juliaa Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 My boyfriend and I had been dating for ten months, we got along so well in the beginning, honestly it felt like everything was perfect, we were so in love and we cared alot about eachother. I felt like it was real. Eventually I'm not sure what happened exactly but we started fighting alot, I would get mad at him easily about the smallest things and we wouldn't see eye to eye on alot of situations, but it was mainly because of how stubborn I was. If I realised at the time how stupid I was acting I would've stopped, but of course it continued, when he'd get upset I'd always try to make him believe I wouldn't do that anymore, but I did. Things weren't continually bad for months, there was plenty of good times in between, but when they were bad they got pretty bad. Eventually, he said to me that he wanted to take a break because he didn't want us to hurt eachother anymore or fight anymore, he said he needed time. I was lucky that I was going on vacation for about 12 days the day after so I could get away, but it still hurt, it didn't make my vacation the greatest but I tried the best I could. Sadly I bombarded him with text messages so quickly saying that things would be different if he gave me another chance and that we should try our best to work things out if we really care about eachother. We talked a few other times on the phone while I was gone and some were good and friendly and others I was just a mess, I was doing everything I could to just make him believe me, but I was doing the wrong things. We had planned to hangout as soon as I got back, so we did. I brought him breakfast and I think I rushed the topic of getting back together on him too quickly and I was way too emotional aboout it saying that things would be different and that I didnt understand why he was acting like this and that I promised I would change, I was being an idiot. Our conversation changed and we were talking about my vacation and then we were kissing and everything and I assumed that meant things were better, I guess not. All the sudden he stopped and he was like "i shouldn't be doing this" and he said he didnt know how he felt and he couldnt be in a relationship right now, that he felt like hes drifted and it didnt feel right. At that point i was bawling because I was so CONFUSED about what was going on with him. He told me that I should go and he walked me out of the house. We started school the next day and I've been seeing him at school and we do the whole smile and wave and sometimes make awkward small talk, he usually just walks away from me anyways. He keeps saying he wants to be my friend but that would hurt me way TOO much. I talked to him on the phone the other night and he was asking me how i was doing and what ive been up to and he joked to me about having other boyfriends and stuff, and i asked him if he was doing okay and he kind of just said i dont know and sounded a little sad. So i guess its been 3 weeks since we went on our break and one week since it's been official. I want us to get back together but I don't know what the hell im supposed to do, HELP. I'm so stressed out. I"ve taken alot of time to think about myself and how I could change for MYSELF if I wanted anything to workout for me, and I see alot of things in a new light, things that would make him and I get along better as well. I know he cares so much about me because he was crying all the times this happened, and we've spent so much time together and he's told me countless times that I know him better than anyone else does, its a horrible feeling to lose all this.
fofiffs Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 After reading your post I kinda saw myself in you. Yes there were times where I was stubborn and didn't realize that I was hurting my ex. But it doesn't just take one to tango you know. My advice to you is just work on yourself for now. Getting back with him is not going to change anything. You have to first look at yourself and see your faults and his faults in the relationship. Use this time to be yourself again. Don't think that you can't live without him because I know you can. I was like you feeling all depressed 6 months ago but here I am now as a better person. Just try an stick to NC for now. Because if they really did love you they would do everything to have you.
Author juliaa Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 After reading your post I kinda saw myself in you. Yes there were times where I was stubborn and didn't realize that I was hurting my ex. But it doesn't just take one to tango you know. My advice to you is just work on yourself for now. Getting back with him is not going to change anything. You have to first look at yourself and see your faults and his faults in the relationship. Use this time to be yourself again. Don't think that you can't live without him because I know you can. I was like you feeling all depressed 6 months ago but here I am now as a better person. Just try an stick to NC for now. Because if they really did love you they would do everything to have you. I will try my best, but it's hard when I see him everyday you know? I can't really understand how he's feeling but I don't want to go too far into being just another buddy to him. I kind of want to let him know that too. I'm really focusing on how I can be a better person and I'm trying my best to distract myself, I just hope this works, I don't plan on waiting forever though either. I care alot about him, but I also care about myself and I don't want to hurt myself waiting. Im gonna remain NC but I also want a straight answer.
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