the last ever conversation with my ex.. i've had enough, i'm moving on

September 12, 2009

my ex treated my badly, anyone who has read my other threads knows the long story.. my ex ended things with me very cruelly.

this guy has messed with my feelings for kicks and to keep my hanging on. just last week he sent me a text saying "i want you back" ..my friends told me to ignore it saying "don't answer him, if he really wanted you back he would do more than send a text, if you answer him the next message will prob be 'i hate you' " (as my ex likes playing games and is unpredictable) that same night he sent another text saying "i love you"

..in my weak state i replied saying "i'm out tonight, wanna meet?" to which he wrote back "i can't i'm drunk, dunno where i am" .. so it was all a game to F**k with me

last week we had an argument because i kissed a friend of his. he called me lots of brutally nasty things.. that i was a wh0re, that my vagina was like a 'piece of busted soda' (!!!) truth is i'm a decent girl, i'd only ever been with him! but even after all the bad things he did to me and things i forgave him for he went mad at me for kissing his friend even though we've been split up for 7 months now.. i think this was just an excuse to get me off the scene as i have a feeling he is with someone else now.

so anway, this was the last conversation we had through texts:

Charmaine: "U wer so nasty 2 me lastnite for no reason. U know fine rightly im not a whore, i don't sleep around. Never hav, never will. I only slept with you cuz i went out with u so long and still had feelings 4 u. Mayb the girls u hang around with now are sluts, or the tramps on the internet. But u kno im not like that. Im different, im actually 1 of the few decent girls out there."

My ex: "what did i tell u last nite delete my number dont wanna hear from you ever"

Charmaine: "U called me a slut cuz i kissed ur old mate even tho im single. U kno im not a slut, i dont sleep about. U've done far worse 2 me- u hit me and cheated on me, the 2 worst things a guy can do. who would want a bf like that?"

My ex: "Delete my number never contact me again."

Charmaine: "Ok, il delete ur number but one last thing i need 2say- U have changed so much, u used 2 b such a nice guy. Now u go out & do crazy things acting like a nutter. I duno wat happened but i hope u wise up &realize. Wen i was with u i kept u out of trouble. Now u just seem like bad news. U wer never like that wen i was with u, its so weird how u just suddenly changed frm bn so sweet 2me at Xmas to just hating me wen i did nothing wrong. I find it very hard 2 understand. Some day u will realize i really cared about u and u treatd me like sh*t wen i didn't deserve it. I thought since we went out for so long we could hav even been friends but ur a different person these days. i duno wat happened 2 u. This is the last u will ever hear from me i can promise u that"

My ex: "Thanks thats what i want"

..and that was it. i realize i looked extremely weak and pathetic and i am sorry i had to get to this stage before finally being ready to move on! i'm sorry that i had to reach rock bottom. but i have finally realized i need to be done with him for good- i should have realized this months ago when my ex first broke up with me. but i didn't want to believe he really had changed that he really was a bad person.

Now i have seen him for what he is. i have lost ALL my dignity in the process but atleast i can accept it now and move on. i will never speak to him again after the things he said to me, they were unforgivable. i am NC now, it's been 4 days but i made it to 5months before- i had a relapse in between- but this is def it now.

*let this be a warning to others!!! do not make the same mistake as i did!!

just wondering what u guys make of my final conversation? he sounds like he doesn't give a damn anyway and the things he did say to me were vile.

but on a scale on 1 to 10 how pathetic and like a doormat was i?!

and what do you think of his responses? i'm done with him anyway, but i feel he wants me to run after him to feed his ego and get a kick out if it. well i am not that girl anymore, no way, i have had enough, no going back!

opinions please...

September 12, 2009

I really feel for you. I don't know the situation, but I know the feelings.

Don't beat yourself up. It's a waste of your energy. Just don't do it again;)

Did you delete his number? In addition, I think you should block it. No way to know when/if he contacts you again. You can really start to move on. Also - if you're a social networker, take some time off and make sure you remove any medium in which you could cross paths with this douchebag.

You'll feel better soon enough. And sooner if really go no contact with him.

Best of luck to you!

September 12, 2009

Alektra is right. Agree with everything she said.

(ive replied your other posts so you already know my two cents)

again goodluck

September 12, 2009

I also agree. I haven't read your prior posts.. its not your fault that you are stuck in relationship ambevilance. He keeps sending you very mixed signals and playing games. You love him. Scratch that.. you are in love with the idea of him when you met him.. it is apparant that he has changed. You should could your blessings he is being this way..

Please don't make yourself vonurable to him anymore, you deserve much more, despite trying to give the scumbag the beneft of the doubt,...

what an a=hole.

September 12, 2009

Sorry to hear you had another round with your ex.

As a man, It sounds like he's daring you to move on and doesn't think you got the strenght to let go.

Show him he means nothing to you by simply staying NC! Sooner or later, his wheels will come off (gets dumped Or lonely) and he'll be probing you with texts messages ONCE again. Trust me- some men (or should I say- boys) play this game.

