So_Sick78 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Eight years ago, I met an amazing guy. We was my best friend and after a month I knew he was the one. Four years later "the one" has a 5 month fling and had a baby with someone else, we broke up for a month and got back together. A year later we got engaged, planned a wedding, which got called off, but we stayed together. Then this year he decides to move back home to another province, moving was a decision made I was told not asked how I felt about it. I didn't want to quit my job and move with him, so we agreed that I'd stay behind and join him two months later when I could get a transfer (he was moving in with his 'rents and working for his dad, he had a plan). 10 days after he left he called me screaming that we were done and I alone broke our realtionship (he was drunk), he also said some very nasty and hurtful things. I called the next day to talk to him and he said he was done that chapter was closed. So I said ok, and that we can't be friends, I was too heart broken. A week later he called saying he missed me and wanted to work things out long distance, and when I could move out there we'll work it out. This went on for 2 months and when I was ready to move out there, I found out he had a gf the entire time. I called him on it and he got angry and demanded my engagement ring back, which I've returned. That whole thing got ugly and I spent many a night crying, still am. I've changed my number (twice), so I wouldn't be tempted to answer his calls & texts, so now he emails. He keeps going on about us being friends and keeping lines of communication open and that I can call him anytime, I refused to give him my new #. He frustrates me because I still love him, he threatend my life over stuff he's left behind, said hurtful things about my miscarriage, my heart hurts so bad. He gets uptight about the new guy I'm hanging out with (nothing serious; not ready). Questions me about my finanical situation, how I've been paying for all the stuff I've been doing in the past 3 months (blowing all the moving money I saved.) I deleted him from FB, so he sends me a request. I don't know what all this means. This breakup is harder than I thought it would be and he's not making it easy. I really still love him and really miss him. He emailed saying he missed me, signs off with "babe" and "sexy". What the hell does all this mean? Why is he doing this, if it's done why won't he leave me alone? I'm tired of crying, think I'm going crazy.
ReturnToSender Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 He sounds really manipulative... I mean, on one hand he may probably still be hurt that you cheated on him, but the huge swings back and forth, thats not good for either of you. It was a good step changing your # and blocking contact. My initial thought when you said he now sends email is to make a filter for his emails, that they'll go stright into your trashbin or deleted automatically, that way you dont have to see anything he has to say. Its like..he pulls you in to see ify ou still want to be with him, just so that he can turn around and hurt you...maybe as payback for how hurt he is? Its not right though, and its not healthy. Hes making you go crazy...
BeSteady Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Why is he doing this, if it's done why won't he leave me alone? Becouse it works and you keep going for it. If you stop playing the game so will he.
Author So_Sick78 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 He was the one who cheated, and had a child with someone else; I stayed faithful. I kinda figured he was playing games, but I was really hoping he was being sincere, it really sucks to be that wrong about someone.
ReturnToSender Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 He was the one who cheated, and had a child with someone else; I stayed faithful. I kinda figured he was playing games, but I was really hoping he was being sincere, it really sucks to be that wrong about someone. *Eep!* Im sorry...my mistake..I got befuddled when I said that about you cheating. He definitely does sound manipulative...I think hes making a game out of doing whatever he likes, getting involved with other women, then for kicks test the waters to see if youd take him back anyway. Sort of wanting to make sure you still love him so that he can kick you down again. I wouldnt play into that and give him the satisfaction hes looking for.
Author So_Sick78 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Thanks. I'm just tired of feeling like it's all my fault. I tried, I did. I'm just really hurt how he ended things and really hurt by the things he's said and done since, it really broke my heart. I thought I knew him, and its sad that I'm crying over something I never really had.
TaraMaiden Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 So_sick, I often sound like a stuck record, but I think I'm right - definitely, for sure, in this instance - please take a look at the 'Caliguy' link in my signature, and follow it through. This will be for your own good, and I think that's important, in every sense of the word. This man is eroding everything good about you, into the ground. Your biggest mistake (if I may say so) was taking him back after he created a child with another woman. Tell me, what's the deal there? Is he in touch with her? Is he responsible for that child? He's rude, cruel, manipulative and frankly a nasty piece of work. Please, go No Contact, and start healing yourself, and live your life as you should, for yourself.
Author So_Sick78 Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 I don't know if he is, he pays child support but he lives over 5000km away. I never got the full story of what happened, but I did, however get blamed for the first 4 years of that childs life for him not being there. Now that he's moved and I'm out, he's daddy of the bloody year! Haven't spoken or emailed or anything in 2 wks, had mini breakdown today.
samsungxoxo Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I see this is the man cheating scumbag that fathered another child, hit you before and threatened you with cutting your throat if you found you were cheating on him... Next time he emails you, what you can do is forward it to the police. In addition he's not even sorry for anything he has done to you, yet you forgave him easily and still want him... How can you love and want someone that has and still treats you like garbage?? Wake up already........ Have you got no self-respect?? Do you even love yourself?? Don't mean to be harsh but, I'm trying to point out what piece of **** you were dating.... That ex of yours never deserved you. What about the child. Let's say you would have married him, at some point the other child would have had a major impact in life and he would have to come and visit the kid, plus provide him with medicines whenever the kids gets sick, that would mean having contact with the OW he cheated on you with.... Think about it. And what would you have told your kids then...... He's a real piece of ****....
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