Dating a black guy...

[wuggle]

Any racially mixed relationship is gonna have issues

 

still not getting it :rolleyes:

[anne1707]

Here I go again jumping in on a thread Wuggle is on. Not casting any opinions but wanted to direct posters to this site (Harvard so I would like to think reputable) which has various tests for studying prejudice across a whole range of areas - race, gender, weight, sexuality.....

 

You just might surprise yourself!

 

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/takeatest.html

[stepka]

I know what the OP meant I was kind of hoping that sarcasm might help illuminate what I saw as a self evident point. There IS no black and white !!

 

Look at some of the language on this thread :-

 

"dating a black guy"

"heck I'm attracted to some of Them too"

"I don't like it when white girls date black guys"

"their huge ding dongs"

"you weren't going after quality men"

 

There's more but I won't labour the point. It's 2009 , what f**king difference does it make. Even from people who profess NOT to be racists there is still the undertone that IT is an issue, whilst I am not niave enough to think that IT isn't an issue day to day in our society, I was hoping that the OP might see the hint of a deeper truth in what I was saying, maybe what keeps making IT an issue is that we still think of IT as an issue.

 

What makes a person racists ? what makes society racist ? - fear passed down from generation to generation. Our parents pass on thier fear of the unknown to us. They install the fear in us from day zero, the idea of them and us, I know mine did, still do, most of my family still uses the 'N' word.

 

CB, even you sort of propogate the issue, you refer to "african American men of descent" , what the f**k does that mean ??. There is no black, white , yellow, pink whatever, there is no country either. Look back at ANYONES heritage and what do you find, at best a sort of browny, pinky, fuzzy mixed country parentage.

 

If one of your friends is racist, feel sorry for them, it's not all their fault, it is a hangover from their parents. If they are a good friend try to educate them, if not, if they won't grow up then ignore them. A 'man' with no friends soon learns to re-evaluate his outlook on things.

 

Sorry for the lecture CB, it isn't aimed at you, I'm just hoping the OP will get a fresh perspective. In this day and age race, and nationality REALLY aren't issues, the only thing keeping them as such is our own fears.

Wug, I esp value your perspective b/c you're from outside the US, and it seems our attitudes towards race here are esp unhealthy--I don't see it so much from Europeans, so we need to know how silly we sound sometimes.

 

It's not true that racist parents will make you racist though--my parents were really bad and my dad went around singing "Poor Martin's gone and dead" when Martin Luther King was killed--I told him how wrong he was at the time but he didn't care and his racism never rubbed off on me. He was from Kansas City--not exactly the south. If I wanted to, I dated a brown man, and my folks sure hated that, but I didn't do it to spite them.

[Island Girl]

I know what the OP meant I was kind of hoping that sarcasm might help illuminate what I saw as a self evident point. There IS no black and white !!

 

Look at some of the language on this thread :-

 

"dating a black guy"

"heck I'm attracted to some of Them too"

"I don't like it when white girls date black guys"

"their huge ding dongs"

"you weren't going after quality men"

 

There's more but I won't labour the point. It's 2009 , what f**king difference does it make. Even from people who profess NOT to be racists there is still the undertone that IT is an issue, whilst I am not niave enough to think that IT isn't an issue day to day in our society, I was hoping that the OP might see the hint of a deeper truth in what I was saying, maybe what keeps making IT an issue is that we still think of IT as an issue.

 

Absolutely correct -- and by the way --- I love you so much right now!

 

What makes a person racists ? what makes society racist ? - fear passed down from generation to generation. Our parents pass on thier fear of the unknown to us. They install the fear in us from day zero, the idea of them and us, I know mine did, still do, most of my family still uses the 'N' word.

 

I would say fear and blind hatred as well. Just passed down and taught from generation to generation.

Thankfully even then there are those who will not be spoon fed their opinions and make up their own minds so even those pockets of ignorance are seeing fewer and fewer numbers.

 

I am so glad I did not grow up hearing the 'N' word at all.

Not even my mom - which is why I found it so surprising that she had a problem with the first non-Caucasian guy I dated.

I hadn't been raised to differentiate when it came to anything else based on someone's color so it was a shock that all of a sudden she had a problem with someone based on race.

 

CB, even you sort of propogate the issue, you refer to "african American men of descent" , what the f**k does that mean ??. There is no black, white , yellow, pink whatever, there is no country either. Look back at ANYONES heritage and what do you find, at best a sort of browny, pinky, fuzzy mixed country parentage.

 

I can't wait for the day when race isn't used as a descriptor.

