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My Ex First Love Sending Mixed Messeges


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I'm an 18 year old male at a military college with the world at his feet but would give up it all for this one girl. I have never been unfaithful in the least and am generally a good guy. But this is one situation I cannot tackle. Please read below and tell me what all of this means. If you need more detail into us I am willing to share, all you have to do is ask.

 

Before the summer ended I felt like I had to do something, anything, just to reach out. So I drew her a picture of a broken heart surrounded by inside jokes and next to it a needle and with the words "time and space" on them. I wrapped the picture in a army green shirt with a picture of a bear, hence my name, with some insanely great smelling cologne sprayed on.

 

Through sms she told me:

- how she almost wishes I didn't do that

- she cannot stop thinking about me, and last Dec

 

She sent me an email reading:

 

"i don't know when you'll read this or if it'll be relevant when you do read it but I need you to hear me out.

 

i got a call from my mom saying there was a package with my name on it. and I knew it was from you. I was away but for that entire week I knew it was from you and I couldn't wait to open it.

 

the drawing and shirt at first was sweet, very sweet. made me smile, reminded me of a lot of things I chose to forget. and the shirt was sweet. smelled like you. and then BAM. this is what my brain was like.. do I keep this? where the hell do I put this? do I call? do I text? no voice mail will be ok. I think at least. do I not do anything?

 

that leads to.. wow he smells great. I miss that. god how I miss that. let me cut off my oxygen supply so I can smell this shirt for the rest of my life. oh wait even better lets wear it. yeah lets put it on and smell it throughout the day. awesome idea *Her Name* you are brilliant. seriously. see fits perfectly. boobs are cute this is great. this won't backfire at all and I wont

 

later that night.. I miss him.

 

i don't know if you know this but missing you is no good. its like the package was like "hey do you miss brian? oh you do do you? HERE YOU GO. GO CRAZY. think about the good old days. remember nice. yeah think about that. he's dating someone and so are you but forget that think about him"

 

i spoke to *A Mutual Friend* about it and I found myself trying to ask about you. found myself getting jealous when she said something about you getting with another girl. I don't need that I don't want that. I'm happy with jeremy. and you just sneak into my life again. I can't keep doing this. we're out of eachothers life. every couple of months we can't just make up an excuse to talk to each other and reflect on the old times and surface the feelings we had.. or have. its not healthy for me. and for you. you moved on so have i. you're always going to keep a place in my heart, always always. and even in 50 years I'll remember you with a smile. but for now we need to stop."

 

noice will forever be mine <<<(inside joke pertaining to the ownership of words)

*Her Name*

 

I told her that I can't say I didn't see this coming and that I hope she does well in school and goodbye. She sent me one last email

 

dinner? four years from today. 8:00. you pick the place.

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