Dating a black guy...

[Island Girl]

Some white men do abandon their babies. There are still a lot of men who would get involved with such women. However, the vast majority of white men would not seriously get involved with a white woman who had black children.

 

And who needs them??

[In_Repair]

While they continue to hide away, as if what they are doing is something to be ashamed of, it allows others to believe (erroneously) that their position of intolerance is correct, that it is shameful (translate bad), since they remain unchallenged.

 

What challenges and changes these racist views are the people who stand up proudly and say:

"My decision, my life, like it or not. I am not ashamed nor will I be of making my own choice for my own happiness in MY life. Accept it or don't - that is YOUR problem."

 

 

That's easy to say... unless you have experienced it first hand. One of my ex wife's white friends went to visit her black boyfriend one day, and she had the **** beat out of her ON HER BOYFRIENDS FRONT PORCH by three black girls. The reason? They were tired of "you white bitches coming around here stealing OUR men". One of the three black girls that I was talking about earlier, she has been labeled a sellout by all of her black friends, some of which she has worked with for years, simply for making the statement that she was through dating black men. It's one thing to be all brave and bold with your interracial relationships when the only penalty is a few awkward stares and an occasional bad remark... but it's a whole different story when your safety is at sake.

[Chicago_Guy]

And who needs them??

 

You must be out of your mind if you dispute what I wrote. I don't know where you grew up, so maybe you never experienced racism from the black community. However, I can tell you that in most parts of America, no white man in his right mind would want to seriously get involved with a white girl who has black kids.

[Island Girl]

That's easy to say... unless you have experienced it first hand. One of my ex wife's white friends went to visit her black boyfriend one day, and she had the **** beat out of her ON HER BOYFRIENDS FRONT PORCH by three black girls. The reason? They were tired of "you white bitches coming around here stealing OUR men". One of the three black girls that I was talking about earlier, she has been labeled a sellout by all of her black friends, some of which she has worked with for years, simply for making the statement that she was through dating black men. It's one thing to be all brave and bold with your interracial relationships when the only penalty is a few awkward stares and an occasional bad remark... but it's a whole different story when your safety is at sake.

 

I do suffer with more than a few awkward stares etc -- in fact I don't get awkward stares and everyone (strangers and those who know him alike) loves my husband. They adore him as a matter of fact and welcome him wherever he goes.

 

My battle is with my 75 year old mother who has caused problems where she has the ability to do so.

So, although I haven't ever had anything physical like that happen I face opposition constantly and always have for the last 20+ years with my mother whom I am extremely close with.

 

Again, that kind of negative action happens where you are -- and I'd ask what part of the country you are in. Because it just wouldn't happen on the West Coast or at least I have never had any experience like that in 7 states out here.

So while I am sure those kinds of attitudes still exist it is not as it was 30 years ago and it will change even more in the next 30 years.

 

Those girls actions are deplorable, criminal, and prosecutable. I hope they did have charges pressed against them.

[Island Girl]

You must be out of your mind if you dispute what I wrote. I don't know where you grew up, so maybe you never experienced racism from the black community. However, I can tell you that in most parts of America, no white man in his right mind would want to seriously get involved with a white girl who has black kids.

 

Again, who cares??? Who needs to date them and their bigoted racist attitudes??

[Chicago_Guy]

Again, who cares??? Who needs to date them and their bigoted racist attitudes??

 

I guess you are correct. 95% of the white community wouldn't want to date a skank like that anyway, so it would work out well.

[JohnP82]

I guess you are correct. 95% of the white community wouldn't want to date a skank like that anyway, so it would work out well.

 

So she's a skank because she had a child with a black guy?

[Island Girl]

I guess you are correct. 95% of the white community wouldn't want to date a skank like that anyway, so it would work out well.

 

So now the truth comes out. You would believe that anyone who dates, has relations with and becomes pregnant by a man of another race (specifically of course African American - now why is that again??) is a "skank".

 

That says more about YOU than anything else. :lmao:

 

And your inaccurate but quite obvious assumption of 95% is laughable to say the least.

 

From where I sit you have quite a problem but I'm sure you won't address it and prefer instead to attempt at putting that small mindedness upon others. Too bad that MOST understand this is YOUR problem and will not pick up your burdensome load.

 

CHEERS!!

[Kamille]

Some white men do abandon their babies. There are still a lot of men who would get involved with such women. However, the vast majority of white men would not seriously get involved with a white woman who had black children.

 

 

:lmao:

You seriously believe that?

Then I guess one of my friend's husband must be a very progressive, caring and loving man to get involved with her and her mixed-race child from a previous marriage. Oh no wait: she's hot, she's great and the kid is amazing.

But go on, keep yourself deluded into thinking your are the voice of white men everywhere. I'm going to go hug my friend and her husband now, for reminding me there are humans capable of seeing past racist ideologies.

