Sevenscars Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 So I have been NC for around 130 days now. A quick recap: was in a relationship with a girl who left me for another man without saying anything to me. Did not accept it, got back together, and she broke it off again after dragging me on and on. Afterwards, I found out she was cheating with the man she left me for. It's been a struggle. After a few months, she called twice (I never answered), emailed two or three times (I never answered) and texted about 5 times (I bet you can't guess what I did with those). They were all only for validation, and to relieve her own guilt for what she did. I did not give that to her. I haven't heard from her since the last text -- not that I necessarily wanted to or anything, as I never want to talk to her again. Though my birthday was a few days ago, and she did not contact me to wish me happy birthday or anything. It seems silly to me that I kind of wanted her to contact me, especially since good chances are that I would not have replied. But I was kind of hoping that she would have. I am over her. Why is this getting me down? Why wouldn't she contact me, either? I would guess that it is due to me not answering anything else of hers. Even though I know she cared very little, it just makes me think that she cared even less than the tiny amount I thought she did.
Sunset Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Aw big hugs to you. But to be honest you cant be over it if you were kind of hoping contact would be made on your birthday. Of course someone is not going to keep trying if you have not replied previous. You really really need to think about what you want and either cut the cord and not care or get in touch for your closure. best of luck x
TaraMaiden Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 So I have been NC for around 130 days now..... I am over her. ...Er.....Guess again..... Why is this getting me down? Because you're not over her.... because you want to know she's still thinking about you.... Why wouldn't she contact me, either? Well, you've (quite rightly) ignored every other attempt, so why would she keep trying? Especially as she thinks you would think, "huh, she's only trying to get round me because it's my birthday! No way am I gonna respond to this, she's just being a creep!" And as you said yourself, you wouldn't have responded anyway, so it's just as well she didn't even try.... ....isn't it....? I would guess that it is due to me not answering anything else of hers. Even though I know she cared very little, it just makes me think that she cared even less than the tiny amount I thought she did. Well all this self-contradiction is an absolute confirmation of the fact that you are not over her. Because whether she ever contacts you or not, you really shouldn't care either way. But you do. You sooooo do. And no, you're not over her. Keep at it.....
Author Sevenscars Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Aw big hugs to you. But to be honest you cant be over it if you were kind of hoping contact would be made on your birthday. Of course someone is not going to keep trying if you have not replied previous. You really really need to think about what you want and either cut the cord and not care or get in touch for your closure. best of luck x What do I want? From her - affirmation of the wrong she did to me, and for her to realize what she put me through. Absolutely heartless. I want her to feel guilty. Because you're not over her.... because you want to know she's still thinking about you.... I do want to know that she is still thinking about me. I am over the feelings, very not in love with her, and am sort of disgusted by her. But yes, I do still want her to think about me. Maybe just in that alone I am not over her completely. Well, you've (quite rightly) ignored every other attempt, so why would she keep trying? Especially as she thinks you would think, "huh, she's only trying to get round me because it's my birthday! No way am I gonna respond to this, she's just being a creep!" And as you said yourself, you wouldn't have responded anyway, so it's just as well she didn't even try.... ....isn't it....? Her saying something to me on my birthday would have been for me a fine attempt for her to reach out, and probably would have given her plus points (in knowing that she still SOMEWHAT cared). But I still would not have responded. So yes, it's just as well that she did not even try. Well all this self-contradiction is an absolute confirmation of the fact that you are not over her. Because whether she ever contacts you or not, you really shouldn't care either way. But you do. You sooooo do. And no, you're not over her. Keep at it..... ~130 days and still going. Thank you.
Sunset Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I really don't think you will ever get that affirmation...but you know in your heart that she did wrong so it should not matter what she thinks. You will only truly know its over when you haven't bothered tocheck how many days of no contact there have been. That you still have to count really says it all. I wish you lots of luck, forget about her..try and think of all the horrible things if you have to think of her...there are plenty more gorg women out here
Author Sevenscars Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Well she contacted me, surprisingly. She told me that she gives up and I win, some friends have asked about me, and I can do what I want with that information. What is her deal?
Patrice Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Watch it ... going that long with NC - don't get suckered in again!
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