 

If one of your friends is racist, feel sorry for them, it's not all their fault, it is a hangover from their parents. If they are a good friend try to educate them, if not, if they won't grow up then ignore them. A 'man' with no friends soon learns to re-evaluate his outlook on things.

 

Exactly. And silence when something is said is acceptance or even agreement.

 

In this day and age race, and nationality REALLY aren't issues, the only thing keeping them as such is our own fears.

 

Again - love love love wuggs. :bunny:

[allina]

Any racially mixed relationship is gonna have issues and problems

 

WTF.

 

Mine hasn't so your generalization is incorrect.

[Chrome Barracuda]

still not getting it :rolleyes:

 

 

LOL you will!!!

[allina]

LOL you will!!!

 

Niiiiiiiiiice

[Chrome Barracuda]

If your self conscious maybe you'd notice it but where im from it does happen. Trust me you cannot be so blissfully unaware that you can not ignore it.

 

I'm glad you guys can go on in your lives that your at peace with the outside world but ya'll gonna be getting the looks and subtle racisms just you wait! lol.

[Island Girl]

Any racially mixed relationship is gonna have issues and problems especially from the outside.

 

You say "especially from the outside" so from you view there would be problems relating to race between the two people IN the relationship.

What would those be?

 

And what problems do they face from the outside?

 

 

People are always gonna judge it and look at it.

 

I'd say people judge and look at a lot of things - that doesn't mean we should acknowledge or change based on their opinions.

In fact, the more we tell them to go screw themselves and live THEIR lives instead of trying to run anyone else's we will ALL be much better off.

 

And CB, not always...not always.

[wuggle]

LOL you will!!!

 

I meant you !!! , I get it. I have been subject to racism all my life, it was the norm where I grew up. I was taught by my parents, siblings, friends and schools to be racist. I know the langauge, I know the fear, I know the stupidity.

 

Island Girl - I am guessing in about 2 - 4 more generations when all the visual indicators have become so fuzzy that people really will realise the stupidity of labelling a person based on 'apparent' race , then the labels will dissapear, probably to be replaced with others , maybe based on langauge skills or 'apparent' class.

 

Humans being human , there probably always has to be a 'them and us', sad, but maybe that is how we define ourselves

[allina]

If your self conscious maybe you'd notice it but where im from it does happen. Trust me you cannot be so blissfully unaware that you can not ignore it.

 

I'm glad you guys can go on in your lives that your at peace with the outside world but ya'll gonna be getting the looks and subtle racisms just you wait! lol.

 

It's so common here that I honestly don't think people care. If anyone does then too bad. Our families have no issue with us, which is what matters

 

I'm sad to see that you feel this way. I hope that you experience things in your life that will change your mind.

[Chrome Barracuda]

You say "especially from the outside" so from you view there would be problems relating to race between the two people IN the relationship.

What would those be?

 

And what problems do they face from the outside?

 

 

 

 

I'd say people judge and look at a lot of things - that doesn't mean we should acknowledge or change based on their opinions.

In fact, the more we tell them to go screw themselves and live THEIR lives instead of trying to run anyone else's we will ALL be much better off.

 

And CB, not always...not always.

 

Well sometimes their gonna be cultural and racial differences that are apparent when the man and the woman get together, verbage and upbringings. I mean there are gonna be differences.

 

The outside problems Ive seen are alot of black women be hating on it. Especially if we're in public. I notice the stares and the whispers and the calls oyut sellout and white girl fuc***. lol. It happened before which was sad, but alas it did happen. Funny alot of white dudes wouldnt care unless she was pretty. lmao.

 

But that's my perception i could be wrong.

[dunstable]

We are all descendants of a common ancestor in Africa tens of thousands of years ago. Pigmentation differences are due to where our ancient ancestors lived on the globe during the various human migrations. Remember the common relationship and forget about the superficial differences.

[Chrome Barracuda]

We are all descendants of a common ancestor in Africa tens of thousands of years ago. Pigmentation differences are due to where our ancient ancestors lived on the globe during the various human migrations. Remember the common relationship and forget about the superficial differences.

 

 

...This came totally out of left field but I get the gist of it...

[dunstable]

...This came totally out of left field but I get the gist of it...

Good for you! I'm heartened. Thanks for the positive response.

[wuggle]

We are all descendants of a common ancestor in Africa tens of thousands of years ago. Pigmentation differences are due to where our ancient ancestors lived on the globe during the various human migrations. Remember the common relationship and forget about the superficial differences.

 

I think she was called Sue, or was it Shola, or was it Siyanda...damn I can't remember

[dunstable]

I think she was called Sue, or was it Shola, or was it Siyanda...damn I can't remember

Wuggle, I've read enough of your posts to think that you are just being facetious in the above. I will reply if you want to make a substantive point.

