boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 I talk to my ex just to see how it was going. she told the guy how she felt about him and I kept my cool while she was telling me al this and she said that she found out that she really didn't like him and now she told me that she's intrested in talking to this one guy and if she doesn't like him that she's going to talk to this one OTHER guy. I'm devasted, were going to hang out but I don't know when......I quit guys, I feel crushed, she's gone.....here's something to cry for. I wish I could just get her back. I want to ask her about me but I'm scared really scared. This sucks I wish I could just move on....but I cant ): I can't even sleep at night. Blah
Unistudent Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Ugh... I feel for you man.... She shouldn't be so inconsiderate of your feelings. She either thinks your completely over her or she is just being really mean. If mine did that to me... I would freakin blow up. NC dude. Just dont talk to her anymore.. even though it hurts. Hang out with fam and friends, play some games, do some reading, some work, exercise... anything to keep your mind off that stuff.
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 Its so hard especially now. We can have a great coversation like we did. She makes me happy, she just did and she laughs at my jokes now! She doesn't give me one word answers anymore! I'm not letting this get over my head but I'm just happy she's talking to me normal. she even told me I'm cute. I don't know what to think of all this....am I dreaming? I just wish she could stop with her saying "I'm boy crazy right now blah blah blah" but whatever. What do you think guys? And I'm still going to take your advice and all the other advice that great people gave me on here. I'm so happy I found this place! Any advice on what's happening
BW007 Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 She told you about 3 different guys. I don't want to be harsh but why the hell is she telling you this? The love of your life(like mine) is a skank... and mean and thoughtless. If she is letting other people screw her it is over. Go NC.
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 I ask myself that same question every time she tells me cr*p like that. She knows it hurts me, she knows actually everything....my weakneses and what makes me happy,mad, upset, I mean everything and she has used my weakneses against me when we were dating and she still is!
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 You are now her FRIEND.. Do not continue to let her use you in this fashion. Do you want to be her friend? Maybe hold her purse while she shops for shoes and flirts with the sales guy? I'd hope not! Cut all contact with her. Wait till she tells you how her sex life's going! That'll be *****y!!
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 That's a very good point. I never saw it that way.
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 I also didn't mean to come off as harsh at all. But, that's where she has you at and you obviously don't want to be there. So...DON'T! She's using your kindness to help her get over you. Hell! She's even discussing it with you! Don't allow for that to happen any longer. Time to man up and get to stepping!
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 Yeah man your right. I think she was right when she told me that I deserved someone better than her. Now I wish she would tell me that again so I can agree with her haha. I know what your trying to say, hopefully one day even if its not with she will find out what I'm going through. Do you think that if she does come crawling back that I should play hard to get?
Left in a Lurch Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 You need to put it in perspective. It's like touching a hot stove, you know you are going to get burned every time. You know the end result going in so there is no reason for you to go into any conversation with her not expecting to get burned. If you can handle getting burned every time, have at it. If not tell yourself to move on. Think about if you talk to her every day for the next month and how much it will hurt because you know it will kill you and you'll lose a month of your life for nothing. Then think about not talking to her for the next month and you know after the first week or so you will start to recover, maybe just a tiny bit but that tiny bit is better than your current situation. Decide what path you want, the one that you hurts like hell or the one where you know the hurt will get less and less. If that doesn't work think back and concentrate on before you met her. I guarantee there was another women you met that you thought you would never find someone better, but you did. As good as you might think it was, someone better is out there and when you meet her, this girl will pale in comparison.
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 She was my first true love. But I did know one girl that I liked before her but now my ex talks to her. She took all my friends, two of my closets friends were waiting for us to break up. So they could move in to comfort her and one of them succeded that's the guy that she told about how she felt about him. Oh and I liked this girl in my class but I was dating my ex and felt guilty of likeing her. I didn't want to so I told my ex and she was able to forgive me but I didn't want to screw up so I didn't contact that girl ever since and she was in my class. I think I'm going be safe and not get burned. I'm still looking around for another person but can't find anyone. My ex can since she knows like every freaking guy in this town. Whatever she can get her heart broken when she gets in a rebound relationship.
adamt Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Stop touching that electrice fence!It will hurt. Read the sign that says please don't touch. If you want to keep touching it then walk away from it to a place where you can not see it anymore
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 I know I'm trying my hardest. Its easier said than done. Does anyone have any experiences like this or anything close to this. What did you do?
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Do you think that if she does come crawling back that I should play hard to get? I think you should "play" impossible to get! As in, there's no way in hell I'm going through that again! Let it go! You seem to be pretty young and have a long time to find the right one('s) out there for you. This will, most likely, not be the last time you get your heart broke. It happens to us all..Even rock stars, actors, ect.. We all go through it the same..minus the money, houses and cars, of course.haha
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 I think you should "play" ..Even rock stars, actors, ect.. We all go through it the same..minus the money, houses and cars, of course.haha Hahah. I know and I am young, what if she comes back begging. She never begged to me so I'm probably going to fall for it very fast. I'm like 100 percent sure that if she really loved me like she told me she did then she's going to regret this very very soon so I think that if that day ever comes I should be prepared to play impossible to get like you said...any advice on how to do that without falling for her again.
