Lucky555 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 After finally saying well I'm giving up on hopes of this guy and I dating. He tells me that he has some major issues (his family) going on. He explained them to me and everything. I think its his way of saying this is why hes not ready to jump into anything now. Yes, he has big issues going on his life, but would issues in your life really prevent you from seeing someone you want to date? Everyone has problems big or small, i wouldn't let it interfere with losing a potential person if i really liked them (my point of view) What do u all think?
lammie Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I was seeing this guy, thought things were good. But he broke up with me, because i wasn't in a good state of mind: I was unemployed, newly relocated and have problems at where i was living. He said it wasn't a good time to start on a relationship. i was upset at the time of course, but in hind sight now, I can't agree with him more and i tell you why. Because when you're in a relationship, you want to share your happiness with someone and not sucking out the happiness from the other person (as Eckhart Tolle put it). When you haven't any major issues in your life (finance, employment, family etc), it's one less thing you have to worry about. And the other person wouldn't have to listen to you whine or complain any of those. It all starts within yourself, you gotta sort out your own life first before you are ready to share it with someone. Does that make sense?
ReturnToSender Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Depends on what those problems are... LIke you said, we all have them big or small..but the bigs ones may well be too much for a new relationship to handle. Heck, big problems can cause enough strain on an established relationship. If hes not in the right frame of mind to handle the problem he is having along with starting a new relationship, then its actually in both you a favor by admitting hes not ready. If its meant to be, then it will still be able to happen for the two of you when his life isnt in disarray.
Author Lucky555 Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Thanks for the input, i really appreciate it. I have been through tough issues in my life, but I really wouldn't let it take over my ability to find happiness with someone whom i liked a lot! I kind of feel like it was not fair that he did not tell me this stuff sooner and even pursued me. IF he had issues why did he pursue, to keep me around for the time being. thats not fair. I know these issues are going to take a while though. As much as i would have liked something to happen its not going to happen and I'm not waiting for "when hes ready' because its dating. I think the best thing now is for me to move on and date other people. I was glad to know it wasn't that he wasn't interested and it was other stuff though. But, I think maintaining as much contact as we have had would interfere with my ability to move on. I think he will be offended by me "disappearing" but I know i do want someone whom i can start a relationship with and wants similar things in life too. This sucks. I'm just soo disappointed because we had a talk and he acted like we were going to get together and then he just dropped this on me!!!
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