opportunity to like him as a person and the birthmark will seem less important. Let this be a lesson to you - anyone who doesn't want to exchange photos probably has something to hide. My initial concern on meeting such a person would be that if we had a serious relationship our children might inherit the birthmark, but I looked it up on Google and it doesn't appear to be hereditary in most cases. In that case I might overlook it if I really loved the person, although I'd want to find out more information and verify that it's definitely not hereditary before I'd consider having children with him.
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