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 I'm not going to lie.. I took my ex back for a month before I broke it off with her this time. It just never felt right anymore to me. she was "shocked that I'm doing this" haha.. I was shocked to see pictures of her with some dude while we were still in our 5 yr relationship..anyways..to me any more..once they've gone, they can stay gone! There's no more coming back to me...not in this life any longer will I do that. I did it with my ex-wife a few times and now this past one.. It's just never the same once that first true trust is broken.
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 Yeah that was one thing that lead to our break up....I get on my hotmail to see my new messages and we both have an msn (that's how we used to contact each other all the time) and I look on the updates and I saw that she put up a picture of her and this one guy touching cheek to cheek. So I'm texting her mad as hell haha. Punching everything I saw and she explained that her friend put it not her. But I wasn't convinced so my anger took over and I dumped her, but later I realized that I made a mistake and we got back a few days after when she came to my house. Then she dumped me like a week later so now its me trying to get her back and getting hurt.
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Yeah that was one thing that lead to our break up....I get on my hotmail to see my new messages and we both have an msn (that's how we used to contact each other all the time) and I look on the updates and I saw that she put up a picture of her and this one guy touching cheek to cheek. So I'm texting her mad as hell haha. Punching everything I saw and she explained that her friend put it not her. But I wasn't convinced so my anger took over and I dumped her, but later I realized that I made a mistake and we got back a few days after when she came to my house. Then she dumped me like a week later so now its me trying to get her back and getting hurt.My ex's were taken on more than one occasion(different outfits)..When confronted it "was a friends friend" only on these nights she was blowing off our plans to hang with him I found out..anyways, water under the bridge as that was 5 months ago.. but, you're better off without her after whats taken place. Like I said, once the trust is gone, it's a bitch to get it back.
Author boredtom Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 Oh man that sucks that she would do that to you to hang out with him........It seems like the more I talk about what she has done to me the more encouragment I get to let her go. Do you get stronger after you get passed relationships because I don't want to be the victum ever again although I know I will be but hopefully I'm going to be stronger and not be like this in future break ups.
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Mine were so spread out I kinda forgot what it was like. I've really only been in what i'd consider two longterm relationships ex wife and now ex girl of 5 years..pretty much the same thing.. Don't get me wrong though.. I've been an "*******" and had quite the few flings and f-buddies through the years between the two serious ones..but, those two long terms both worked me over pretty good. My most recent was worse than my divorce. It does prepare you for the healing process a bit but, the shock, crushed ego/pride are still the same. IMO
Broseph Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Yeah Praying Ive had two serious relationships of between 3-4 years, one where i was engaged but my fiance cheated on me (sulked a bit but moved on relatively quick) but this one is lingering don't know why. I see it as possibly two reasons One it ended on good terms and when I was happy and making a solid effort to be a good a boyfriend, well i always did as she was my best friend. Heck I am not perfect but I was going out of my way to do nice things and make her feel appreciated. I look at some of my male friends who are married and the way they treat their wives is laughable. Maybe that's what ladies want maybe I just need to be a jerk and the one who is pursued. away and Two, I am originally from Canada but moved to Australia to be with her, maybe I just don't have my social network that I have at home. Sure I have the occasional friend to talk to it about but its not the same. I wish I could go home so bad right now to be around all my friends who love me and look after me, I hate feeling like this because I was enjoying things here, I don't want to run away back home (seems contradicting doesn't it)
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Always wanted to go to Australia! Hows the beach areas there? Was think of hitting up Hawaii in a few weeks but maybe that'd be a better choice. Close friends,nor family weren't really a help for me in my break up, as I'd been talking about ending it with her for a few months before she did it to me..haha! It was a "thank god! Finally, it's over" vibe!! They were even more supportive when I took her back for the month!
Left in a Lurch Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Hahah. I know and I am young, what if she comes back begging. She never begged to me so I'm probably going to fall for it very fast. I'm like 100 percent sure that if she really loved me like she told me she did then she's going to regret this very very soon so I think that if that day ever comes I should be prepared to play impossible to get like you said...any advice on how to do that without falling for her again. That's one thing you need to conscientiously make an effort to stop - fantasizing that she will suddenly see the light and come crawling back to you. It's not going to happen. Besides, in your fantasy when she comes crawling back, do you fantasize about the time a few days later when she sleeps with another guy? Do you fantasize about going to the bar and when you turn away she hits on another guy and starts making out with him? She burned you once and you are trying rationalize it by her crawling back to you and changing her ways. You are begging to get burned again, why? You might as well plan for when a super model happens to meet you at a bar and decides you're the one for her. Get into reality and you will be able to move on. Keep pretending she will come crawling back and thinking you'll play Mr. Cool and have your chance to hurt her back and you'll just be treading the same shark infested waters you're in now.
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