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If you don't actually want to meet up...


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Posted
For many people it isn't that simple unfortunately. Seems to be more common these days too!

 

That is sad :(

Posted

Sure is.

 

It seems people just like to say things like that simply in order to save face in front of others.

Posted
Sure is.

 

It seems people just like to say things like that simply in order to save face in front of others.

 

Yip and I also think at the same time, it makes them feel good about themselves coz they initiated something, at least (although they don't follow up on it).

Posted

That's exactly right!

 

For me, initiating something and then not following up on it (without good reason ofcourse!) is much worse than not initiating something at all.

 

I don't know if it's just now that I realise this but it seems that a lot of people treat others as their 354th option all too easily these days.

Posted

The sister of a friend of mine lives in my city. Months ago I suggested we get together. Since then it's been months of her sending me a message, "hey, when are we getting together?" I respond with my upcoming schedule and she doesn't respond. The same thing happens a few weeks later...on and on for about 4 or 5 months.

 

I'm fine with letting it go. But she insists on keeping this thing alive. I get calls and excuses and stories and on and on. It really makes me think less of her. And now that I'm reading this thread I think I'll ignore her next time.

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Posted

I realize that this is something that people do, but I'm still really annoyed about it.:o I don't understand why someone would waste my time, seeking ME out, to blow smoke up my ass.

 

Oh well. Fortunately I have friends and a bf who don't do this to me. :D

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Posted
The sister of a friend of mine lives in my city. Months ago I suggested we get together. Since then it's been months of her sending me a message, "hey, when are we getting together?" I respond with my upcoming schedule and she doesn't respond. The same thing happens a few weeks later...on and on for about 4 or 5 months.

 

I'm fine with letting it go. But she insists on keeping this thing alive. I get calls and excuses and stories and on and on. It really makes me think less of her. And now that I'm reading this thread I think I'll ignore her next time.

 

:lmao: I have had a couple people do this to me as well. I also just ended up ignoring them. Probably I should've called them out on their behavior, but after I failed to respond to the next request, I didn't hear from them again, so I guess they figured it out.

Posted
That's exactly right!

 

For me, initiating something and then not following up on it (without good reason ofcourse!) is much worse than not initiating something at all.

 

I don't know if it's just now that I realise this but it seems that a lot of people treat others as their 354th option all too easily these days.

 

:laugh: I agree with you, lino.

 

:lmao: I have had a couple people do this to me as well. I also just ended up ignoring them. Probably I should've called them out on their behavior, but after I failed to respond to the next request, I didn't hear from them again, so I guess they figured it out.

 

I called out on one of my friends. We were buddies in high school. So anyway, we'd bump into each other now and then and she would always without fail ask me this : "So when are we going to hang out?" and my answer would always be : "Whenever you're free, just let me know", she would then reply : "How about this weekend? I'll call you" and of course, the call never came.

 

This went on for a few times until recently, she started it again by commenting on my status, and I just said "You just don't give up do you? Stop asking me when are we hanging out when you can't even decide on a day and time. You and I know it's not going to happen so stop with it already. It's getting old".

 

Well, I haven't heard from her since :laugh:

Posted

Yeah, I think I'm done. I honestly don't mind not being a priority to her, but I do mind having to listen to all the excuses. It is a waste of my time! The thing with calling them out is they'll just deny it. Anyone who can't "man up" to just let something drop if they're not interested is probably not going to say, hey, sorry, that was dumb of me.

Posted
This went on for a few times until recently, she started it again by commenting on my status, and I just said "You just don't give up do you? Stop asking me when are we hanging out when you can't even decide on a day and time. You and I know it's not going to happen so stop with it already. It's getting old".

 

Well, I haven't heard from her since :laugh:

 

You called her out in public on your facebook status? Wow, that's pretty harsh. Haha she probably didn't get it though. I think people like that are kinda clueless. Don't you?

Posted
You called her out in public on your facebook status? Wow, that's pretty harsh. Haha she probably didn't get it though. I think people like that are kinda clueless. Don't you?

 

Nope, on our alumni forum. Funny thing that a few of our other friends agreed coz she did the same thing to them :rolleyes:.

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Posted

Not too long ago I had an ex-bf do this to me. He got ahold of me and wanted to meet up for coffee since we're so close to each other, location-wise.

 

I considered it, but decided I wasn't really interested (he was always a victim when we were dating, and couldn't ever take responsibility for himself, so I ended up just really not liking him or wanting to be his friend after we broke up - PLUS, I hadn't seen or spoken to him in years, I thought, why would I start now?). So I turned him down - a very straightforward, "No thank you."

 

But he kept at it. So finally I caved, thinking, OK, let's just get this out of the way. So the next time he asked (anytime, I'll come to you, etc.) I said, "OK, let's meet on this day at this time at this place." He confirmed. And then the day of he tried to reschedule. And he just kept doing this until finally I said pretty much the same thing as Leia - It's obvious that this isn't going to happen and I'm pretty annoyed at how you keeping wasting my time like this. The answer is no, please stop contacting me about meeting up.

 

Haven't heard from him since.

Posted
Nope, on our alumni forum. Funny thing that a few of our other friends agreed coz she did the same thing to them :rolleyes:.

 

Haha great validation. :):bunny:

Posted
And he just kept doing this until finally I said pretty much the same thing as Leia - It's obvious that this isn't going to happen and I'm pretty annoyed at how you keeping wasting my time like this. The answer is no, please stop contacting me about meeting up.

 

Haven't heard from him since.

 

I think it's important to specify that they ARE in fact wasting other people's time doing this crap. Good for you!

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Posted
I think it's important to specify that they ARE in fact wasting other people's time doing this crap. Good for you!

 

It was very easy to do in his case, because of how/why we broke up, and my complete lack of interest in having any sort of relationship with him. Unfortunately I'm probably too much of a coward to do it to certain people who deserve it :o

Posted
Haha great validation. :):bunny:

 

It is! :p

 

Sometimes you have to let them have it ;)

Posted
It is! :p

 

Sometimes you have to let them have it ;)

 

Yeah, I think we ought to be considerate of the other person's dignity and not totally rip them apart (sounds like you did it right) but people need to hear the truth!

Posted
Yeah, I think we ought to be considerate of the other person's dignity and not totally rip them apart (sounds like you did it right) but people need to hear the truth!

 

If anything I think it taught her a lesson. She asked for it :p

 

Sometimes even if you rip them apart, it will just fly over them. They will continue doing the same thing. Some people don't get it, they just don't.

Posted
If anything I think it taught her a lesson. She asked for it :p

 

Sometimes even if you rip them apart, it will just fly over them. They will continue doing the same thing. Some people don't get it, they just don't.

 

Yup, there are all kinds of people in this world and denial is not just a river in Egypt.

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