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He doesn't know how much I love him


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I am quite miserable these days. I have taken myself off the market, I am not looking online or in real life because I can't stand all the crazies and weirdos out there. I can't take another heartbreak or disappointment, I've been burned so many times. I look out at all the seemingly happy couples (at least on the surface, in public places that is) and can't help but feel a pang of jealousy about people I don't even know. And then ...

 

Earlier this year, I had a fling with someone. He's my friend, and that's all he is. I made a mistake though, at least, I think I did. I'm in love with him. He doesn't know. I wonder if he cares all that much, or if he even realizes, because he's quite the playboy here in town.

 

I'm not a fool. I would never TELL him I love him because I don't / won't embarrass myself like that and face rejection. Every moment I love being with him. I don't know if he ever senses that I love him, even a little. I occupy my time with other things, but I hate those lonely nights.

 

Anyone else know what it's like? Just thought I would share ...

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