[JohnP82]

That's easy to say... unless you have experienced it first hand. One of my ex wife's white friends went to visit her black boyfriend one day, and she had the **** beat out of her ON HER BOYFRIENDS FRONT PORCH by three black girls. The reason? They were tired of "you white bitches coming around here stealing OUR men". One of the three black girls that I was talking about earlier, she has been labeled a sellout by all of her black friends, some of which she has worked with for years, simply for making the statement that she was through dating black men. It's one thing to be all brave and bold with your interracial relationships when the only penalty is a few awkward stares and an occasional bad remark... but it's a whole different story when your safety is at sake.

 

Wow, maybe that says more about who you hang out with and where you hang out. I've never heard of violence breaking out because of who you date, unless you count stories from the 1960s. I grew up in the south in one of the largest cities in the country. In my close group of friends, 12 or so people, every single relationship is interracial. Maybe that says more about us though. We're well educated, try not to judge others, come from great families, have goals, etc.

[Island Girl]

:lmao:

You seriously believe that?

Then I guess one of my friend's husband must be a very progressive, caring and loving man to get involved with her and her mixed-race child from a previous marriage. Oh no wait: she's hot, she's great and the kid is amazing.

But go on, keep yourself deluded into thinking your are the voice of white men everywhere. I'm going to go hug my friend and her husband now, for reminding me there are humans capable of seeing past racist ideologies.

 

EXACTLY!! How come even in the face of the ever changing world around them some people still think they speak for the majority.

 

Wow, maybe that says more about who you hang out with and where you hang out. I've never heard of violence breaking out because of who you date, unless you count stories from the 1960s. I grew up in the south in one of the largest cities in the country. In my close group of friends, 12 or so people, every single relationship is interracial. Maybe that says more about us though. We're well educated, try not to judge others, come from great families, have goals, etc.

 

I have the same experience growing up in a mid-size city in the West and even living in various parts of this same side of the US.

 

In college there were interracial couples everywhere - and I do mean everywhere - in this was 15 years ago now.

 

I lived for a short time on the East Coast - specifically NJ and I got to be really good friends with several in my office. Four of those women were married and two were interracial couples (specifically African American and Caucasian).

I have never even heard comments toward them (even when they were not present).

I at the time was single and Caucasian so it could have been well assumed I might harbor ill feelings about it but that was never the case.

 

I have never seen violence or anything even close to it in relation to myself or anyone else.

 

And even now, when people find out my husband is Pacific Islander, they are more interested in his country, their culture, and profess that they LOVE the islands and how great the people always are - they say "oh you have to bring him in we'd LOVE to meet him!" and then they proceed to invite us to anything and everything going on in their world.

I would hardly call that being shunned!

[In_Repair]

Who I hang out with? I don't hang out with the girls who beat up my wife's friend, and neither did her boyfriend. I have also never spent any time with the women who have verbally abused and threatened the black woman who dates white men. So... WTF are you talking about? The women I spoke of knowing personally are all educated and well paid professionals.

 

Now my circle of black male friends... for the most part, they are a bunch of thugs and the majority of them have served time. Yeah, it's a fairly rough crowd. What's interesting is that the ones who have made something of themselves, like my two really good black buddies, respect women in general, not just a certain color of women. The thugs though, they screw every white woman they can get their hands on, and then they make fun of them and actually look down on them somewhat for doing it. The color of their skin isn't the issue, it's their upbringing. The thugs grew up with the ghetto mentality and are master manipulators who use people and then **** on them. The other guys were raised in homes where they were taught to respect a mans actions, not his appearance. Which is further proof that we are dealing with a cultural issue, and not a racial issue.

[espec10001]

We should all try and remember that the color of someone's skin is only the suit they wear in this lifetime. It's the same as a wardrobe. There is nothing wrong with interracial relationships and I actually find them beautiful and pioneering. If two people love each other then it doesn't matter the color of their skin, but what kind of person they are.

[MissJoness]

Why is this always about black men and white women?? I am so sick of these two groups

[silic0ntoad]

Why is this always about black men and white women?? I am so sick of these two groups

 

I have to agree. Honestly, I think it's a predisposed fear some white men have about racial stigmas placed by society on the black male. Funniest part? White people started the rumor about Black Slave Males having huge junk to make women afraid to sleep with them.

 

As far as white women/black men goes, there is also the social stigma mainly placed by the porn industry on interracial sex. It's a huge fallacy, since it isn't like that IRL. That industry paints black men to be abusers and thugs who like to gang out white hoes who rub it into their white counterparts faces.

 

Hardly realistic if you ask me.

[Island Girl]

Why is this always about black men and white women?? I am so sick of these two groups

 

I agree. As I have pointed out numerous times in this thread this racism tends to always be about that -- and there are others of us in relationships that are interracial as well. Just not these specifically.

 

But a lot of posters keep focusing on black and white. :rolleyes:

[silic0ntoad]

I agree. As I have pointed out numerous times in this thread this racism tends to always be about that -- and there are others of us in relationships that are interracial as well. Just not these specifically.

