EcstasyX6 Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Hello, I'm newly divorced, and definitely gun shy. Right out of the block I meet this tall, sexy, sweet funny, kind, smart guy who's also divorced, raising two kids,(I'm raising two as well), a great dad and is crazy about me. We've been dating for 5 months. We've both said the L word to each other. We enjoy doing a lot of the same things, and he's even mentioned marrying me. Aaaarrrrgghhhhhh! Do I dare even think it? I feel like a teenager when I fell in love the first time. The intimacy if off the hook, beyond beyond belief, off the walls, you name it, we've got it. BTW-He's 40, and I'm 44. Funny...he looks 50, and I look 35. I realize that new sex is always the best sex, and I realize that it just can't stay this hot, or can it? He thinks so. I enjoy his personality and sense of humor. He manages a large number of people where he works. He's fun to converse with, yet serious when need be and insightful in a common sense way. This man has everything that I've been craving so, I should be happy right? However, I find the conversation lacking at times. He talks about the details of his job a lot, which I find interesting, and I like it when he bounces problems off me. My ex and I could converse about anything and everything with ease- we still do. I must say that's the one thing I miss about him. However, our marriage was lacking in all other ways: things in common to a large extent, energy, passion, financial thinking, raising kids....other issues...but I'm not here to talk about that. Be careful what you ask for right, because you just might get it? I'd say my boyfriend 'blue collar' and my x is Exec level. I'm not judging, just giving you a picture. He's cool, chill, and fun overall. My x and I were like 2 misfit puzzle pieces. With my bf, there's a natural chemistry and sense of comfort that I've never experienced. Bottom line is how much with this lack of stimulating conversation be an issue in the long term. I know that I'll have to answer this question for myself, but I wonder how many women have dealt with this issue? It's the common scenario: good looking, tall, hot guy, with street smarts. He's got an edge which I find appealing. He drinks a little...curses a little, but damn he's sweet as hell to me...calls me everyday, and we text like crazy. But I mean, I question if in 10 years, I'll be yawning outside of the bedroom even though we talk about everything except world events, and the universe if you know what I mean. What does that matter if you love a person? I know that you'll never find everything in one person. It's just not possible. He's so different than my x, which is good, but it's scaring me. Do we have enough to form a long term relationship let alone marriage? Is it too early for this? Should I be dating? (but I'm not interested in anyone else, and we both are committed...is it too soon though?) It's a no brainer right?? So happy, but hesitant at the same time...
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I'm going to say "too soon to tell." Just hang in there, keep dating, don't rush anything. Once some of the infatuation starts to wear off, you'll be able to see if the conversation thing is going to be a dealbreaker to you. There's no way to tell until you get to that point. I wish I had that crystal ball, I could use it myself!
Author EcstasyX6 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Yes, indeed time will tell.
stepka Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Yeah, I'd say give it time and don't rush into marriage too soon. It sounds great to me though, and you may still be in that phase of judging the new by the standards of the ex. I wouldn't worry too much about it being too soon though b/c only you know when you're ready--don't worry what other people think about that.
looking4 green grass Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I do think time will tell you what you can and cannot live with. And yes, the comparisons between the ex and the new bf can be hard after a divorce. I'm pretty sure I would date anything that was the exact opposite of my ex hubby. 3.5 years out I've finally found that I'm really looking for a blend of what my ex was and what his opposite would be.
Recommended Posts