MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Do you find this to be true? I find younger guys in my age group to be fickle and shallow. Maybe I'm not pretty enough to their standards. I thought about getting plastic surgery (nose job) amongst other things. Then I thought maybe I should just go after older men (save money) because they aren't as picky.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 What age do you consider a man in the "older" category?
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Mid 30s. But defintely 40 and up
2sure Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Nope, they are just as picky especially if you want an older guy that is established and successful . Its just that the things they are picky about can be different.
GorillaTheater Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Mid 30s. But defintely 40 and up Well okay then. I'm not on the market, so being more or less "picky" is inapplicable to me (because I'm not "choosing"). But one thing I can say is that my definition of attractiveness has changed and broadened over the years as personality and character have moved much more to the forefront of my criteria.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Since you're talking about my demographic target audience, I can say that they're more picky unless they just want to "hit it and quit it".
Lishy Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Older men (the healthy minded and the ones who have their sh*t together) are more fussy with the person and less fussy with looks as with age come experience, and experience teaches you know that looks are not the be all and end all! Rather then focus on what age man to go for you should use that energy in seeing the beauty of you! You may not be a beauty queen on the outside but most beauty queens have nothing to offer other than looks - Sooo my advice is to learn to love yourself for what you are and not for what a plastic surgeon can turn you into ... Maybe then you will realise there is more to life then men and looks!
sally4sara Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 OP I understand how it can all get you down sometimes, but you seem really preoccupied with your appearance and overly worried about aging. This comes off as shallow and insecure. Combine that with having a generally low opinion of men - well yeah, then you're going to have some trouble keeping one around. We have a tendency to only feel comfortable with what we think of as "normal". You seem to think it is normal for men in your age group to be picky and shallow and only care about a woman's appearance. So it stands to reason that you will gravitate to guys who prove you right about what you suspect. Once YOU find value in yourself, you will discover that others do too almost as if we wear our outlook on our face.
GorillaTheater Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Well okay then. I'm not on the market, so being more or less "picky" is inapplicable to me (because I'm not "choosing"). But one thing I can say is that my definition of attractiveness has changed and broadened over the years as personality and character have moved much more to the forefront of my criteria. That said, I'm pretty much a total sucker for hot brunettes.
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 OP I understand how it can all get you down sometimes, but you seem really preoccupied with your appearance and overly worried about aging. This comes off as shallow and insecure. Combine that with having a generally low opinion of men - well yeah, then you're going to have some trouble keeping one around. We have a tendency to only feel comfortable with what we think of as "normal". You seem to think it is normal for men in your age group to be picky and shallow and only care about a woman's appearance. So it stands to reason that you will gravitate to guys who prove you right about what you suspect. Once YOU find value in yourself, you will discover that others do too almost as if we wear our outlook on our face. I do try to find the value in myself. But its when I get around guys who are like this, I just say forget it and go back to thinking i need to change how I look. I don't even want to leave the house anymore. I have to attend a university with a bunch of young guys who care about looks and body.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I do try to find the value in myself. But its when I get around guys who are like this, I just say forget it and go back to thinking i need to change how I look. I don't even want to leave the house anymore. I have to attend a university with a bunch of young guys who care about looks and body.Have you ever sat down and really analyzed which guys tear women's looks apart? It's usually the guys who aren't getting any. Consider it a form of pre-emptive rejection, in that they're highly critical, since most are pretty geeky themselves.
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Have you ever sat down and really analyzed which guys tear women's looks apart? It's usually the guys who aren't getting any. Consider it a form of pre-emptive rejection, in that they're highly critical, since most are pretty geeky themselves. I don't mean that they are necessarily tearing women's looks apart. But I do notice that young guys don't like to even talk to girls who they don't find attractive enough to their standards. Just on a platonic level, it's like you have to meet a certain physical standard for that too.
carhill Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Personally, I feel the pencil gets much sharper as one gets older. But, then, I'm not old yet, merely 50. It is, however, a trend I've noticed in my own psyche.
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Personally, I feel the pencil gets much sharper as one gets older. But, then, I'm not old yet, merely 50. It is, however, a trend I've noticed in my own psyche. huh? What do you mean?
carhill Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I'm more picky. Very few women occupy that third dimension of interest; rise above the canvas to be more than just the background. I'll destroy a few more metaphors if you like
sally4sara Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I do try to find the value in myself. But its when I get around guys who are like this, I just say forget it and go back to thinking i need to change how I look. I don't even want to leave the house anymore. I have to attend a university with a bunch of young guys who care about looks and body. Everyone cares to some extent about looks and a person's body type. But what do you care for the opinion of people who would only care about those things? And to consider not going to uni because of some dumb college guys that, if that is all their about are not guys you would be happy dating anyway - dead give away that your priorities are not in order as you're suppose to be going to educate yourself, not score a date. Look, I walk down the street and the only guys that walk up to me in interest are sleazy come on guys. They know nothing about me so any "compliment" they have to offer won't be about my real assets and only say....my ass. Yeah! Big ego boost there! Whooo! Is this how you'd prefer your day to go while you should be focused on your studies? I won't be the only ass they approve of for the day nor do they actually value me for having grown said ass.... They say the joke of youth for women is that while she has her young form at the closest to perfection it can be, she won't see it that way wishing it could be better somehow. And once that physical form has begun to fade, so too does the doubt that it wasn't good enough. The gift of maturity being the wisdom of knowing she didn't lose anything she needed in the first place. You need a role model girl. Who do you admire and why do you admire them?
