New_life Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Hi all again, well I broke up with my ex 6 months ago since she lied to me and was very distant (after 4 years). I begged her back 2 days afterwards, she said lets take a break. I know I was stupid to break her, she clinged to that, and ended up with what she wanted. She did a 360, she had changed so cruelly the last months of our relationship. Started hanging with new friends, lost alot of weight and started being arrogant. My friends have told me that when people loose weight they change like that. Is this true?? Anyway, cant believe after everything I did for her she let me go soo quickly. Now, I have broke all the rules on NC. The longest has been 9 days, I have cried like I have never cried in my life. I think about her every 5 minutes. Anyway heres the thing: she tells me to take things slowly, that she cant take me back like before, loves me but isnt IN LOVE with me,,, wtf?? But she says has the same feelings for someone else at the same time. And doesnt know who she wants, that she cant let me go. So I feel Im in this competition for her, battling with this new guy (who is the total bad ass jerk and pimp). I mean I cant believe this! What do I do I want her back sooo much, eventhough I know she isnt good enough for me?? I have a 50% chance, is this fair?? I NEED A SLAP in my face!
WiseOne1 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Yes people do change when they become attractive or at lest more attractive, I know from past experience, in a galaxy far away, I had a ex become more attractive and she got the big head and wanted to go date around. Sadly she began to gain weight, about a extra 250lbs, and those same dudes didn't want her anymore and then she wanted me back and I was like "hell no". With a different ex, "my last ex", I battled for her, just like your doing right now, her ex came back out of the blue after being gone for 9 months str8!! He just disappeared and stopped calling completely, without any notice!!! He was also a "drug dealer/pimp", so she was so confused and didn't know who she wanted and says she choose me, so I'm thinking I WON!! Personally I think he just left again, but she swears she choose me over him. I could never forgive her, and arguments always broke out about that issue, because I couldn't believe that she let that "no good, jerk" come in between our relationship. So now we never talk, we were friends for 5 years before we dated, and dated for a 1 year and 6 months. The point is, it depends on who makes mistakes first, and if this other guy even cares enough to try that hard, he might just want some ass, but not want to work that hard for it, so he might give up. However, expect her to side with everything he says.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I would drop her, where's your sense of pride??? She is basically cheating on you and wanting you to accept it! To YOUR face! Why are you putting up with her? And dont give me I love her crap! dude she sounds mad immature. And when a woman basically says I love you, but not in love with you! It's over, you might as well end it there. There's no coming back from that. it takes a strong woman to admit she was wrong and wants to be your girlfriend after that phrase, but 90% of the time. She's leaving and doesnt even care. Drop the a-hole and find someone else. She's conceited, a deceiver and cheating right in your face? good god man! WTF? Are you gonna put up with that?
Beeotch Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I would suggest moving yourself from this competition.... She can be confused and undecided as much as she wants...but YOU should remove yourself from it and not try to compete for her. I think she is playing aorund...she told you she wasn't inlove with you anymore, now she's saying ohhh she doesn't know who to choose. You explained she made some physical changes and is now arrogant...well this could very well be a part of this change in personality. She is probably being very narcissistic and arrogant and feels she is the greatest thing since, men should compete for her, she doesn't know who to choose so you can chase her and make her feel great etc.... DON'T! Seems the only person she cares about right now is herself. There is only room for her and her inflated ego....so as much as you will feel bad, leave her ALONE and maintain No Contact! You are going to feel upset, sad, lonely, etc....just like chemotherapy has side effects...but in the end it gets rid of the cancer. Same with NC. It is a process and it can be difficult but in the end it helps. As I always say: relationships are between 2 INDIVIDUALS who are imperfect. Being INDIVIDUALS we have our own stress, strains and issues to deal with that have NOTHING to do with our significant others...however, they get caught up in it by association. It doesn't make us bad people sometimes...but it is hard to see that. So you have to sometimes let these people go through their own thing and leave it alone. If she wants to act like this....that's fine....but you don't have to be pulled along.
Author New_life Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Yes people do change when they become attractive or at lest more attractive, I know from past experience, in a galaxy far away, I had a ex become more attractive and she got the big head and wanted to go date around. Sadly she began to gain weight, about a extra 250lbs, and those same dudes didn't want her anymore and then she wanted me back and I was like "hell no". With a different ex, "my last ex", I battled for her, just like your doing right now, her ex came back out of the blue after being gone for 9 months str8!! He just disappeared and stopped calling completely, without any notice!!! He was also a "drug dealer/pimp", so she was so confused and didn't know who she wanted and says she choose me, so I'm thinking I WON!! Personally I think he just left again, but she swears she choose me over him. I could never forgive her, and arguments always broke out about that issue, because I couldn't believe that she let that "no good, jerk" come in between our relationship. So now we never talk, we were friends for 5 years before we dated, and dated for a 1 year and 6 months. The point is, it depends on who makes mistakes first, and if this other guy even cares enough to try that hard, he might just want some ass, but not want to work that hard for it, so he might give up. However, expect her to side with everything he says. That is it to me, I feel so mad that she has me competing for this jerk who is older and definition of the bad boy. Was it hard to stop talking to her? Im sure it was, but what did you do? Never broke NC??
Author New_life Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 I would drop her, where's your sense of pride??? ? Thanks I trully need this, Im in this hole and keep digging. I dont even know if this is love or just pain from rejection
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Then stop diggin and start living, life is too short to be miserable over one chick who loved you before when she was fat and now is the town slut because she think she's the S*it. Bottom line, you better run away and dont look back. First thing is cutting off all forms of communication with her. Going NC. Staying away from any talk of her between mutual friends Your life and future is paramount not hers. The more you detach from the situation the better off you will become.
