insecureeeyep Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Hello all. I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. We've been best friends for 3 years. Everything is really wonderful except my insecurity issues. I have nightmares about my boyfriend going back to his ex girlfriend. When we were first dating she was texting him a lot and he wasn't really putting a stop to it. One night I was really drunk when she texted him and I got really upset and sort of flipped out. After that he cut contact with her, deleted her off his facebook, and assured me I had nothing to worry about. She texts him/emails him sporadically and he always tells me. Still I worry. We saw her out the other night and he went and had a quick chat with her while I stayed with my friends, I didn't really want to be around it. We had exchanged phones the other night because we gave someone my number who was going to call us back, but I forgot I was going to be at work. While I was at work I went through his phone. I've been dying to do it, I know his passwords and have access to his phone since we live together. I have always stopped myself before but this time I just did it. (By the way, I know there is no excuse for this at all and it's a pretty big invasion of privacy) After I did it I felt horrible, like a bad person. In recent months there was really nothing that upset me, but when we were first dating there were some texts that DID upset me. There were also some pictures of her on his phone still. I decided to tell him immediately. He was a bit drunk when I told him, but he wasn't mad at me at all. He said he didn't mind that I went through his phone, but wanted to know why I did it. He offered to delete all the texts and definitely the pictures, because he doesn't look at them/need them. He said he didn't want to mass delete because it freezes his phone and there are texts from me that he wants to keep, so he will go in and do it manually. I felt comforted that night when we talked, but now it's creeping back up again. I don't want to keep bringing it up to him because he is amazing to me, he treats me really well and is very attentive. I know he loves me. I also believe that this is a problem that lies within me, and not within him. How can I get over this? How should I talk to him about my fears and insecurities without offending him? He told me he would never get mad at me for these sort of things (jealousy issues and insecurities) because he has struggled with that in the past as well, but I just want it to be gone. Help!
MSUE Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 honestly you are completely over reacting...what is it about this girl that makes you so insecure in you R? is it the way she looks? or something along those lines? do you find yourself comparing w her? or is it because you guys were best friends before dating and perhaps you know way too much info?
Author insecureeeyep Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 I've been hurt a lot in the past by people who I have trusted whole heartedly, so that is always an issue with me. I sometimes feel like she is above me? But I know that's not true. We both have our own talents and what not. I definitely feel like I know too much information, we used to talk to each other about our relationship stuff all the time.
Author insecureeeyep Posted September 14, 2009 Author Posted September 14, 2009 Anyone ever dealt with this?
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