scots Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 hi I have never been in a real relationship before this one, so therefore have never experienced what i am going through atm. i met this girl over 3 years ago and we became very close friends. we knew absoloutly everything about each other.... however as from 6months ago we became alot closer. I knew that she had had a previous relationship of 6 years and she hated the fact how dependant she had become on him, so she promised herself it would never happen again.she is very headstrong and independant now. She refered to us as the whole 'friends with benefits' crap. we got closer and closer....she told me she was starting to get strong feelings towards me, however its important that the friendship remains the most important thing, which it always did. She also basically set a date (6months) down the line to when things would have to cool off...due to work commitments getting tougher (which i know are true because im in the same line of work) and basically that were both too young to be commited to each other for the rest of our lives. but this set date felt like a lifetime away at this point. we got closer and closer...even though she still had the set date, she started telling me maybe in a year or two, when the course/work gets easier once again, she could see herself back with me....and we would probably have the odd fling during the cool down period anyway... We have the same group of friends....she didnt want them knowing what was going on, however 2months into it she decided to tell them, which i thought was a positive thing... closer and closer.....1 month till the deadline. we go on holiday travelling for 6 weeks. went very well. few tiny arguments which i think is acceptable. towards the end of the holiday i actually might of made the mistake of telling her that i think im in love with her. she took it well, didnt say it back but said....'you dont need me to tell you how i think about you'.... so there my love life story....were at the 6month deadline as we speak. and things have gone as expected....i thought i would take it ok and that because were close friends things wouldnt change. however, everytime were out she's flirting and dancing with other men, not shy in hiding it either. she's told me to go and pull other woman but i really don't have any interest in doing so. ive told her how i feel and ended up getting upset....she told me she loves me and will do until she tells me otherwise.things just feel weid between us, even when were acting as friends in our circle.... i just dont know how to handle this situation or know exactly how it is i should be acting. i've never written one of these before, and just thought i would do so to get it off my chest.....
JaggedRoad Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Consider yourself lucky that it didn't become anything more than just friends with benefits. It seems like you already know all that you need to know, and you're just looking for some confirmation. But I wish you luck. If you think it's worth pursuing a relationship with her, go ahead and do it. Just be prepared for some heartbreak if things don't fall into place. It may be good experience for you regardless of the outcome.
Author scots Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 pursuing the relationship is exactly what i want.....but she doesnt. how do i make that work?
JaggedRoad Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Well, you have to take it slow. Let it happen naturally and don't force it. You'll know when she wants a relationship.
Recommended Posts