stepka Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 The other night I wandered into Borders to get a praxis test book, but they didn't have what I was looking for so I went over to the relationships section. This one book had a stupid title so of course I had to see what it was about. It's called How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes. I started reading it and ended up buying it though I was embarrassed, because it did make some good points and was based on research. A lot of it was "duh" type stuff, but it was laid out in an engaging manner and a lot of it was just social skills, but to be honest, I need that sort of thing anyway--mine have always been a little off--less so than they were when I was younger, but still I can use some help in this department. The reason I bring this up is b/c the book answers a lot of the questions that I see people ask on this forum, so I thought you guys would be interested. Anyway, here are some of the highlights: First she talks about eye contact and how to do it precisely so that you can get the conversation started--many of us are familiar with the feeling of seeing a good-looking stranger at the store or something, and not knowing how to start the convo or how to keep it going--or whether they'd even be receptive. Lots of stuff about that--one that intriqued me is the "conversational cherry"--where you're just making small talk about the weather and it's raining and she will say something like, "Well at least it's good for the plants." That's his cue that maybe she's interested in plants or she wouldn't have mentioned it. Many of us shy people would be so busy fishing around for the next thing to say that we'd miss that altogether. She also talks about echoing someone's language. Like if he's talking about his job or something important to him, listen carefully to which words he uses to describe what he does, and be sure to use that terminology, b/c it establishes you as an "insider," and one who understands. That made sense and was something I'd not thought about before. There was a lot of stuff about delivering effective compliments, which is something we could all use, and would be useful to know with anyone really--I'm a teacher, and I know how important it is to compliment kids wisely. Not just, "Good job, Sarah!", but "Wow, I love that word you used in that paragraph and I love how your last paragraph tied it all together." Same priniciple with this: find what they're most proud of and lay a genuine compliment on them. Certainly, the best compliments I've ever received are ones that I've remembered 20 years after they were given. Now for my favorite chapter, and guys esp should pay attn here. If you want to make love with your lady the way she likes it best, you should do one of two things, or maybe both: 1. Rent some porno flicks, but not the ones aimed towards men--get the ones made by women and for women. They show lovemaking the way women want it. She esp cautions you not to skip up to the "good part", b/c the truth is guys get impatient watching all that foreplay--consider this part of your schooling. 2. Read a couple of Harlequin Romances--not the whole thing, just the love scenes, b/c they describe sex the way women want it done. LOL, I never read the silly things myself, but when she excerpted a love scene so you can see what she means, I must admit, she has a point. Of course, for women, you're supposed to watch guy porno films--guys like it down and dirty, but we already knew that, didn't we? So couples should trade off or something so both get what they want. Or, lots of foreplay and kissin, and then totally nasty sex. Sounds good to me, when I'm ready for a relationship. Any thoughts of any of this?
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 There was a lot of stuff about delivering effective compliments, which is something we could all use, and would be useful to know with anyone really--I'm a teacher, and I know how important it is to compliment kids wisely. Not just, "Good job, Sarah!", but "Wow, I love that word you used in that paragraph and I love how your last paragraph tied it all together." Same priniciple with this: find what they're most proud of and lay a genuine compliment on them. Certainly, the best compliments I've ever received are ones that I've remembered 20 years after they were given. Totally agree. It's really flattering if somebody can be detailed about what it is that they liked about whatever it was that I did. Now for my favorite chapter, and guys esp should pay attn here. If you want to make love with your lady the way she likes it best, you should do one of two things, or maybe both: 1. Rent some porno flicks, but not the ones aimed towards men--get the ones made by women and for women. They show lovemaking the way women want it. She esp cautions you not to skip up to the "good part", b/c the truth is guys get impatient watching all that foreplay--consider this part of your schooling. 2. Read a couple of Harlequin Romances--not the whole thing, just the love scenes, b/c they describe sex the way women want it done. LOL, I never read the silly things myself, but when she excerpted a love scene so you can see what she means, I must admit, she has a point. Of course, for women, you're supposed to watch guy porno films--guys like it down and dirty, but we already knew that, didn't we? So couples should trade off or something so both get what they want. Or, lots of foreplay and kissin, and then totally nasty sex. Sounds good to me, when I'm ready for a relationship. YES, OMG, YES. Had no idea how freaking important foreplay was until the current guy. :o:o Holy bejeesus. I was getting ripped off before, dammit. Because I am GOOD at the crazy monkey sex. I have given and given in the past and I didn't have a clue what I was missing. We haven't even gotten to home plate, yet, and I'm totally hooked. I'll admit - I have read a couple of those books, and yes - they are pretty much right on. It's been awhile since I've read any, but I seem to remember getting pretty turned on.
Hkizzle Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Men that know how to make love properly, start with foreplay, move on to the sweet love making, then the monkey sex, and finally the hardcore porno sex.
DSM2709 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 HKizzle, what's the difference between monkey sex and porno sex? Can I wear my mask during sex, would that make a difference? LOL!!!!!
Bejita463 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Men that know how to make love properly, start with foreplay, move on to the sweet love making, then the monkey sex, and finally the hardcore porno sex. I thought it was hardcore porno sex into premature ejaculation into sleep. Huh. I've got this all wrong. Wait, what.
Pedigree Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 1. Rent some porno flicks, but not the ones aimed towards men--get the ones made by women and for women. They show lovemaking the way women want it. She esp cautions you not to skip up to the "good part", b/c the truth is guys get impatient watching all that foreplay--consider this part of your schooling. I'm on it.
Author stepka Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 I'm on it. Come on up and see me when you finish your lessons.
Recommended Posts