September 12, 2009

I know it is hard, try not to beat yourself up, as long as you learn from this and move on and don't repeat the same mistake again then it will not have been in vain. You deserve better, you must be strong and go NC, your ex does not respect you, so you must respect yourself, do yourself a favor and move on, never let yourself be treated bad again, stay strong....you can do it

September 12, 2009

i think he is def playing games with me. i agree with this statement that one of the posters above made : "As a man, It sounds like he's daring you to move on and doesn't think you got the strenght to let go."

i think he doesn't think i can move on because i have been so weak and ran after him so much even after all the bad things he did. he prob expects me to text him this weekend if i'm out or drinking. BUT I WON'T.

i know this conversation prob made me look pathetic to him. but it doesn't really matter now because no matter what i am 100% NC, i will never speak to him again. i had to lose all my dignity to realize that but now i know. i think he is in a position now where he is cocky, running around with his friends thinking he is amazing but i believe when times get hard or things go wrong he will turn back to pursuing me, this time however i will not bite the bait, i'm not getting sucked into his mind games anymore.

he prob thinks he will hear from me, that i can't let go. as the weeks tick by he will get a shock. i am NC now for good this time.

maybe i am reading too much into the conversation but after i told him i would delete his number he said to me "thanks, that is what i want" -now that sounds pretty final but then i think why even write back to me?.. i think he wrote that so that i would answer saying something like "but it isn't what i want" etc. i may be wrong but i do think it is part of a game to make me run after him more.

what do u guys think?

(i know technically it shouldn't matter as i am NC now regardless but i'm just interested to see what others make of our final conversation and what i wrote in the paragraph just above)

September 14, 2009

anymore thoughts on what u guys think of this last conversation??

it seems pretty final from his end, we've been NC now for about a week. tho i can't help wondering were his last words- 'thanks that's what i want" a way of him goading me into running after him or was he simply replying to be final and end things?

September 14, 2009

why are you dwelling on a man who used and abused you?

September 14, 2009

because i was with him for 6 years and he was my 1st proper b/f. tho i have def accepted it now and seen him for what he is. so that should help me to move on now finally because for a while there i lived in hope that he would change back to how he was before and i was making excuses for him.

i'm NC now no matter what so maybe it shouldn't matter. and he made it clear he never wants me to contact him 'again ever' as he put it. and i won't after the abuse i took from him gave me a major wake up call, albeit too late

BUT.. i guess i posted this thread of our final conversation so people could tell me if what i said made me look like a complete desperate idiot?! -think i went overboard, but i wanted to tell him how i felt and think i was at rock bottom at that point. i know it prob made me look weak and he was very cold, harsh short and final in his responses. i know i have to move on now i just wanted people to respond to what i wrote.

i think he wanted me off the scene because he was done with using me and no longer wanted me around, i also believe there is a new chick on the go and he didn't want me blowing up his phone because of that. so i think he used that fact that i kissed his old friend as an excuse to fall out with me for good.

just wondering what people make of the conversation? i think he wrote "thanks thats what i want" to goad me into running after him more but i may be wrong. maybe he just wanted it to be final. it's been one week NC now and nothing from his side either. he has changed, i won't talk to him again. but i still wonder if he really meant it when he responded so harshly.

but how deseperate and pathetic did i sound in what i sent to him?!

September 14, 2009

i've accepted it and am NC now definately- contacting will achieve nothing but more pain for me anyway. but the one thing i will never understand is why he just suddenly flipped and changed on me out of nowhere. at Xmas he bought me all these presents and was being so sweet then afew weeks later he was arrogant, rude and distant then broke up with me when i did nothing wrong. he has been acting crazy ever since.

before the NC just the other week he actually said to me "my girlfriend is so much better than you, you're a whore" even tho he was sleeping with me behind her back several times- i didn't know he had a girlfriend at the time, i ws deluded and weak and stupidly thought he had feelings and we would get back together. believe it or not this used to be a sweet guy, i duno why he changed, was it drugs or new company. but he used to be so nice and loving that is the 1 thing i can't get my head around.

do you think people like this guy ever change or have regrets? or do they just stay crazy forever? i don't want him back, i just hope some day he comes to his senses and looks back on how he behaved with regret and realizes what a good girl he lost, that is all i want.

anymore thoughts on our last conversation and all the moaning stuff i wrote to him?

