Gorodn219 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Me and my SO (Significant Other) are currently living in 2 separated Canadian cities. I am a 4th year university student studying in a 5 year program. My SO is a newly graduate and have an accounting job working in a big accounting firm (One of the Big 4). We have been together for nearly 2 years now. We started out knowing each other through a dating website and I have since visited him a few times. I have work internships every year. Last year I stayed with him and his family for 5 months and another 4 months this summer. We are compatible with each other. I just flew back to my city (an hour and 15 minutes flight away) for the start of the school year. Unlike the last few stays, I am extremely upset with my long distance situation this time around upon coming home. I miss him terribly however he doesn't seem to feel upset which confuses me. We plan to move in together. He said that he will likely move to my city next year in September. He said the same thing last year before I left that he would like to move to my city Sept of this year, but here we are, still in a long distance relationship. Hes getting his CA (Chartered Accountant) License this coming May. He said he'll apply for a transfer to the local office here from his company but willing to apply for new jobs if the transfer is denied this coming year. But given the economy this year and his 'bluffing' last year, I just do not have much confident he will be able to move. I have another year and a half before I graduate (May 2011) so I will not be able to move anywhere. My best hope right now is for me to find an internship from Jan 2010 to Aug 2010 in his city but highly doubt I will be able to find one. I am feeling very emotional and powerless right now. This situation is putting me under alot of stress as I feel I do not have control over it whatsoever. Though I do not blame my SO for this situation, I do feel resentful of him for not being here. I've talked to my SO about this already. He doesn't seem to get why I am so upset since its only going to be "temporary." To me, its just that its been almost 2 years already and I can't seem to have the luxury that a normal relationship takes for granted so often. We try to talk everyday and text but to me, that is still not equivalent to the physical contact that I desperately need right now. He doesn't understand what more he can do to make me feel better. Honestly, I don't know either. He is frustrated as I know that there is really nothing he can do right now. The only options I can think of is "suck it up" or "Breaking up". What can I do to make this experience more bearable? What can we do to be able to stay together? Please advice, share similar stories or any words of wisdom. Thank you all so much!
Flavour Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Dear, I am in a different situation that to me seems much more complicated than yours. I would be quite confident if I were in your shoes because he has been clear, it is temporary. You are stll very young and not so far after all, you are being emotional right now but in the worst of situation you will graduate in one year and half and then if he cannot move, you will. try to stay positive. These moments of emotion are alternate, this time is up to you and next time it will be him. maybe he feels more relaxed because fater all he is happy with your relationship, despite of the distance. You give him enough to make him feel serene. Sorry for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. Even if you do not see any immediate outcome, your situation is not so depserate as you are seeing it now, on the contrary you have rock solid certainties, 2 yrs of relationship and a planned future together. Hang in there!
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