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3 months of nc,,,and now want to break it..i wrote an email... Want to send it;(

angelface78

By angelface78
in Coping

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angelface78 Established Member

angelface78

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I have been in NC 3 months straight. Throughout that time. I have looked at my exs myspace allthough everybody said dont do it. He is always leaving headlines about some girl he is seeing. He writes that he is loved and stuff like that...well I recently added a guy that i am talking to on my myspace. He leaves me lil comments here and there. When this happened my ex's headlines got more aggressive and exxagerated saying he is so happy with his life..that he feels amorous for his moods..that hes adored. Well last week he wrote a letter to the guy on my page telling him who he is that he is my ex of 5 years and my ex fiance. He told the guy that im talking to that i still call him...(BIG TIME LIE) and to be careful. Anyway the guy im talking to knows everyhting so he showed me the messages. I dont know if my ex wanted me to contact him to ask him why he is doing that but i didnt. Well yesterday he wrote on his headline that he loves her...and tonight that its her bday...and that they are gonna have a gooood nite (i guess we can all imagine what that means) Well now im all shook up. Him writing to the guy im talking to confirms that hes not over me and still looks at my myspace. That all his headlines are exagerated. The girl he is seeing looks like she really does like him..she is just a naive 19 year old. I know my ex was just messing with her but that he was going to come back looking for me but things got complicated now that this guy is on my page. last night i wrote a long email telling him that how could he move on so quickly?? That i guess i meant so little to him. That i guess she makes him happy and that she has done that in 3 months when i tried for 5 years. i dont know if i should send this email??? i have managed to keep 3 months of NC. I dont know how he will respond. He might be mean to me..but if he loves me he might not. I dont want to break NC but man i need him to know that i still love him. I know im pathetic. PLEASE PEOPLE HELP ME...SHOULD I SEND THIS EMAIL???

BW007 Established Member

BW007

Posted
Posted

No!NO!NO!...don't sink to his level. Block him if you can and go NC. Step back and realize you both are playing games still. Help yourself out and lose interest, that is the best revenge (Note to self too)

Radically_Altered Member

Radically_Altered

Posted
Posted

Stay strong Angelface!! DON'T send him that email. Leave it be and give yourself some time to quiet your mind and your emotions. By sending him that email you would just be giving away your power and no one has the right to make you give that up!

 

Why don't you post the email in the "post here rather than contacting your ex" thread here on LS instead?

 

Hugs and healing vibes!

 

xo

BeSteady Established Member

BeSteady

Posted
Posted

Sending it will be doing exactly what he wants you to do stroke his ego. You send it and then you will wait for a responce, and if you get one it wont be the one you want, it will hurt you and send you backwards.

 

You said your in NC but in reality you are still in contact by facebook stocking. Can you see how your hurting yourself? Stop it, don't send the email, leave the block his facebook accont adn get on with healing.

 

He is a game playing and likely better at it then you.

Exit Established Member

Exit

Posted
Posted

Don't send it. If he had anything important to say, he would say it to you instead of playing childish games. Stop looking at his page, you're no better than him in that respect. Make your pages private, just recently MySpace also made headlines/status private if your profile is private, you used to be able to see them still.

 

The letter you wrote will just make him happy, he'll know he got you shook up. If you were going to say anything, you should say that he's pathetic for contacting the new guy you're seeing, and all these games are pathetic.

 

But don't say anything at all. Maybe he likes this other girl, maybe he is just using her, maybe he's over you maybe he isn't, either way all you need to do is walk away and let him figure it out for himself. This guy deserves nothing until he is begging at your doorstep and apologizing for being a loser, and even then he might not deserve much.

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angelface78 Established Member

angelface78

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guys i did post the email i wrote to him in the long thread where we say post here instead of contacting your ex. YOU GUYS CAN GO READ IT IF YOU GUYS WANT..ITS PATHETIC. ITS ON THE LAST PAGE. Then the feeling has still lingered. I want to send it. You guys are right though...he doesnt deserve it. Im sooo miserable :( This new guy im talking to is soo wonderful. If it wasnt for this stupid ex i could see myself going for it for sure. I know guys i should not look at his myspace anymore....IM ALL MESSED UP. I BARELY EAT...I CRY...I NEED TO STOP!!! ;(

Radically_Altered Member

Radically_Altered

Posted
Posted

Hang in there Angel! I know how much pain you must be feeling! Its incredibly difficult to ignore but you have to give it all you've got!

Have you got someone to stay with? Parents? Siblings? Close friends who will support you and be with you so you're not staring at the computer feeling tempted to look at myspace? I know it seems like such a overly simple solution to how horrible you're feeling but it's a good way of distracting yourself from it and having the support of the people around you who care about you as well.

 

Please stay strong! You know you deserve better than to be feeling this way.

 

xo

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angelface78 Established Member

angelface78

Posted
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yes i do have many people who love me. I spent two hours on the phone with a girlfriend of mine who is very religious. Her words helped me soo much. I pray to God for strength...I WONT LOOK AT THAT PAGE THAT DESTROYS ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN.!!! She told me if GOD is with you nobody can be against you!!! THANKS TO ALL OF YOU....;) I WILL NOT BREAK NC....i will not send that email!!!:)

Radically_Altered Member

Radically_Altered

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That's fantastic!! I'm sure I speak for everyone here on the forum when I say we are all 100% behind you!! I know it will be very difficult for you but please believe me when I say that it will pass! Not sending that email is just about the best thing you can do for yourself!

