carhill Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 This needs to have the brakes put down big time, Dreamer. This guy has all the makings of being a major blow torcher, and you don't need any bittnerness! Concur. Dial it back a bit. Agree on making dinner another time. Too much in one evening. Have fun at the game
loveslife Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Hey Dreamer, how old is he? What does he do for a living?
Author dreamergrl Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Hey Dreamer, how old is he? What does he do for a living? I'll PM you with that stuff, if you don't mind.
torranceshipman Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 This guy sounds really cool - really interested, making future plans, doing thoughtful things...I think it all sounds awesome. Who really knows what will happen and sure, we don't know this guy personally, but at the same time, going ONLY on what I've read on this thread so far, he sounds like one of those hard to find lovely guys who is well adjusted and ready for a relationship and is not afraid of bypassing the usual dating rules and just going for it.
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Concur. Dial it back a bit. Agree on making dinner another time. Too much in one evening. Then tell him you'll make him dinner some other night. Meet him at the venue, eat hot dogs, drink beer. Keep it simple and light. This needs to have the brakes put down big time, Dreamer. This guy has all the makings of being a major blow torcher, and you don't need any bittnerness! Ditto, 1000000%
Phateless Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Oh, they're just excited about each other. Let them have their fun. When Dreamer senses it's time to chill out, she will. Either that or she'll get herself hurt. Either way, I think she knows what she's getting herself into, and if she sets up herself up to get hurt, she'll know exactly what she did to cause it. Personal responsibility. Dreamer, carry on as you see fit. Just trust your instincts.
Island Girl Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Oh, they're just excited about each other. Let them have their fun. When Dreamer senses it's time to chill out, she will. Either that or she'll get herself hurt. Either way, I think she knows what she's getting herself into, and if she sets up herself up to get hurt, she'll know exactly what she did to cause it. Personal responsibility. Dreamer, carry on as you see fit. Just trust your instincts. I agree Phateless. She is smart enough to handle herself and she has been through hell. She is also in a new city and should experience all it has to offer. She found someone who wants to be part of that experience and show her some of it -- great - fun - and romantic all in one. She should just relax and enjoy.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 I am going to enjoy it. And I am going to follow my instincts - as I learned last spring that I should have been doing that a long time ago. If something starts feeling off - I will deal with it. I'm not in a super serious R with him yet either, nor am I expecting for us to be bf/gf right off the bat. I'm just taking it one day at a time. What I find amusing is that when I was multiple dating, I was desperate. Now that I found someone that I'd like to really get to know, and put time aside for, I'm also desperate. I think the issue there is some people are just desperate for others to share their bitterness. I refuse to let bitterness be a part of my life. My past is my past. I'm in the present now. I've learned so much from past experience, and some great people on here.
Island Girl Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I am going to enjoy it. And I am going to follow my instincts - as I learned last spring that I should have been doing that a long time ago. If something starts feeling off - I will deal with it. I'm not in a super serious R with him yet either, nor am I expecting for us to be bf/gf right off the bat. I'm just taking it one day at a time. What I find amusing is that when I was multiple dating, I was desperate. Now that I found someone that I'd like to really get to know, and put time aside for, I'm also desperate. I think the issue there is some people are just desperate for others to share their bitterness. I refuse to let bitterness be a part of my life. My past is my past. I'm in the present now. I've learned so much from past experience, and some great people on here. Fill that place of desperateness by treating yourself really, really well. Pamper yourself - you'll enjoy it - it takes time - and you benefit from it completely.
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Now that I found someone that I'd like to really get to know, and put time aside for, I'm also desperate. Thank you for finally owning that. :bunny: I agree with IG... FILL YOUR LIFE by taking care of you, in whatever way outside of this relationship that makes you happy, whether that's running, spa days, painting, reading, shooting pool, whatever.
northstar1 Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 237 posts later................how long, how long can this thread go?
Author dreamergrl Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Thank you for finally owning that. :bunny: I agree with IG... FILL YOUR LIFE by taking care of you, in whatever way outside of this relationship that makes you happy, whether that's running, spa days, painting, reading, shooting pool, whatever. :lmao::lmao: It was meant that now I'm being called desperate by other people. I'm not desperate. If I was desperate, I'd have settled for one of the guys I was dating that I decided to stop dating. You do realize that by agreeing with IG, you're agreeing with me, right?
Author dreamergrl Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 237 posts later................how long, how long can this thread go? Well it was dead, then SG felt the need to put "I agree". I've got all my conclusions figured out now, thanks to a lot of great advice :bunny:
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 :lmao::lmao: It was meant that now I'm being called desperate by other people. I'm not desperate. If I was desperate, I'd have settled for one of the guys I was dating that I decided to stop dating. You do realize that by agreeing with IG, you're agreeing with me, right? Your overuse of laughing emoticons is ... nevermind. It's obviously that I don't agree with you, AT ALL. I was agreeing with IG's statement when she said: Fill that place of desperateness by treating yourself really, really well. Pamper yourself - you'll enjoy it - it takes time - and you benefit from it completely. GOOD LUCK, Dreamer!
