Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 I'm still feeling a little mortified over the facebook thing. What would be the best response if he asks? Or should I beat him to the punch?
Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 I repeat: 2007 Seghesio Zinfandel (Are you reading this, Allina?) Buy it for yourself even, you won't be disappointed. As for beer, I'm a pansy. Blue Moon all the way. I've never had Blue Moon, I'll have to try that!
carhill Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Ooo should I have a veggie?I always do a light salad to start. Some people prefer a hot vegetable. I tend to end up with vegetables in my marinara so don't do that. Alina, I will try the '07 Coppola Rosso next time I'm at BevMo. They've got it on sale for 6.99 right now. This is the guy who bought Charles Shaw by the case for parties, so I like both ends of the stick. The Krug left with the stbx Dreamer, IMO, the key is to show him who *you* are, not worry about what he likes right now. First time my wife cooked me dinner when we were dating, she fixed mushroom soup. Sounds awful, and I had never had mushroom soup before (except out of a can in casseroles) but I didn't go home that night. She fixed what *she* liked. I brought the two buck Chuck Merlot
loveslife Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 For the wine, I'm a big fan of several Napa Cabernets. 2005 was a good year for Napa wines. But if you don't want to spend a lot I suggest an Australian Shiraz. You can get a lot more bang for your buck with a Shiraz. Can get something very good for $20. Glad to see you're okay. Have fun.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 Carhill - I was hoping you'd chime in on the key thing. LL - thanks! I didn't realize people would have thought something was wrong because I went mia from LS for a few days
stefspets Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 The cheap beer was a joke, I wouldn't bring it myself. Well now I would but he's already agreed to be with me. I don't know wine at all, I like some reds, shiraz for example, but I go for the cheap stuff...it does the job and I enjoy it just fine. The suggestions here though will probably be more helpful than me.
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 This is the guy who bought Charles Shaw by the case for parties... As did I!!! I can't find 2 Buck Chuck anywhere these days.
carhill Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Carhill - I was hoping you'd chime in on the key thing. I can't speak for your guy but I admire and respect a woman who is comfortable with her authentic self, and that includes her cuisine and beverage. Now is a time to do what you do best and show who you are. It was those experiences with my now stbx which caused me to decide that she was marriage material. One thing we were really good at was working in the kitchen together and putting on dinner parties. I loved doing that. Looking forward to doing it again, someday, when I replace all my cutlery and dishes LOL... Enjoy!
carhill Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 As did I!!! I can't find 2 Buck Chuck anywhere these days. LOL, my stbx has all our cases at her new house. I think she has stuff all the way back to 2001. Find something that friends like (our friends are not wine hobbyists) and stock up....
Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 I can't speak for your guy but I admire and respect a woman who is comfortable with her authentic self, and that includes her cuisine and beverage. Now is a time to do what you do best and show who you are. It was those experiences with my now stbx which caused me to decide that she was marriage material. One thing we were really good at was working in the kitchen together and putting on dinner parties. I loved doing that. Looking forward to doing it again, someday, when I replace all my cutlery and dishes LOL... Enjoy! I mean, do you find it odd that he offered a key to me for the day so I could let myself in early? I do believe he's looking forward to me cooking for him, he seemed to be rather excited about it.
loveslife Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Haha carhill, I just figured out the stbx = soon to be ex. Duh. Anyway, Dreamer, I'd go for a salad. That's what I do. But then I also tend to put a lot of veggies in my pasta or with fish (which are my two main guest meals.) It's not until about four or five years ago that I got into cooking. Before then, when I had a guy over for dinner I would make some spaghetti and heat up a jar of Ragu. Seriously! Nobody ever walked out or stopped dating me after I made them dinner. I agree with carhill, do something that represents you.
silverfish Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I think the key thing comes across as genuine and spontaneous - it's like 'you have the power'. It's a very personal thing, letting someone into your house, and I would personally never do it unless I'd known the person for a while. This is only because - in my experience, he'll possibly expect the same openess in return from you. How would you feel about that? I also agree on not pandering to his likes too much. If he likes red wine fair enough, but what do you drink? What about sangria?