 

Love and healing vibes Angel

 

xx

sunflower2009 Member

sunflower2009

Posted
Posted

Angelface - do not do it!!! I have an angry email that i have drafted up to really burn all effing bridges with my ex so he would NEVER NEVER contact me again. Which reads like, you are a effing white trash loser which is why you are almost 30 and don't have a career and need to have younger friends that you so that you can act like the boss of the herd.

I know the things to say to cause him a huge dent in his ego and self esteem.

 

But i will not email this letter because I do not want to give him the pleasure of finding out that I still think about him.

georgia girl Established Member

georgia girl

Posted
Posted

Don't send the email or break no contact. Think about how you feel right now and multiply it by 100. That's how you'll feel when you don't get a good response from him. Stay away. He's toxic and manipulative. Get on with the new guy. Sounds like he's willing to be in an adult relationship and work on things. Focus on him.

Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

Posted
Posted
I have been in NC 3 months straight. Throughout that time. I have looked at my exs myspace allthough everybody said dont do it. He is always leaving headlines about some girl he is seeing. He writes that he is loved and stuff like that...well I recently added a guy that i am talking to on my myspace. He leaves me lil comments here and there. When this happened my ex's headlines got more aggressive and exxagerated saying he is so happy with his life..that he feels amorous for his moods..that hes adored. Well last week he wrote a letter to the guy on my page telling him who he is that he is my ex of 5 years and my ex fiance. He told the guy that im talking to that i still call him...(BIG TIME LIE) and to be careful. Anyway the guy im talking to knows everyhting so he showed me the messages. I dont know if my ex wanted me to contact him to ask him why he is doing that but i didnt. Well yesterday he wrote on his headline that he loves her...and tonight that its her bday...and that they are gonna have a gooood nite (i guess we can all imagine what that means) Well now im all shook up. Him writing to the guy im talking to confirms that hes not over me and still looks at my myspace. That all his headlines are exagerated. The girl he is seeing looks like she really does like him..she is just a naive 19 year old. I know my ex was just messing with her but that he was going to come back looking for me but things got complicated now that this guy is on my page. last night i wrote a long email telling him that how could he move on so quickly?? That i guess i meant so little to him. That i guess she makes him happy and that she has done that in 3 months when i tried for 5 years. i dont know if i should send this email??? i have managed to keep 3 months of NC. I dont know how he will respond. He might be mean to me..but if he loves me he might not. I dont want to break NC but man i need him to know that i still love him. I know im pathetic. PLEASE PEOPLE HELP ME...SHOULD I SEND THIS EMAIL???

 

NOPE!

 

Most of us want the satisfaction that our ex's still care...and YOU HAVE THAT! If you are so happy, inlove, moved on you WOULD NOT be mesaging your ex's love interest with lies on myspace. It is OBVIOUS he is being petty, is not that happy and has not moved on.

 

 

You can take satisfaction in that his life is not as wonderful as he pretends it is and then continue doing you.

 

Emailing him will probably 9/10 times make you more upset as he is going to feel satisfied too that you took the time out to care and be smug about it versus having some meaningful conversation.

 

He needs to grow up...point blank.

 

Emailing him will not do anything for you in my opinion. I honestly would be smiling everyday and living my life all the more knowing my ex is still bothering about me but is too childish to actually say it to me. I would let him have that torture while pretending to be blissfully unaware. He will either have to man up and confront me or forever be bothered.

 

But I WOULD NOT give him the satisfaction of an email...oh no.

 

The situation reminds me of my ex and I in some ways. He doesn't do stuff like the myspace msg or anything but he is dating a 19 yr old (he is 26) and based on her page she is all head over heels with him, except my ex unlike yours, does not even have the courtesy to fake as if he is that into her. He says NOTHING about her while she is always putting her status as "feeling loved" and "my baby" this and that. When he does say something about her on Twitter for example, it is ALWAYS negative...never anything positive that seems like he likes her a lot. Sooooooo he really isn't fooling anyone.

 

I think when he put on Facebook that he got a gf and all this stuff he expected me to say something about it...and I DID NOT...WOULD NOT...HAVE NOT...NEVER WILL! I lived my life as if I never knew....I know it bothers him and confuses him lol and I love it and don't care. I would rather speak about it on LS and to my friends than ever letting him know it.

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angelface78 Established Member

angelface78

Posted
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Posted

B...

I know what you mean...my ex is 28 and this girl is 19. He doesnt know i found her page...and he NEVER leaves her comments...instead he writes things on his headline so that i can see. I know if he knew i could see her page he would be leaving her all kinds of comments. Well now i have decided not to look at his page anymore. It just destroys me....i dont need that! Its bad enough im dealing with the break up and on top of that i dont need to be seeing that they are out on the weekends and stuff. He is so immature....why cant he just man up and contact me if he loves me still! Oh well i did not send the email..it would have been a disaster...man!!! Thanks guys ;)

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