Author New_life Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 [/b]Seems the only person she cares about right now is herself. There is only room for her and her inflated ego....so as much as you will feel bad, leave her ALONE and maintain No Contact! You are going to feel upset, sad, lonely, etc....just like chemotherapy has side effects...but in the end it gets rid of the cancer. Same with NC. It is a process and it can be difficult but in the end it helps. . I know she is so egocentric. ALways asking me if she is thin, etc. I cant believe my first love, whom I helped in really tough times changes like this. She calls me today for breakfast, I say no since I had something to do. And start telling her how sad I am, and miss her, etc. She was basically saying booooring... I was crying, and still nothing. Told her I loved her, but cant take it anymore and said goodbye. Her answer ok take care, bye. She trully has killed every shred of kindness I have, I said goodbye leaving her like a queen! ANyway thanks for the answers I just wish better days came,
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Why are you in competition with a scumbag bum anyways? That is laughable! lol. Your better than that, you can do much better than that. Reminds me of the story of lil wayne, nivea, and the dream. Nivea was married to the dream left him for little wayne, and now she's pregnant with wayne's baby. but the dream rebounded nicely getting with that chick christina milian who's ten times way better looking than nivea EVER was, straight dime piece! And the funny thing is wayne already got 5 girls pregnant the same time frame he was banging nivea. So she's probably feeling not so special because she got knocked up by a gremilin! Take this real life parallel and be happy. You can do better.
Author New_life Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 chrome thanks, I look into that story.. I know its bad to wish this but I hope she gets fat and sees how everyone starts parting away. Meanwhile I hope Ill be with someone better. It just sucks, this feeling to being a loser and her choosing someone else and taking into trash our 4 years. Anyway thanks those words will be kept in my head chrome.
You'reasian Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 chrome thanks, I look into that story.. I know its bad to wish this but I hope she gets fat and sees how everyone starts parting away. Meanwhile I hope Ill be with someone better. It just sucks, this feeling to being a loser and her choosing someone else and taking into trash our 4 years. Anyway thanks those words will be kept in my head chrome. Move on. Cut contact. She's free to date as she chooses, for whatever reason she likes - considering your response, you need to pick better women, my friend.
BeSteady Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 chrome thanks, I look into that story.. I know its bad to wish this but I hope she gets fat and sees how everyone starts parting away. Meanwhile I hope Ill be with someone better. It just sucks, this feeling to being a loser and her choosing someone else and taking into trash our 4 years. Anyway thanks those words will be kept in my head chrome. And if you do bump into her just say with a smile "Oh I am glad you put a few extra pounds back on, you were to thin. Have a good day"
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Why worry about if she gains a few pounds she's already ugly on the inside! lol.
john1988 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Similar thing happened to me she was the ugly duckling turned swan, then she started getting attention and thinking she was brilliant. Don't fight for a bitch like that, someone once said to me on here that my ex and the new guy were probably laughing at me for being the sad act begging for her back. Once I heard that it sickened me and I never spoke to her again, don't make her head even bigger she doesnt deserve it walk away and concentrate on someone who does.
WiseOne1 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Why are you in competition with a scumbag bum anyways? That is laughable! lol. Your better than that, you can do much better than that. Reminds me of the story of lil wayne, nivea, and the dream. Nivea was married to the dream left him for little wayne, and now she's pregnant with wayne's baby. but the dream rebounded nicely getting with that chick christina milian who's ten times way better looking than nivea EVER was, straight dime piece! And the funny thing is wayne already got 5 girls pregnant the same time frame he was banging nivea. So she's probably feeling not so special because she got knocked up by a gremilin! Take this real life parallel and be happy. You can do better. Defintely agree chrome, although Christina Millian is wayy hotter than halfway ever chick in entertainment, she still burned "The Dream" she was crying and making diss songs against "Nick Cannon" while dating the dream, bassically she was disrepecting "The Dream", because she wasn't over Nick Cannon, and which Nick Cannon left her for Mariah Carey. So "The Dream" kinda got Nick Cannons left overs, and he was choosen secondary as "back burner". Anyways, don't do what I did, just move on, because even if you do win, the relationship will never be the same again.
jaybird1043 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Seems you have the same mentally as a lot of people...someone is better than no one. The only problem is look at what you are putting yourself through. As much as is sucks, no one is better...Sometimes the right thing and the hardest thing to do are the same.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 If I was him id rather be alone than to be with a woman like her!!! Aint that much good coochie in the world that would make me stay with someone like this. And wiseone, so chirstina was blazing mad about nick cannon, she was dating that producer at the time, she finally got over it. I mean her and dream make a great looking young couple. I think it might last for a long time. Besides nick cannon and mariah carey IDK it might not last. not to throw salt in their game but i never saw mariah with a guy like him. Looks like she can break him in half if you get my drift. lol.
WiseOne1 Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 If I was him id rather be alone than to be with a woman like her!!! Aint that much good coochie in the world that would make me stay with someone like this. And wiseone, so chirstina was blazing mad about nick cannon, she was dating that producer at the time, she finally got over it. I mean her and dream make a great looking young couple. I think it might last for a long time. Besides nick cannon and mariah carey IDK it might not last. not to throw salt in their game but i never saw mariah with a guy like him. Looks like she can break him in half if you get my drift. lol. Lol I agree.
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