CompletelyNumb Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 My boyfriend broke up with me last night. We've had our fair share of issues in the past, nothing major but petty arguments. He was in a relationship for 7 years prior to our getting together with a woman that hit him a few times, called the police on him, followed him to both of his jobs almost daily, called him 10-30 times a day often, went thru his wallet, his cell phone and constantly made his life a living hell. Because of all of those things he has been extremely sensitive to me doing anything that he sees as similar. If I call him a few times in one day he tells me I'm like her. If there's an argument he pretty much cracks, can't handle the stress of it and breaks up with me. He's not been easy to deal with because of his past but I've tried to stick it out as he is a good man, just has some baggage, or so I thought. There has been a slight language barrier between us as well. Although he speaks/understands most of what I say he doesn't understand everything and last night it is what sent him into a tailspin. I noticed he kept yawning and was having back problems so I said "why don't you go home and go to sleep"..he lost it, says to me that he doesn't want to be told what to do, that I'm not his mother and it got worse from there when I lashed out. I tried to explain to him that it was concern, not a demand and that I loved him and worried about his health and lack of sleep and all that. No matter..he told me he was tired of me, tired of fighting, didn't want anyone and that he wasnt going to be told what to do. He then proceeded to tell me that he didnt care if I cried or begged that he was done with me. That he wanted to go to bars and see other women and he didn't care if I liked it or not. He asked me if I wanted to be with him forever when I said I didn't want to break up..I said maybe and he said to me that he didn't want me forever. He was cruel to me which blew me away. We'd been having a great evening together..cuddling and holding hands, laughing and I make one comment and he loses it. Anyway long story short I'm going no contact..I don't see any point in trying to talk to him. He made it very clear he was done with me, said we could be friends but that's it. I declined, it's too painful. Someone said that no contact might be a great way to get him to come to his senses but I don't believe that. I guess I'm here because I don't know how to cope with his cruelty. He made me feel like trash, telling me he's going to be with other women..telling me to go find someone else. It's as if he never loved me. It's only been one day but I find myself laying in bed or sitting on the sofa and suddenly it all hits me, everything he said and then the thoughts of him being with another and I break down. I'm 35..I've been thru this before with others and it kills me everytime. The worst part of all of this which I didn't mention before was that in the process of our fight, I got out of his car to walk back to his apt and ended up getting robbed and beaten. When I found him an hour after the incident all he had to say was "do I look like the f***ing cops, why did you call me" and then he told me to get out of his house. I just don't understand any of this. For someone to switch gears so quickly and treat you like nothing. What do I do to get past this? I'm just so miserable and lonely I don't know what to do.
sexiiladii68 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I was feeling the same way as you. Granted, your situation is wayyyyy worse though. I am so sorry you had to get robbed and beaten **HUGS** And how terrible for your ex to be so cold and callous to you afterwards. I'm going to pass on some good advice others on this site told me: Look at how he treated you. Like you were nothing. He didn't even CARE that you were just attacked. Do you really want someone like that in your life? You are worth more than that. Don't even wonder HOW or WHY he could act like that to you. Just put him out of your mind, easier said than done I know, but just keep telling yourself that you deserve more and you will heal in time. Try to stay busy with friends and family. Find something you enjoy doing and make it a habit to spend time on that. You will find that helps to take your mind off things.
Author CompletelyNumb Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 I'm working on moving on. I quit my job actually..he and I worked closely together. I couldn't see myself going in there and being side by side with him on a daily basis. Would be far too painful. I've gotten rid of or put away anything that he gave me or reminds me of him. I'm making an effort to stay far away from his area of town. I'm doing everything I can to put him behind me. I'm just sad right now, I hurt. Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it.
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