[Island Girl]

i think thats a bunch of baloney. 98% of people marry their own race

 

I love you Alpha but that is sooo not true.

 

In 1967 any laws banning interracial marriage were overturned. (Yes, some states still had laws prohibiting interracial marriage just 42 years ago.)

 

In 1970 there were 65,000 marriages involving African-Americans and Whites (sorry wuggle it bothers me too but this statistic is directly related to this specific mix only).

 

In 2005 that number was 422,000.

 

Interracial marriages (of any race combination) amounted to only 2 percent of couples in 1970.

 

In 2005 that number was up to 7 percent of 59 million marriages. That is 4,130,000.

So from illegal in some states and not prevalent at all to over 4 million in 40 years.

 

Of course these are just numbers in the US.

 

Also according to the US Census of married couples in 1990 only 3.5 of Whites were interracial and 5.8 of African-Americans.

Interestingly enough Asian and Pacific Islanders came in at 28.7% and "other" came in at 23.2% but American Indian, Eskimo, and Aleut had the largest margin of interracial marriages at 70.6%.

 

Wow right??

[dunstable]

Islandgirl, I didn;t quite follow your statistics but if there is a trend to more interracial marriages, I think that's good because the more mixing of the genes the more vitality in the resulting offspring. In other words, inbreeding bad, outbreeding good (as a generalization).

[wuggle]

Wuggle, I've read enough of your posts to think that you are just being facetious in the above. I will reply if you want to make a substantive point.

 

Whilst I am not above using sarcasm to highlight my points In this instance I was actually not being facetious, I was actually trying to back up your point about the 'original' origin of mankind and the total stupidity of labels based on race and nationality by pointing out the langauge and naming conventions used by society. The first name being a 'typical' western name, the last being a traditional african name meaning "we grow" or "we are growing"

 

I don't know, even when I'm not being an ars* people assume I am. I just can't win :rolleyes: I'm going to bed, school day tomorrow.

[Javelin]

Who you decide to befriend, date, or marry is your own choice regardless of what religion, nationality, or heritage you or your partner comes from.

 

That said, if you're still so shallow to take the color of one's skin into consideration based off someone else's views (like a parent) then perhaps it'd be better if you were all born color blind. Then what you see would not matter and your feeble mind wouldn't be hindered by the gift of sight.

[dunstable]

Whilst I am not above using sarcasm to highlight my points In this instance I was actually not being facetious, I was actually trying to back up your point about the 'original' origin of mankind and the total stupidity of labels based on race and nationality by pointing out the langauge and naming conventions used by society. The first name being a 'typical' western name, the last being a traditional african name meaning "we grow" or "we are growing"

 

I don't know, even when I'm not being an ars* people assume I am. I just can't win :rolleyes: I'm going to bed, school day tomorrow.

Wuggle, my heart-felt apologies. I truly didn't realize you were supporting my point. You were too subtle for me. But I felt from your posts on other threads we could not be too far apart. Forgive?

[wuggle]

Forgive?

 

Always !, it's good to talk, argue and discuss. much better than assuming:)

 

off to bed...

[Island Girl]

Islandgirl, I didn;t quite follow your statistics but if there is a trend to more interracial marriages, I think that's good because the more mixing of the genes the more vitality in the resulting offspring. In other words, inbreeding bad, outbreeding good (as a generalization).

 

Basically in 1967, in the US, there were still states that outlawed interracial marriages and a Federal law was passed that made any such State law null and void.

 

Three years later there were a documented 65,000 interracial marriages (this specific number reflects White and Black couples only).

 

Thirty-five years later (2005) White and Black interracial married couples were up to 422,000 so that is quite a jump even in that particular combination.

 

In 2005 interracial marriages of any racial combination grew to 4+ million couples.

With an added note that races other than White and Black have much, much higher percentages of their population going outside of their own race for marriage.

 

So interracial relationships and marriages are becoming more prevalent but at a higher percentage in other races than within the White and Black populace.

 

*** I would venture to say there are far FAR more interracial couples in relationships (a number that is steadily growing) because as we all know only a small percentage of relationships actually result in marriage.

 

I hope I explained myself better this time.

[dunstable]

Thanks, Island Girl, your statistics are now perfectly clear to me.

 

I welcome this trend to increased mixing of races in the USA. I think racism is totally ridiculous.

 

If my next remark offends anyone, I am sorry, but I think to differentiate between people based on skin pigmentation is something only the most ignorant and uneducated people do. The fact that such prejudices still exist makes me really angry. Not so much angry towards the people with the prejudices but towards the educational systems that allow the prejudices to persist.