Heartbroken09 Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 The ex wants to be friends -I would love to be friends with him but everytime he speaks to me on the phone etc i just end up crying and craving him I cant tell him i dont want to be his friend till it suits me really, can i? I havent met him yet although he would like too this week, so worried it could go horribley wrong and take me right back to day 1 of break up...but i dont want him out of my life for good either! but i feel bad expecting him to stay around for friendship if i say i cant handle talking to him now etc (it has been 2 weeks of NC before this but we split up while back) Too make matters worse he has a mad ex girlfriend (with serious issues, she was the one he also was cheating on when with me) who hates me and has threatend to do all sorts (she has mental health issues) to me. So now im scared to be seen with him incase she thinks its more...when this time he isnt lying to her it really would be just friends! Do i say no and keep going strong like i was before he suggested meeting up for a cuppa or meet him once as friends (hope we dont see her) and trial it out. Guess im thinking ill prob end up regretting it either way Oh i hate loving him sometimes...why cant i have a simple love/social life for once!
Excellent Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 You are in for a tremendous hurt if you try to be his friend when you clearly are not ready. You can't have any of "those" feelings at all if you are supposed to manage being his friend. Trust me, i have been in the friend-zone with feelings still lingering, it hurts so much that i have trouble holding tears back just by thinking of it. I'd rather die than to see someone i love so deeply looking back at me with absolutely no interest at all again. And i am usually not a very emotional guy. Just tell him that you are not ready to be his friend right now, and cut him off. Don't do the stupid mistake i did. It hurts like hell in the beginning, but NC is the way to go. Go NC, and stay there.
BeSteady Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 The ex wants to be friends -I would love to be friends with him but everytime he speaks to me on the phone etc i just end up crying and craving him I cant tell him i dont want to be his friend till it suits me really, can i? I havent met him yet although he would like too this week, so worried it could go horribley wrong and take me right back to day 1 of break up...but i dont want him out of my life for good either! but i feel bad expecting him to stay around for friendship if i say i cant handle talking to him now etc (it has been 2 weeks of NC before this but we split up while back) Too make matters worse he has a mad ex girlfriend (with serious issues, she was the one he also was cheating on when with me) who hates me and has threatend to do all sorts (she has mental health issues) to me. So now im scared to be seen with him incase she thinks its more...when this time he isnt lying to her it really would be just friends! Do i say no and keep going strong like i was before he suggested meeting up for a cuppa or meet him once as friends (hope we dont see her) and trial it out. Guess im thinking ill prob end up regretting it either way Oh i hate loving him sometimes...why cant i have a simple love/social life for once! Be honest with yourself if it hurts dont do iy. If in the future there is friendship martial it will happen but right now you have to get to the point that it does not hurt. Read these: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance?
Author Heartbroken09 Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 How can i tell him though that its not i want to forget him/dont want him to forget me I truely can belive we could be great friends in the future. Just dont want too loose him forever by saying no now. Its like i love him calling me but hate it at same time I know it will be hard knowing things arent going to be the same again but i do not want him back like that, i just think i will be reminded of memories too much. Oh all this stress over meeting for a drink for half hour. Just would hate to loose him for good by going back to NC it was torture not knowing where i stood those 2 week, i thought i would be greatfull of him getting in contact first wanting to be civil and friends but dont find it that way now... i wish he hadnt of
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