john1988 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Been on this forum for around 6 months now. I find these posts extremely saddening but strangely comforting aswell I guess, just to know I'm not suffering alone. I feel really disheartened by my own experience and I find it almost impossible to see myself meeting someone anytime soon. I've not met anybody yet I would like to date over a year after my split mainly because I keep picking ridiculous faults. I'm also terrified of using a girl as a rebound and hurting them, it's like a vicious circle, I'm very conscious about other people's feelings now when I wasn't in the past, does anyone feel the same? I'm starting to think I'm maybe destined to be alone, I've lost faith in relationships, things used to come so naturally now find myself over analyzing everything- I hate it. Any advice would be welcome.
logitech Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I feel the same as all is still fresh in my mind. The trouble is we need to find it in ourselves to do what makes us happy. We can try to make the other party happy but again we will never truly know how they feel regardless of what they tell us. I was out the other night with a group of guys and seeing people trying to hook up etc almost made me feel ill. I guess in the end we just need enough time and to take things slow. Meet people and accept them for who they are. What else can we do??
RedDevil66 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Hi, the pains of love/relationship is one of the most intense pains. I've lost faith in love and relationships as well Over analyzing is not healthy and I do it to the extreme as well. Tell me about your past relationships?
Tayla Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 As the saying goes, Once bit, twice shy. Makes sense. Gives a person time to re-evaluate and also to re-commit to the concept that there are good relationships out there. When I get in a rut and wonder if I am destined to be single ( which is absolutely A-OK with me)...I am reminded by my boss and his wife of 20 years just how there really are GOOD and HEALTHY relationships. They truly compliment each other. So Dispair not! As in anything in life, take courtship in moderation. The Key is to be okay either way.
jaybird1043 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I know the feeling...I broke up about a month and half ago, I still think about her constantly! I do really good and then something happens and I get miserable all over again. The feeling of going out with someone else sickens me, I keep thinking I will never meet someone like her. The only thing is that besides being gorgeous there was not too much else there, so maybe its better I do not find someone like her again, Just remember, we are all in the same boat as much as it feels like you are all alone! BTW, sunday nights are the worse!!!
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 john, when LS starts affecting how you view the world, it's time for a break from it. Perhaps it's time to start dating casually and putting more time towards moving on in your life.
Beeotch Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Perhaps you need to find a new way of viewing your situation....kind of like having the choice between seeing a glass as half full or half empty. I used to be down and scared about new relationships thinking that might as well not bother as he will eventually break up with me, or we will fall out of love etc.. And now I don't think that way anymore. I realize what is the point of being scared, worried and thinking I am destined to be alone? I do not want to think that into existence. Breaking up as I have realized is NOT the end of the world. I see people dying, happy couples giving birth to deathly ill children and all these horrible things and I realize: I still have life, health, I am intelligent, attractive and life is not that bad. I CAN go on. Many people before me have broken up and are fine and so shall it be for me. I had to make the choice to start living again and see things positively. You should try to rearrange your outlook and see how it works.
soheartbroken Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I feel the same way. LS gets me down sometimes too (so much infidelity!), but it helps me to feel not so alone in my suffering...double-edged sword. I'm also super picky and I don't think I'll find anyone as good as my ex. It sucks, big time. And yes, I'm hypersensitive to other people's feelings. I don't think that's such a bad thing though; it makes you more empathetic.
Sbrizio Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 ...I find these posts extremely saddening but strangely comforting aswell I guess, just to know I'm not suffering alone. I feel really disheartened by my own experience and I find it almost impossible to see myself meeting someone anytime soon.. ...does anyone feel the same? I'm starting to think I'm maybe destined to be alone, I've lost faith in relationships, things used to come so naturally now find myself over analyzing everything- I hate it. Any advice would be welcome. Hello there, same feelings here. I am scared i'd not able anymore to regain a connection as the one i had with my ex, i fear that i would be impossible to find another person who match so good with me, and, as well as you, i'm thinking that maybe i'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. I think we should be reassured somewhat by the fact that everyone here feels pretty much the same.. kind of a natural reaction of our mind to the hurt we had. My approach as of now is to really try to focus on the "day by day", getting the best out of each day. Of course it still remains quite hard to go through the days. As of LS, for the time being i try to avoid to read the posts which could set me back (people who just broke-up, people who pine, people who hope in a 2nd chance, etc), but i read/participate in the threads of people who are coping in a contructive way...working on themselves. I definitely want my ex to regret her choice. In a month, or in a year, or in a lifetime, i want her to look back and say: "i've made the biggest mistake of my life". That's my push as of now. Probably this will too subside, when i'll reach the indifference stage... but at the moment, that's my daily focus. I wish you all to be strong. We got to get out of here.
Author john1988 Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 Hi, the pains of love/relationship is one of the most intense pains. I've lost faith in love and relationships as well Over analyzing is not healthy and I do it to the extreme as well. Tell me about your past relationships? It's just really the previous one that was particularly bad, she broke up with me, was stringing me along for months until she found someone better, in the mean time I was showering her with gifts then she became verbally abusive towards myself and family out of nowhere really, failed to turn up to arranged meetings all until I decided enough was enough, It was a real eye opener for me I'd never experienced anything like it before.
Recommended Posts