aaronno9 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Well, ive read one step to help getting over a break up is talking about it, so I thought id put my thoughts down here. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][sIZE=2][COLOR=black] I was with my girlfriend for 3 and half years. We started going out on my 18th birthday, and she was the first girl ive been in a serious relationship with. At first it was amazing. Best period of my life by a long shot, and im pretty sure it was the same for her. We'd spend every day together, and where totally in love. Anyways, the last 6 months ish of our relationship was not a good place for either of us. I just wasnt as commited as I was for the first 2-2 and half years. I used to make plans with her, then pull out a the last minute to hang out with friends ect. pretty frequently. I still loved her alot, and I know she still loved me becouse she wouldnt break up with me. But I really treat her poorly, which I regret hugely now. Where both 21, shes almost 22, but after school I took the college/universtiy root and she went straight into work. So shes alot more mature and has more of a sense of the real world than me. She frequently hinted at stuff like looking for a place together and getting engaged, but I was never interested. So, 2 months ago we broke up. I ended it, becouse it was to hard for me seeing how much I was bringing her down not being able to fully commit. For the first month, we hardly spoke and just went our seperate ways. We only live 15 minutes apart, but we just didnt run into each other. I wasnt that phased by the break up - it was hard, but I thought it was what I wanted and for the best. I was wrong. After about a month, we started talking over the internet and texting again. We hung out a few times, and I think we both realised we'd made a mistake breaking up. Then she met a new guy who was interested in her. This was 3 weeks ago today. Im not going to lie, hes alot better looking than me, and has alot more going for him at the moment with a good job ect. She told me she'd been talking to him and they where getting close, but shed cooled it with him becouse she still wanted to be with me, and she wanted to talk to me about our relationship. So I went to her house, and I messed up big time. I just didnt really talk and just lay there. In the end I made an exuse and left. Massive mistake. She text me later that night telling me she just wanted to be friends. Im fairly sure at this point she started talking to the other guy alot more. Now I know she wanted to get back with me. She instigated everything when we started hanging out again, and im pretty sure if I asked her to get back together 2 weeks ago, shed of said yes. So that day I messed up at her house was saturday last week. On Tuesday I decided to man up, tell her how I felt and just ask her to get back with me. She said she needed time to think, becouse she didnt want to risk going back to how she felt at the end of our reltationship. Shes always been very honest with me, but I know she went out with the other guy on monday so I dont no if her exuse was legit, or it was becouse of him. So on saturday (yesturday) we met up and went for a walk. In the end she told me she didnt want to get back together, but she really wants me to stay in her life as a friend. Its litterally broken me. I had a feeling she was going to say no on Thursday, and I havent eaten a thing since, and had barely any sleep. Its 20x worse than I felt when we actually broke up, its made me physically ill and i cant stop crying. Its far and away the worst feeling ive ever experianced. One of the main problems in our relationship was that we both really struggle to talk about our feelings and emotions. She gave me one last shot to tell her how I felt last week, and I totally blew it. Ive spoke to her again today, and she says she wants to make a go out it with this other dude, but she still wants me in her life, and still wants to hang out whenever we can, and she still loves me. Its hard for me to accept that shes moved on in the space of two weeks after wanting to get back with me, and thats another thing making the break up so hard. The time we spent together after the break up really made me realise how much I love her, and at the moment I just cant see my future without her in it. But I know ive had my chance and blown it. Ive told her exacly how I feel now - but shes set on her new relationship, which I can accept. Ive made all the usual mistakes, emails and texts ect, but ive realised now that the more I try to win her back, the further I push her away. I just want her to be happy now. Im constantly telling myself this other dudes just a rebound, or one day shes going to realise that she still wants to be with me, but I cant say I fully believe it. Ive just got to man up and get over it now. Anyways. It feels good to get that off my chest. Like I said, im not one for emotional talks, so ive not really told any of my family or friends what im going through, just that me and the girl have gone our seperate ways and thats that. Hopefully my story will serve as a warning to anybody in a similar situation. You dont know what you've got, until you loose it. And when you do. Well, lets just say these past few days have been the worst of my life. And ive had some bad days. [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT][/FONT]
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