smartGXL Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 The reason I am posting this, is to try and provide some balance, to the nightmare that breaking up and letting go actually is. Those of us, who get dumped, we all dream, at first, about getting back together, reconciling, working things out, we try every technique in the book, we call, we text, we try writing letters - I call this the Dumpee's Dream...that one day, we will get that magical text message, or that magical phone call, or that magical knock on our front door, and there they are - our ex, who dumped us - asking for a second chance; but for the most part, we end up just facing reality and moving on with our lives, and meeting someone new. However, I know people who actually have had that happen to them...where the dumper actually one day, decides to pick up the phone and ask for another chance. **Please note - I almost did not post this thread, because I do not want to give some people the wrong idea, or give them false hope...because most of the time, the dumper does NOT come back. I decided to post this, to help show that anything is possible however, and sometimes, they do come back.** One example I can think of - I once dumped a girlfriend (this was back in 1997)...she spent several years pining after me, before she finally met a new guy (Mike). Her and this guy dated for about a year, and then he broke up with her...they were broken up for about 9 months, and during that time, she pined after him non-stop, even tho there was a period of time where she dated another guy...well anyway, after about 9 months or so, I called her to see how she was doing, and she said that her and Mike were back together again!! I was surprised, I asked, "How did that happen?" She replied, "Well, it happened, and we are back together!!" She never did elaborate on what actually happened that brought them back together; however, they got married in 2004 and they now have two children (twins). I would say, she is living the "Dumpee's Dream". Anyone else here have any stories of people who were dumped, whose exe's came back to them?
JaggedRoad Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 My ex ran back to me after our second break-up, but I don't think that's going to happen again.
WiseOne1 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I've had 3 different ex's come back, but I was well over living the dumpers dream when they came back. The main example came back, after she seen her ex bf didn't care about her, I personally think that he ran off with another girl, but she claims she picked me over him. So me and her got back together, and I could never really forgive her self for even letting a piece of trash like her ex even interrupt out relationship, especially how bad he treated her. So we broke up once again, and she now has a new BF and thinks were going to be friends, and cried for 3 hours str8 when I told her I don't want to talk to her again. She still calls me, and I never pick up the phone, and I mean it, its kinda sad because we were best friends 6 years before we started dating, but she brought it on herself so she can now go have her "thug" type men that she loves so much.
JaggedRoad Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Sigh... your story really gets to me, WiseOne1. I'm sorry that it happened that way, but you definitely deserve better.
georgia girl Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 My dumper came back, but it wasn't easy for either of us. In a way, I still think we both got cheated out of the summer because of our break up. Living the Dumpee's Dream, as you say, isn't exactly dreamlike. It really takes strength and a sense of purpose. Very early on, I didn't do well. I would have done anything to have him back. However, no contact was key for me. When I got away from him and the emotional rollercoaster that involves contact with your ex, I forced myself to focus on me. What did I want? What did I need in a relationship to be happy - not just now but long term? Then, I ignored my ex for a long time. He just didn't do enouh to earn a response from me. Texts, stopping by my house, etc., didn't work if he wasn't willing to compromise and work on our relationship. That is very, very hard to do. I just kept telling myself, "It's not enough." Finally, we got back together slowly. We both work every day on this thing but to me, it's better than before. We have learned compromise and communication... the two things desperately lacking before.
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