curious911 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Hey everyone, I’m 20 years old, male, and new to the forums. I’ve been having difficulty with trying to figure out what to do about this girl. I’m in college, I had a party at my apartment on Friday where probably about 50 people showed up. This girl that I met last year but don’t know real well was there and I caught her looking at me a couple times from across the room, she came over and we had a normal chat. She encouraged me to go out to the bar after the party and I decided to go. I got there and when she noticed me we danced until the end, hooked up the whole night, and shared a cab but I didn’t ask her back to my place because I didn’t want this to be a one time fling and she also had to work early. She offered to pay her share of the cab ride but I insisted she didn’t and I paid for both of us. Earlier at the bar I had mentioned that I wanted her number and she said I could get it off one of our mutual friends, but at the end of the cab ride she asked me for my number and told me that she would text me again this weekend coming up because she’s going out to my hometown to party and hoped that I would be there. I found that odd because earlier she didn’t give me her number but then afterwards she had asked for mine, and she texted me probably 10 minutes after she got dropped off home and said thanks for the fun night. I was always attracted to this girl and I’m not sure what to do, she works and goes to school fulltime and my school workload is pretty time consuming as well, but I’d really like to get to know her more, I’m just worried that maybe the signs are pointing to that she just wants to hook up. I’m not sure when to text her, what to say when I text her, but I’d really like to get to know her more and I’ve thought about her a lot over the past couple days. I heard she plays hard to get but moreso in terms of hard to get into bed right away which is not really what I’m interested in right away anyway. She’s academically smart and well rounded, and seems to be interested in things I’m interested in. Can anyone offer any advice? I tried to keep this post short and to the point but it came out a little long. Sorry about that, but I hope someone takes the time to read it over.
dunstable Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 You said you didn't have her number but then said she texted you so it seems you have her number indirectly so can reply. If she interests you, call her and set up some more meetings. I don't understand what is troubling you. Maybe you would like to clarify what exactly is the issue on your mind?
Author curious911 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Well just the fact that she told me she would text me on Friday makes me feel like she just wants to hook up at the bar, and I'm not sure if she wants to hear from me sooner or not. Thanks for the quick response also.
dunstable Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 So you are suspicious because she seems eager to get to know you better? I would take that as a compliment and follow up with her. If she has values different to yours (e.g. she is promiscuous) surely you will be able to discern that on the next date?
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I concur with dunstable - there's really no way to tell WHAT this girl is after until you spend more time with her. If she tries to get in your pants (lol...I can't believe a guy is resisting this) and that's not what you want, you can simply tell her you're not like that and not get together with her again.
Isolde Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 It's quite possible that she's interested. Why don't you text back and forth a bit as the next week unfolds?
letinmotion Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 You are acting like a woman. First off... Sex is bonding for women.. Why do you think most women dont give it up right away? Develop some rapport keep the attraction and remember that YOU are the catch. Dont make yourself too available and most important... Have fun. You are making way too big of a deal out of this and its just another fish in the sea. Just some girl. Guys who often worry too much about one girl end up pushing her away. Chill my dude. Have fun.
Author curious911 Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 Thanks everybody. I like the positive and negative comments that you all offer. Criticism is definitely a positive thing for me. The biggest problem I'm having is finding that balance between showing interest while not looking too interested/creepy. It isn't like I exactly hound on people so it's probably moreso that I don't show enough interest sometimes, but maybe that isn't a bad thing I'm not sure. I'll see how far I can go with this and hopefully I'll get to know her better.
Author curious911 Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 Going to bump this thread again and hopefully get some more insight. The past ~2ish weeks have gone relatively well but have only included drinking together on weekends and some text messaging every couple of days. My question now is how do you try to transition this from just going out at bars to actually having some one-on-one time. I feel like I have gotten to know her over the past few weekends but it'd be nice to know that she likes me when I'm sober too. I feel an attraction to her and I feel I've been taking things at a slow pace ( maybe too slow? ) Also still not sure if this is all she wants or not. At this point how often should I be trying to contact them? Any good 'first date' ideas?
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