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Everyone cares to some extent about looks and a person's body type. But what do you care for the opinion of people who would only care about those things? And to consider not going to uni because of some dumb college guys that, if that is all their about are not guys you would be happy dating anyway - dead give away that your priorities are not in order as you're suppose to be going to educate yourself, not score a date. Look, I walk down the street and the only guys that walk up to me in interest are sleazy come on guys. They know nothing about me so any "compliment" they have to offer won't be about my real assets and only say....my ass. Yeah! Big ego boost there! Whooo! Is this how you'd prefer your day to go while you should be focused on your studies? I won't be the only ass they approve of for the day nor do they actually value me for having grown said ass.... They say the joke of youth for women is that while she has her young form at the closest to perfection it can be, she won't see it that way wishing it could be better somehow. And once that physical form has begun to fade, so too does the doubt that it wasn't good enough. The gift of maturity being the wisdom of knowing she didn't lose anything she needed in the first place. You need a role model girl. Who do you admire and why do you admire them? I don't have any role models at all. It justs that the more guys that think you are pretty, than they are more friendly to you, and you have a more active social life. I don't see any of these girls who fall into this category complaining. Why is it a bad thing to want this?
loveslife Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 MissJoness, this is about your 10,464th thread about not being able to get a man your own age. Usually you talk about how men your age (mid-20s, as I recall) only want women in their teens. So now you're wondering about the old guys, eh. Good luck with that.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I don't mean that they are necessarily tearing women's looks apart. But I do notice that young guys don't like to even talk to girls who they don't find attractive enough to their standards. Just on a platonic level, it's like you have to meet a certain physical standard for that too.That's because most younger guys are driven by their "need to breed", since armies of little men live in their bodies, thus mob mentality rules. Most younger guys have difficulty seeing women as friends. If you're in the least bit attractive, they're weighing their chances.
Sam Spade Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I'm 32 and I'm not picky at all . Give me a good personality/attitude (and photoshopped asian skin:o) and we're in business .
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 That's because most younger guys are driven by their "need to breed", since armies of little men live in their bodies, thus mob mentality rules. Most younger guys have difficulty seeing women as friends. If you're in the least bit attractive, they're weighing their chances. So how do I deal with this? Avoid them? Because it seems incredibly hard to socialize with guys on a platonic level. They are only responsive to you if they think you are attractive enough to their standards.
sally4sara Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I don't have any role models at all. It justs that the more guys that think you are pretty, than they are more friendly to you, and you have a more active social life. I don't see any of these girls who fall into this category complaining. Why is it a bad thing to want this? And you won't see them complaining till the crutch of their physical appearance is pulled out from under them! Then they will complain non stop because they never had to develop good manners or negotiation skills. Do not envy the "pretty ones" male or female, life is much harder for them down the line. Instead develop your character, join study groups, take interest in the people you have to cooporate with both male and female for reasons other than getting validation from them. THIS is what makes people gravitate away from you. You're soooo neeeeedy for guy's approval that even the ones who're not shallow can smell it rolling off you. Guys that would gladly wish to be friends with you will think YOU only want them around to make you feel prettier. Why can't you think of a role model? Do you just not admire women? This too maybe part of the problem. You might benefit from some IC or even taking up a group interest completely out of character for you. Join a charity drive, volunteer at a shelter, anything to get you to stop focusing on yourself. You're too into yourself. Not in a arrogant way, but in the way where you're around only you too much and you're turning on yourself out of a want for drama.
ReturnToSender Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I dont know...I tend to be attracted to older men and find that they are the pickest guys ever. I find that younger guys (and to me, thats 30s and under) will put up with a lot as long as you look hot. The older guys still want a woman who looks great, but then the total package is under the microscope as well. 'Im too old for this shyt" is something Ive heard more than once (not only to myself..hah! but to and about other women) And the more successful and established a guy is...no matter how old he is...you really gotta have your p's and q's in check, cause in his mind, hes a solid catch and doenst have to put up with anything that he doesnt find appealing..he doesnt have to settle for anything...from looks to personality to manners to how you dress to yoru accent to anything.
loveslife Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Hi Miss Joness... On BoredPerson's thread you responded to some stuff I said saying that I don't understand what it's like to have grown up in a bad environment and that not everyone has a strong sense of self. We all have issues to overcome. I've had many. But I made the commitment to myself some time ago that I needed to work on my sense of self. That this was the only way I could have the things I wanted in life. My question to you is, do you want to work on developing your sense of self? If so, maybe you are asking the wrong questions.
Author MissJoness Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 And you won't see them complaining till the crutch of their physical appearance is pulled out from under them! Then they will complain non stop because they never had to develop good manners or negotiation skills. Do not envy the "pretty ones" male or female, life is much harder for them down the line. Instead develop your character, join study groups, take interest in the people you have to cooporate with both male and female for reasons other than getting validation from them. THIS is what makes people gravitate away from you. You're soooo neeeeedy for guy's approval that even the ones who're not shallow can smell it rolling off you. Guys that would gladly wish to be friends with you will think YOU only want them around to make you feel prettier. Why can't you think of a role model? Do you just not admire women? This too maybe part of the problem. You might benefit from some IC or even taking up a group interest completely out of character for you. Join a charity drive, volunteer at a shelter, anything to get you to stop focusing on yourself. You're too into yourself. Not in a arrogant way, but in the way where you're around only you too much and you're turning on yourself out of a want for drama. I'm not sure if joining a study group will change things. I'll probably still feel the same way. I avoid people sometimes. In a room, sometimes I sit in the back away from people. That way I don't have to deal with rejection. It's better that way for me. My question to you is, do you want to work on developing your sense of self? If so, maybe you are asking the wrong questions. Yeah, I do. But something always happens that prevents me from developing self worth
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