ATR Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 ATR, Can you explain what was pathetic? And no, she is not seeing me out of pitty. She left because I was being an ASS! I've changed since then, being away from her maybe me see myself and how I was...that's how I realized that the break-up was indeed my own doing. It was I that didn't deserve her, but she saw the efforts I've made, she feels reassured of my true love for her and that is why we are seeing each other again. A break-up is the result of someone's actions or lack of. Getting dumped because you behaved like a fool is every reason to stay in contact and changed yourself for the better, not only for your lover, but for you aswell. Then, if that person see's how you've changed and really love them, then your home free...cause they did not dump you for another person, they did not dump you for a lack of love...but because I acted stupid and she just had enough...it was that simple. But I agree that if you got dumped for another guy...then by all means my friend NC all the way cause she betrayed your trust. Obsessing over a person is pathetic (calling/texting them 24/7 begging), it shows that you NEED to have that person in your life to be happy - which is extremely unhealthy. Dumping you over the reason that you were a "fool" is extremely selfish. If she really loved do you not think that she would have let you known about how you were upsetting her and would have helped you change for the better of the relationship. Instead she just thought "**** it, cant be bothered to make this work"? Also are you 150% that there is noone else in the picture as this is usually nearlly always the case. Best of luck man. ATR
Author Angelo_28 Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 ATR, Ok I see, I understand what your saying. She did several times over the 3 years that we were together to try and make me understand. Many times we argued and she tried to make me understand what I was doing...but being the lil stubborn guy that I am...I didn't listen. It's not that she didn't love me anymore...the fact that she stayed around for so long durring my ignorance is a mystery lol...but I understand your point, but as you can see now...it's not the situation you think it is. And yes I'm sure sure it's not someone else, she still loves me...she never stopped. But she had to leave to open my eyes...and now I see clearly. I wasn't obsessed...and in my opinion, it's not pathetic to tell someone how you truely feel, but yes I do NEED her...she's my everything and as much as what she did hurt, she did that out of love. She left so that I can realize what I had to do, to really understand my wrong and make it right again. To me...that was the most selfless act she could of ever done to prove that she loves me...and she told me that. She told me it was the hardess thing to let me go...she still cries about it, but were both happy that I "woke-up" thus were talking again Thanks. Angelo
PuertoRican Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Even though I have alrady said 85% of the stuff you told me to say to my ex, the next time he calls me i will say it all again for the last time. I just wanted to hear what you had to say about my situation because you have seen the good and bad of a breakup. Once again, thank you and I wish you the best in the future!
PinkToes Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 but yes I do NEED her...she's my everything. This is a really, really bad thing. It isn't healthy, and it isn't a good way to build a long-term relationship. Never mind that it's bound to be frustrating for you; it's WAY too much pressure to put on another person. I'm happy for you that you're communicating again, but please take it slow. And my earlier advice still stands: Assume nothing! Good luck.
Author Angelo_28 Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Pinktoes, lol...I could live a happy life without her, but I love her. And when you love, you want, desire, crave, pursue..etc and need to have that person around. It's like Barry White said..."She's my first, my last...my everything." I assume nothing, but I am certain in my heart that were meant to be together...slow and easy does it sweetie but soon enough Thanks. Angelo
PinkToes Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Ahhh..... I feel my usually well-controlled cynicism seeping out for a moment, because I'm guessing that most of us posting on this board believed we were meant to be with our exes. The toughest breakup I ever experienced was with such a person, and the funny thing was, he believed it also, for a time. We talked about that a lot. Then he left. Now I realize that we were perhaps meant to be together for a time, but not forever. In your case, I sincerely hope you're an exception, and that your instincts are better than the rest of us!
Exit Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Ahhh..... I feel my usually well-controlled cynicism seeping out for a moment You're not the only one feeling uneasy about this situation. Angelo you're clearly head over heels for her again already and nobody is trying to burst your bubble, we are all happy for you, but you need to guard your heart and realize that she left you once. She wants to take baby steps and you are going along with that in terms of contacting her and hanging out, but internally your feelings are running at FULL SPEED towards her, you aren't taking baby steps with your feelings. Just be careful.
Author Angelo_28 Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Pinktoes & Exit, You guys are absolutely right...I guess I am letting my feelings go warp speed ahead lol. And yes she did leave me once...because she had no choice, I was blinded by my own actions and rotten behavior that that was the only way I was gonna wake up. So I'm letting things play out naturally, but I'm confidant that things will go nicely. She gave me a wake-up call today lol I can't wait to see her tonight... Thanks Angelo
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