Author dreamergrl Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Your overuse of laughing emoticons is ... nevermind. It's obviously that I don't agree with you, AT ALL. I was agreeing with IG's statement when she said: GOOD LUCK, Dreamer! I've agreed with everything IG has said to me. But I'm not desperate. My life has been very full here. I've made countless friends, I enjoy my work, I love my life quite well. It's been an amazing experience for me. Now I get the pleasure of dating someone I click with.
melodymatters Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 So, what happened on the dinner date ? Sorry if you posted a new thread, but I missed it and I AM curious as well as rooting for you !
Author dreamergrl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 So, what happened on the dinner date ? Sorry if you posted a new thread, but I missed it and I AM curious as well as rooting for you ! Well, I still made dinner, but since we had the hockey plans following it, I made it less elaborate. Since I already offered to make dinner, I didn't want to flake on it, so I kept it a bit more simple. So I tried to take the advice of not making too big of a deal of it. I didn't get the wine, but he surprised me with getting my favorite. I passed on the salad, and just made chicken with a side dish of spaghetti, and kept it the sauce simple. We went to the hockey game, where we had these awesome suite tickets. It was a lot of fun. We made plans for tonight. And next week is the Brewers/Rockies game - which I'm excited for! Things have been going well
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 dreamer, I'm glad to hear that your date was fun. Just relax and enjoy it. It sounds like he's a decent guy. Whether this turns into something serious or not, isn't really an issue, unless you make it so. Do it your way v. the exact way anyone else feels a relationship should progress. Trust your gut and in yourself. As long as you don't ignore any red flags, it's all good!
Author dreamergrl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 dreamer, I'm glad to hear that your date was fun. Just relax and enjoy it. It sounds like he's a decent guy. Whether this turns into something serious or not, isn't really an issue, unless you make it so. Do it your way v. the exact way anyone else feels a relationship should progress. Trust your gut and in yourself. As long as you don't ignore any red flags, it's all good! Thanks TBF I am keeping my eyes open, and staying anxious free. I'm quite happy how well I feel things are going, and letting things come as they do. You know how an old me would be handling this. If things keep going this well, I think down the road (and I don't mean next week ) I'll visit the 'is this serious' part. If it's not going to be serious, and I'm ready for that, then I'll accept it for what it is, and figure out what I want to do next. If we are ready for something more serious, then that's what it will be. However it turns out, I'll at least know that I've been enjoying my time seeing him.
Shygirl15 Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 dreamer, I'm glad to hear that your date was fun. Just relax and enjoy it. It sounds like he's a decent guy. Whether this turns into something serious or not, isn't really an issue, unless you make it so. Do it your way v. the exact way anyone else feels a relationship should progress. Trust your gut and in yourself. As long as you don't ignore any red flags, it's all good! Very much agree, plus making mistakes is part of the learning process so if it doesn't work out then no need to blame yourself. Just consider it a learning experience and move on. I wish you all the best and I hope it works out for you.
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Actually dreamer, it all ties in well with being desperate. When you were multiple dating you claimed to be doing it just to have fun and you claimed to not even want anything serious at the moment. I said that you were doing it because you were desperate to find a boyfriend and think that multiple numbers will increase those chances. Now that I have been proven right (you were in fact doing multiple dating to find a bf) and you are willing to drop everyone else as soon as some guy shows some interest in you and completely date at HIS pace for however long he wants you. Hitting internet dating like there is no tomorrow as soon as you moved to a new city is a HUGE sign of desperation. My guess is that you have already been through all the internet guys in your original city. Guess you will move on to the next place when the supply runs out here. Must find a bf at all costs!
Isolde Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I can see why you guys felt it necessary to warn Dreamer (safety concerns, etc.) but come on, it's gone a bit far. A little enthusiasm about a new guy isn't the kiss of death Also, why knock her down for being proactive, when moving to a new city? Jeez.
northstar1 Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Actually dreamer, it all ties in well with being desperate. When you were multiple dating you claimed to be doing it just to have fun and you claimed to not even want anything serious at the moment. I said that you were doing it because you were desperate to find a boyfriend and think that multiple numbers will increase those chances. Now that I have been proven right (you were in fact doing multiple dating to find a bf) and you are willing to drop everyone else as soon as some guy shows some interest in you and completely date at HIS pace for however long he wants you. Hitting internet dating like there is no tomorrow as soon as you moved to a new city is a HUGE sign of desperation. My guess is that you have already been through all the internet guys in your original city. Guess you will move on to the next place when the supply runs out here. Must find a bf at all costs! So, according to you, nothing she does is right? If she multi-dates she is desperate, if she dates just one guy, she's desperate. Moves to a new city and uses the internet to meet guys, desperate? Pray tell, edify us with your winning strategy for her to find someone she likes?
Cora Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I'm glad things are going well Dreamer! Continue having fun and don't listen to all of the negativity on here. I'm happy you have found someone you like!
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