 

But a lot of posters keep focusing on black and white. :rolleyes:

 

You also have to understand though that this is what the media is focusing on. Think about it. Whenever something comes up in the news, it's about black male/white woman. Look at the stigma put there! Any time it's about interracial relations it's black man/white woman. It's never Asian/puerto rican, thai/black, etc. The media and other sources seriously influence these thought patterns.

[Island Girl]

You also have to understand though that this is what the media is focusing on. Think about it. Whenever something comes up in the news, it's about black male/white woman. Look at the stigma put there! Any time it's about interracial relations it's black man/white woman. It's never Asian/puerto rican, thai/black, etc. The media and other sources seriously influence these thought patterns.

 

I see they keep propagating the idea but don't we as individuals make up our own minds?

 

It is all just ridiculous and so ignorant.

[TwinkletOes26]

:sick::sick:A man is a man is a man is a man IS A MUGGA FRICKIN MAN just like any other man. The way some people think about race sickens me. Jeeze...i mean i know other places have race issues but america seems to be the worst. No progress hardly it seems. I mean in tv in england you see an interracial couple it just is here there has to be a dang story line an after school special about it.

 

I have friends who have asked me "whats it like dating a white male" good grief just like dating a black male. A MAN IS A MAN IS A MAN tis all.

 

~grabs green tea,fuzzy slippers and leave thread~

[Island Girl]

:sick::sick:A man is a man is a man is a man IS A MUGGA FRICKIN MAN just like any other man. The way some people think about race sickens me. Jeeze...i mean i know other places have race issues but america seems to be the worst. No progress hardly it seems. I mean in tv in england you see an interracial couple it just is here there has to be a dang story line an after school special about it.

 

I have friends who have asked me "whats it like dating a white male" good grief just like dating a black male. A MAN IS A MAN IS A MAN tis all.

 

~grabs green tea,fuzzy slippers and leave thread~

 

I wholeheartedly concur.

 

~ And the "after school special" line was hilarious.

 

CHEERS!

[LovieDove24]

Wow you guys I've been gone for two days and the thread took off! I'm glad that everyone seems to be able to discuss this matter with a level of maturity. Anyways, to touch base what a couple of you had asked...my friend asked if I was complicating things SOLELY based on the fact that he was black. I told her his name (which is a very common name in the African American community) and she asked if he was black. I said yes and that was when she said her comment.

[wuggle]

I can say it is lowering the overall intelligence of a population.

 

you are a very silly man

[In_Repair]

As for the comments about these discussions always centering around black and white... that's the interracial dynamic that most of us have been exposed to. The only other interracial couples that I know personally are a black man/asian woman and a black man/middle eastern woman, but I know lots of black/white couples. I don't have any friends of any race other than white, black, and hispanic. It's not by choice, it's just how it is. Those are the groups that make up a very very large portion of my local population. So... where the hell would I get off speaking about racial dynamics that I know nothing about on a personal level?

[Island Girl]

As for the comments about these discussions always centering around black and white... that's the interracial dynamic that most of us have been exposed to. The only other interracial couples that I know personally are a black man/asian woman and a black man/middle eastern woman, but I know lots of black/white couples. I don't have any friends of any race other than white, black, and hispanic. It's not by choice, it's just how it is. Those are the groups that make up a very very large portion of my local population. So... where the hell would I get off speaking about racial dynamics that I know nothing about on a personal level?

 

And the media's focus on the Caucasian/African American dynamic...?

 

That would come from where exactly?

 

Just because you see that dynamic does not mean the same way of thinking extends to those couples who are interracial but include different races in their dynamic?

 

To me, the attitude is simply indicative of the larger problem and acknowledge that it is a broad spectrum of prejudice not simply a black and white issue. No pun intended.

[In_Repair]

And the media's focus on the Caucasian/African American dynamic...?

 

That would come from where exactly?

 

Just because you see that dynamic does not mean the same way of thinking extends to those couples who are interracial but include different races in their dynamic?

 

To me, the attitude is simply indicative of the larger problem and acknowledge that it is a broad spectrum of prejudice not simply a black and white issue. No pun intended.

 

The focus of the media? The American media? Do you honestly have to ask why the emphasis is on black/white? Ever take an American history class?

 

I can't speak for the media, as I am not in the media. I spoke for myself, and my own experiences. I think that was pretty much the point I made in my last post, if you would actually read the lines and not what you imagine to be between them.

 

Your black husband isn't from this country right? That explains a lot of your picture book perfect experiences. Again, it's more of a cultural issue than a racial issue.

 

** Not to be a total ass... but if that prejudice remark was towards me, then go to hell. If that's the argument that you default to, then you are probably one of the apologist boot lickers that the majority of black people have no real respect for, and make fun of when your back is turned. After that, I'm done here.