kizik Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Sometimes I wonder how people ever managed to lead their romantic lives without dating advice internet forums. Without the trite advice of a hundred strangers, I'd never be able to walk out my door, let alone muster the confidence to talk to the opposite sex.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 Haha carhill, I just figured out the stbx = soon to be ex. Duh. Anyway, Dreamer, I'd go for a salad. That's what I do. But then I also tend to put a lot of veggies in my pasta or with fish (which are my two main guest meals.) It's not until about four or five years ago that I got into cooking. Before then, when I had a guy over for dinner I would make some spaghetti and heat up a jar of Ragu. Seriously! Nobody ever walked out or stopped dating me after I made them dinner. I agree with carhill, do something that represents you. Yeah, maybe I'll go with a salad. What type of lettuce? I was just going to put some spices in the sauce. I hate tons of veggies in my sgetti sauce It's a texture thing. I think the key thing comes across as genuine and spontaneous - it's like 'you have the power'. It's a very personal thing, letting someone into your house, and I would personally never do it unless I'd known the person for a while. This is only because - in my experience, he'll possibly expect the same openess in return from you. How would you feel about that? That's a good question, and I have not thought about it. Well I did take the key. I wasn't really sure how to react, as I wasn't really expecting that. I've never really had a guy just up and offer me a key to use that day for whatever reason. It caught me off guard. I also agree on not pandering to his likes too much. If he likes red wine fair enough, but what do you drink? What about sangria? I've come to like wine quite a bit since I've moved here. I do like red wines, normally merlot. I also like white wines, and sweeter wines. I guess I just wanted to get him something he liked, as he surprised me by picking up things that I liked.
silverfish Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Ok well , I'd say rocket - if you can get it over there, because it's nice and spicy (a bit peppery). Also, just think that you should not feel the need to reciprocate too much on the openess thing with him if you don't feel comfortable with it. Maybe ask him a little more about his past R experience maybe (I know this is a downer on an early date though). Just - I've had a similar thing happen to me and it's hard to take back those things once you've given them out. Don't feel like you have to match his actions if it's going too fast for you
Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 How do I even bring up past relationships without seeming like I'm jumping the gun? Can it be done in a light hearted way? We've talked a bit about what we are looking for, agreed that it's still way to early to put a label on us, but that we'd both be honest with one another if we were seeing anyone else. Although, I can't imagine a guy handing a key over if he's seeing someone else. Also, how do I handle the facebook thing? Do I let him ask wtf or do I beat it to him and make a joke about it?
carhill Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I mean, do you find it odd that he offered a key to me for the day so I could let myself in early?I wouldn't feel it odd, simply because I have nothing to steal. Stbx has everything Seriously, though, it's hard to say. Some people are more trusting, and some people give off an aura of trustworthiness. Personally, I wouldn't assign a lot of significance to one action. Just be who you are How do I even bring up past relationships without seeming like I'm jumping the gun? Can it be done in a light hearted way? I don't recall my stbx mentioning her past husbands in any detail until we had to pick some stuff up over at #2's place. No biggie. Everyone has a past. That was long after we started dating and IIRC after we had started being intimate. YMMV on that one. Some guys don't like that stuff. Me, whatever, I got no fun secrets to keep.
silverfish Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 How do I even bring up past relationships without seeming like I'm jumping the gun? Can it be done in a light hearted way? Also, how do I handle the facebook thing? Do I let him ask wtf or do I beat it to him and make a joke about it? I don't really know the answer to these questions myself - only that both these things came up as issues. The facebook thing because I found as fast as it was turned on, it was turned off, so everyone on my f/b 'knew' about it and it wasn't my choice to do the whole facebook 'in a relationship' / shared friends thing in the 1st place. Past relationships - all I can say is get him a little bit drunk - it'll all come out in the wash..although that works both ways!
silverfish Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Oh and yey me I finally sussed the quote thing!!
Isolde Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 I've never had Blue Moon, I'll have to try that! Ahh you're missing out.
Jilly Bean Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Dreamer! How exciting! But, there could be a bag of hair with this guy. I do find it very odd that he's giving up housekeys to someone he's known a few days. That generally signals someone who has pacing issues, or lacks boundaries. I vote you show up after he gets home - let him shower, shave, ****, whatever... Then come up about 7-ish, cook for him, enjoy the wine together... Try to keep it more date-ish, than making it seem like you're already living together. Things that happen that fast tend to burn out, and you need to be evaluating him during early dating, and that's easier to do when you're still maintaining a healthy distance. Good luck!
Isolde Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 And this is freaking weird too. Everything seriously in this thread is weird. OK Dreamer that's creepy, he friended your mom? Also listen to Jilly Bean, I think that is good advice
northstar1 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 So I checked my facebook, both my mom's page and his page says they are now friends He did email to tell me that he hopes I'm having a good day Didn't mention my mom. Yikes. Just saw this. I have to admit Dreamer, that's a little strange. Granted, he seems normal for the most part from what you've said, and a nice guy, but you've known him for all of 4 days and he's already befriended your mother? Maybe I'm the weird one, but something about this seems off to me.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 15, 2009 Author Posted September 15, 2009 OK Dreamer that's creepy, he friended your mom? Also listen to Jilly Bean, I think that is good advice No. It's earlier in the thread. I was catching up with my mom about my weekend, and she wanted to see what my date looked like, so I showed her. She thought she was being funny and sent him a friend request. I don't think he realizes the connection yet. My mom has a very goofy and weird sense of humor.
silverfish Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Well, anyone who's been involved with someone's g/f or b/f mum before knows that this is a big deal which is why I'd say question the past relationship experience thing. It's not something anyone would take lightly IME
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