yah Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I met up with a guy I met over the internet (first time ever!!) for coffee last night. I was really nervous and it totally showed. When I walked in, he gave me a slight (one arm) hug. I couldn't even look him in the eye for the first 30mins. It got better later on but I can't say I was totally myself, though. We spent about 1.5hr there talking about work, music, food, etc. As soon as we got up, I got all nervous again (ugh!). We walked out the door, I pretty much said goodbye and left (we came separately). We don't have a lot in common but I find him very interesting. At the suggestion of a friend, I sent him a text message acknowledging the awkwardness and said I'd love to hang out again. I'm wondering.... is he going to even call? It's only been a few hours but I hate waiting and wondering!
Brady_to_Moss Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Only time will tell..did you feel any chemistry at all?
Author yah Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 There was eye contact but it wasn't sexual or anything. I remember thinking "hey, he's cute and really friendly/caring." However, everytime there was eye contact, I looked away after 2 seconds. Looking back, I shouldn't have....
serialdating Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I usually wait a few days before calling back somebody I really like... so don't worry if you don't get any call tonight!
Author yah Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 ...even if they sent you a text message the day afterwards? I find it very discouraging that he did not reply to that.
dunstable Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 The fact that he did not reply, like a shot, to your text message saying you would like to hang out again almost certainly means he is not interested. What came over to me from your message was an extreme shyness and lack of displayed warmth. I remember one blind date when we kissed on the cheek on first meeting, and she right away pulled me back to her and said "You have to kiss me on the other cheek too" and we kissed again on the other cheek. I'm sure you can imagine how warm that made me feel towards her. (It didn't work out because she didn't like me but I thought that was a great opening move on her part!!!). My suggestion to you is look the other person in the eye, ask lots of questions about them, and be as touchy/feely as you can be in a natural way. Ask me if you have any concerns about these suggestions.
JustLooking123 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I'm curious what exactly you said in the text to acknowledge the awkwardness? Time will tell. Some nervousness on the first date is normal. He was probably nervous too.
Author yah Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 The text message stated "I had fun last night - despite the awkwardness - I'd love to hang out with you again. -<insert name>" During the date I also said 'I'm sorry! I'm really nervous".. we laughed about that, he was super-nice and tried to make it less nervous for me and the conversation flowed more easily after that. But I was still not completely, 100% myself. How long before I should deem this a lost cause? haha
callingyouuu Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I think that's the dangerous part of recognizing an awkward situation. It sometimes heightens the possibility that following situations will also be awkward. I think you could have just left the text at just "I had fun last night - I'd love to hang out with you again". It doesn't matter now, anyway. Ball is in his court; don't worry about it!
Brady_to_Moss Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Yeah i dont think you will be getting a call back if he didnt respond to your txt...sorry..but keep your head up
monkey00 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I think the best thing to do now is wait and see what happens.
BobSacamento Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 How can acknowledging awkwardness of helped you? Next time only mention the positives instead of the negatives. The best you can hope for is that he doesn't take it as HE was being awkward. That's how it comes off.
Hkizzle Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Go do something that preoccupies your mind. You've said your thing, if he wants you he will contact you, if he doesn't and you chase him it gets worse.
mortensorchid Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 If I were you, I would have waited at least until the next day to send someone a text. Quite honestly if someone called / texted me within hours of meeting someone, it would put me off. But, update us as to what happens.
Author yah Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 Thanks for all the comments. I totally know the ball is in court but I'm just wondering what he must be thinking or how a guy's mind works. I'm not going to call him - that's desperation! oh, the text was sent the next day. Date on Sat. night, text was Sunday afternoon when I woke up.
aerogurl87 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Thanks for all the comments. I totally know the ball is in court but I'm just wondering what he must be thinking or how a guy's mind works. I'm not going to call him - that's desperation! oh, the text was sent the next day. Date on Sat. night, text was Sunday afternoon when I woke up. Hmm, ok well I read your posts and I hate to say it but I'm leaning towards him not being interested. I mean it takes like 2 seconds to text someone back, and on a Sunday (when 90% of people don't work and take a "lazy day") I'm sure he could've texted you back by now. But I may be wrong, who knows, wait it out and see. But if he doesn't call or text within a few days then I'd definitely say he's not interested.
Author yah Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 update: he texted back last night asking what we should do on the 2nd date. since he waited 12hrs to reply, im going to delay my response some! heh.
loveslife Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 update: he texted back last night asking what we should do on the 2nd date. since he waited 12hrs to reply, im going to delay my response some! heh. Ahh, the games people play. Don't forget the 10% rule. Wait at least 10% longer to reply than he took. And since it's text, write at least 10% less than he did. But seriously folks.... Sounds like he's a little lazy. If he's going to ask you out shouldn't he have a suggestion or a plan? I know you crazy kids today have your own way of doing things, but I think he should have suggested something and then let you choose.
torranceshipman Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I bet you he waited to text you back because 'you shouldn't look too keen' blah blah...I'd speed up the communications a bit if I were you! Don't worry about not looking too keen - just be yourself...let us know how date no 2 goes!
Chicago_Guy Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 The fact that he did not reply, like a shot, to your text message saying you would like to hang out again almost certainly means he is not interested. Actually, I wouldn't assume that not responding to a text message right away means he isn't interested. I don't always have my cell phone in my pocket, so sometimes I might not even realize I received a text message until the next day. I cannot be the only person who doesn't have his cell phone within an arm's reach at all times.
Author yah Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 UPDATE: 2nd date went really well. We went to D&B and had non-stop conversation, zero awkwardness and a lot of fun! Afterwards, he showed me his apartment and I listened to him play some guitar. Date ended with a kiss. =) I am NOT contacting him first this time. I'll just sit back and let him do the chasing now. (haha) If he's interested, which I really think he is, he'll call in 2-3 days, right?
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