September 14, 2009

because i was with him for 6 years and he was my 1st proper b/f. tho i have def accepted it now and seen him for what he is. so that should help me to move on now finally because for a while there i lived in hope that he would change back to how he was before and i was making excuses for him.

i'm NC now no matter what so maybe it shouldn't matter. and he made it clear he never wants me to contact him 'again ever' as he put it. and i won't after the abuse i took from him gave me a major wake up call, albeit too late

BUT.. i guess i posted this thread of our final conversation so people could tell me if what i said made me look like a complete desperate idiot?! -think i went overboard, but i wanted to tell him how i felt and think i was at rock bottom at that point. i know it prob made me look weak and he was very cold, harsh short and final in his responses. i know i have to move on now i just wanted people to respond to what i wrote.

i think he wanted me off the scene because he was done with using me and no longer wanted me around, i also believe there is a new chick on the go and he didn't want me blowing up his phone because of that. so i think he used that fact that i kissed his old friend as an excuse to fall out with me for good.

just wondering what people make of the conversation? i think he wrote "thanks thats what i want" to goad me into running after him more but i may be wrong. maybe he just wanted it to be final. it's been one week NC now and nothing from his side either. he has changed, i won't talk to him again. but i still wonder if he really meant it when he responded so harshly.

but how deseperate and pathetic did i sound in what i sent to him?!

You were honest with him, and that is what counts.

But to truly move on, you have to let go of the analysis of your final conversation, or it will haunt you and you will feel "what if i'd say this instead".

It's out there, you've said your peace. Time to move on.

September 14, 2009

in a way i'm glad i said it because it was the truth and how i felt. and it had been on the tip of my tongue for so long i'd bottled it up so i would have wondered too much if i hadn't said it, i had to tell him how i felt.

i realize i looked weak but then i think my feelings were normal after how he treated me and because we'd been together 6 years so maybe telling him wasn't so bad, it was a normal reaction. ok i didn't get the response i was hoping for, i got a very nasty cold response but at least i got it off my chest about how i felt.

he knows how i feel. i only hope one day he will realize how much he hurt me (for no reason, i didn't deserve it) and i hope he will feel like absolute crap when it hits home to him, if it ever does. his behavior the past few months has not been normal, i dunno whether it is a phase he will snap out of.

some people have said when he gets bored or dumped or lonely he will blow up my phone again, to play more games or to get attention. i dunno if that will happen. all i want someday is for him to say sorry and to acknowledge what he put me through. i don't want him back tho, but i want him to realize some day that is all.

September 14, 2009

do you guys think his last msg to me after i told him i wouldn't contact him again he said "thanks that is what i want" .. do u think this was to goad me into saying something like "but it isn't what i want" and making me run after him more begging. or do you think he was just being final and telling me he is serious and really doesn't want to hear from me ever again?

i know it shouldn't matter but i'm just curious about ur opinions on this, because i think to myself why would he write back at all.

thoughts..

September 14, 2009

CC, plesae, please, please, take some time to read up on emotional abuse.

I realize you've invested 6 years,but no one ever deserves to be treated the way he`s treated you.

Work on your self-esteem, and make room in your life for some one who will treasure YOU.

You can`t control his behavior, only your own actions.

*hugs*

September 14, 2009

i did things to my ex that she didnt deserve. only once i called her names and stuff. but i apologized and never did it again. i just got upset whenever she was talking to another guy. i f'ed with her emotions, when she loved me alot. i regret doing it cuz now im the one whose down.....but other than that i was a good bf to her.

September 14, 2009

Its sad that a person you loved for 6 years treated you this way and changed but unfortunatley there's nothing you can do about if but move on with your own life and leave him in the past. He's not worth it and he was playing a cruel game with your heart. You would have been chasing hm forever and wasting time that could be used meeting a nice person. You've gone NC before and you can do it again. at least you have a clear head now and you know he's out of your life forever.

Nc won't be half as hard this time as you now know the type of the person he has become and believe me you'l move on quicker than you think. you don't need him in your life.

September 14, 2009

it is emotional abuse, he actually said to me last week before i initiated NC "i love you.. only joking no i don't" and "i want you back.. actually i'm drunk" and other things like that constantly toying with my feelings. then in my head it gave me hope. one minute wanting me, the next telling me to go away. now he has said 'delete my number, never contact me again ever' ..i just don't get how after 6 years he can be this way with me like i mean nothing. do you think he knows what he is doing? that he knows him weak and that he is being horrible because he can. he acts like he is doing nothing wrong but surely he knows the effect this would have on me?

September 14, 2009

i think its the fact that it was 6 years and we were 1st loves. ya know if this was just a 2 month fling i could understand but 6 whole years of my life i invested with this guy, i loved him and the strange thing is he absolutely adored me and believe it or not was a really nice caring guy. then he starts hanging around with new friends and just completely changed on me. his behavior is not normal. i just wonder if one day he will wake up and realize he did wrong and feel regret. i don't want him back, iv accepted how things are and am in NC but i'd love an apology from him for him to realize what he did was wrong and i didn't deserve what he put me through

September 14, 2009

Like I said, please read some articles (there`s tons when you google) and educate yourself on recognizing the signs. I`d hate to see you fall into this same trap again with your next relationship.

There are certain traits that will attract abusive partners.If you recognize those in yourself, then you can work on them, and avoid the pitfalls.

You may never get your apology out of him, which really sucks, I know.It sounds like right now his head is jammed so far up his a** that he's completely FOS. (osmosis)

All you can do is work on you. Learning more about abuse will speed your healing.

I wish you my best.

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the last ever conversation with my ex.. i've had enough, i'm moving on

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