now_what Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 One year has passed since my husband (ex now) informed me by email while I was at work that he had moved out of the house after 30 years of marriage. It has been the worst year of my life, but in a strange way one of the better years of my life. Yes, he left and divorced me and remarried, which has been incredibly hard to deal with. But, in that year I have tapped into an inner strength I was not sure I possessed and cared for myself and my daughter, making sure that her needs have been met physically, financially and emotionally. My relationships with family and friends have strengthened also, and they have provided incredible support. My ex is fading into the dark recesses of my mind, except for brief emails to him about our daughter. Lately I have kept any contact with him to a minimum and I think I prefer it that way. I had told him at one time that we could still be around each other as parents to our children, but I don't think I want to anymore. He chose a new life for himself and I don't want or need to be included in any part of it, nor do I really care about what he is doing. I've finally been able to start planning for the future, trying to figure out what I need to do financially to make things work as well as contemplating the best career moves to make. Today - at least - I have a sense of peace and closure - maybe the one year mark does mean something. Thanks to all LS posters who have provided support and advice through this roller coaster ride. It means so much to me that complete strangers have reached out to help and give perspective.
Exit Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Congrats! First when I saw "year later" I thought this was someone missing a short lived relationship and I thought to myself "ha, you're not as over it as you think you are if you're still posting here a year later". But a 30 year marriage, wow. You certainly must have tapped into some kind of inner strength because many people would probably be destroyed by that type of heartbreak. I'm losing my mind with unanswered questions with a girl who left me after 1.5 years, I can't imagine 30. I'm glad that you are seeing the bright side of things. I too, am slowly and hesitantly, starting to see this as the best thing that could have happened to me. It still hurts like hell, today has been especially hard for no real reason, but I know it is motivating me to make changes in my life. I hope all goes well for you with your career and future.
PlanetJanet Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Congratulations! I am also about a year past the end of my (14 year) marriage. It's so scary at first but then you look back and see how much you were able to accomplish on your own. You learn who your friends are, who is really there for you. And the one person that never leaves your side is - YOU. I hope the future continues to be bright and promising for you. We cannot control the choices our former loved ones make but we can control how we will respond to those choices and how they will impact our lives. Best of luck to you!
Exit Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I hope both of you realize that by surviving and being successful you are an inspiration to those of us who are struggling.
Author now_what Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Thanks to all. I don't know about being an inspiration, but I tried to think about all the people who have worked through similar situations. In my mind's eye I pictured a tunnel and I was working my way through the tunnel and one day I would emerge on the other side and be ok. I know that sounds corny, but there are thousands of people walking around who have survived breakups, divorces, etc. and are still enjoying life either by themselves or with a new partner - so I knew it was possible. The journey through the tunnel pretty much sucked though lol!!
Beeotch Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 One year has passed since my husband (ex now) informed me by email while I was at work that he had moved out of the house after 30 years of marriage. It has been the worst year of my life, but in a strange way one of the better years of my life. Yes, he left and divorced me and remarried, which has been incredibly hard to deal with. But, in that year I have tapped into an inner strength I was not sure I possessed and cared for myself and my daughter, making sure that her needs have been met physically, financially and emotionally. My relationships with family and friends have strengthened also, and they have provided incredible support. My ex is fading into the dark recesses of my mind, except for brief emails to him about our daughter. Lately I have kept any contact with him to a minimum and I think I prefer it that way. I had told him at one time that we could still be around each other as parents to our children, but I don't think I want to anymore. He chose a new life for himself and I don't want or need to be included in any part of it, nor do I really care about what he is doing. I've finally been able to start planning for the future, trying to figure out what I need to do financially to make things work as well as contemplating the best career moves to make. Today - at least - I have a sense of peace and closure - maybe the one year mark does mean something. Thanks to all LS posters who have provided support and advice through this roller coaster ride. It means so much to me that complete strangers have reached out to help and give perspective. This is awesome! I am happy for you. Your story definitely exemplifies that when one chapter closes, another can begin and NOTHING is the end of the world...besides the actually end of the world Life was not promised to be easy but you have to take the good with the bad and on your journey do the best you can with what you have been given.
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