JL911 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I know i have been doing good and have been maintaining no contact and trying to cope and get over this horrible event...I know I have been strong...I know i have been avoiding all the terrible things I could be doing, but the past 2 days I just feel so worthless and lonely. My self worth is down to nothing...Im depressed...Im trying to stay busy, but at the same time every second I am not is spent losing my mind it seems. Im 25, a good looking guy, caring, loyal, and honest and for some reason I just feel like no one will every see me for what I am and worry that I may never be as happy as I was...And if I do find myself in a similar relationship how long till the next ones feelings change and leaves me heartbroken again... This whole heartace thing stinks. I never wanted this, didnt ask for this, and just want it all to be over....As wonderful as my relationship was for so long, I dont know if it was worth all of this in the end. I almost regret meeting her and falling so in love...Prior to her I was a wild bull with the world by the ass. Playing in a kick-ass college band, drinking, having fun, and partying till all hours of the night without a care in the world. I know I am not perfect and make my share of mistakes...I just thought I finally had the right one who understood me and loved me for me...Its all over now...Its just me again...
mickleb Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Aah. Bless your heart. I've had a few rough days. I have gone through the very same feelings. I'm not 'up' at all, yet. My focus is on having a big lie-in on Saturday as I am just EXHAUSTED this week at work and I want to bury my head in the sand! How long has it been since the break-up? It's been over 6 weeks weeks for me. (Quite glad Ididn't know that for sure and had to look it up!) I have had some really strong steps forward but it's like you said - I just want this to be DONE! It does my head in! I was fairly (healthily?!) realistic about relationships before I accepted this one and now, one commitment phobe later, I'm like, WHAT?!!! I don't know why we bother but I guess most of us just have a scrap of faith, or hope, or something left. Don't know. Sorry - this can't be cheering you up! I just wanted to say, I get you, you're not alone but you will be okay. I still know I will be (just!), so I know you will be. Keep doing whatever you need to do that makes you feel even a teency bit better because you deserve to feel better. x
adamt Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 How long have you been broken up. I'm about 3.5 months down the line. Not spoke to the ex since. First month my head was all over the place. I had hundreds of questions and thought i could fix things. I would break down at work. Could not talk abotu her without breaking down. All the future plans went out the window. I was lost on where i was going in life. I joined a gym and go there 4 times a week and now hooked on the gym for about 2.5 months now. took up a few hobbies and spent time catching up with old friends. As i got in better shape. my confidence started to come back. It does get better, the pain is going away slowly most of the time. although i have not bumped into her yet. I still miss her a lot. especially on sundays. But i am getting to the point where i want to meet a few women and see how i get on. Just keep yourself busy and it will improve Just hang in there and make steps forward no matter how small. You feel you will never recover but you will. It may be a while before you fully recover but you will recover to the point where you can cope and start to move on. Believe me I have been there just as many people have. What you are goign through we have all been through. It like being a top football players and suffering a serious injury, you feel you never recover and be worried about the same tackle happening again but eventually you are back out there back to your old self and doing those tackles again. Whats left is a few scares which remind you of what happened. It just takes time
soheartbroken Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Im 25, a good looking guy, caring, loyal, and honest and for some reason I just feel like no one will every see me for what I am and worry that I may never be as happy as I was...And if I do find myself in a similar relationship how long till the next ones feelings change and leaves me heartbroken again... I know I am not perfect and make my share of mistakes...I just thought I finally had the right one who understood me and loved me for me...Its all over now...Its just me again... Wow. I could have written that. Just replace "25" with "26", and "guy" with "woman". It's so depressing thinking these things! I'm with ya! Sorry, I know I can't be encouraging cause I'm in the same spot. Just wanted to tell you you're not alone.
Author JL911 Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Its going on 2 months...5 weeks NC I think...Im loosing count...Ive joined a gym again as well but havent really taken full advantage of it just yet.... I just hope some day I can be fully happy again...
adamt Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Hammer the gym, take out the pain on the treadmill,cross trainer and the weights. Thats what i do. Push myself and leave the gym knackered!
NopeNah Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 It does get better, my man! I was about 2.5 mo in when I started to date around again. I some what had my guard up but, they're some great girls out there. Before you know it your ex will be nothing more than a happy memory!
sunshinegirl Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Oh, it gets better. I promise. Two months post breakup I was in a serious funk. It took me quite awhile to get my mojo back, but I have. I really have, so much so that running into my ex last night for the first time didn't throw me off. Just hold on and take things a day at a time. And don't beat yourself up for feeling bad. It's the nature of the beast.
leap83 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 JL911: Wishing you to not feel ****ty anymore. I really hope you feel better. Some days are like that for me too. They suck. I'm single as well - freshly out of the relationship. Makes you think something is wrong with you, but it's not. You will find someone. Your life will be fabulous. You'll have children. You'll have a beautiful home. Because you're a nice guy. Women (including me) should learn to keep nice guys. Now here's a nerdy joke: "What did the fish do when it walked into the wall?" It said "Damn." Yeah. I know. My jokes are horrible. Haha. *blushes*
Author JL911 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Someday....... I just pray that this all works out for the best....
Meaplus3 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Your post really touched me. I am very sorry for the pain your feeling, but it does get better. It may not feel that way now.. But one day soon it will. Your young and have so much ahead of you. Keep up with the no contact. You can do it! Mea:)
phoenix1 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 @JL911 - you are so not alone. I am having a very hard day, and wonder sometimes if I will ever be my self again. I know what you mean about staying busy - it seems like the second I am not completely distracting myself with something, I start to feel bad. The gym is a good suggestion - I have to dragggg my self there most days, but it helps with sleeping, and hey, when I do feel better - I'm lookin' good! Hang in there.
Author JL911 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Ive joined a couple dating sites...Been on a few dates with some really fun girls...It just isnt the same. Every day i get a few new winks on Match and am on another free site where you can email, and I get the "Your profile was this and that and I think you are gorgious"...Its just ugh... There are literally 30 women after me on dating sites who IM me constantly and want to hang out, and 3 other friends who I have made over the years have expressed interest as well...and I just cannot understand why the one who I fell so head over heals for wants nothing to do with me... Pray for me...
Meaplus3 Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Ive joined a couple dating sites...Been on a few dates with some really fun girls...It just isnt the same. Every day i get a few new winks on Match and am on another free site where you can email, and I get the "Your profile was this and that and I think you are gorgious"...Its just ugh... There are literally 30 women after me on dating sites who IM me constantly and want to hang out, and 3 other friends who I have made over the years have expressed interest as well...and I just cannot understand why the one who I fell so head over heals for wants nothing to do with me... Pray for me... Well, it sounds like your getting yourself back out there and that's a great sign good for you. As for the the the one who wants nothing to do with you, forget about her. If those are her feelings is she really worth your time? IMO the answer is NO! There are plenty of fish in the sea. The right one will come along, it just may take some time. Keep your chin up.. and keep moving along. Best wishes. Mea:)
Exit Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 A few responses have already touched on the "gym" thing, and I have to support that. If your main issue is low confidence and questioning your self-worth, there is nothing like an exercise routine to get you feeling better. It's so easy to make it a symbolic experience, have that weight across your chest on the bench and know that it's not going to hold you down, and push it away. If this isn't something you do already, give it a try. And, while it's a bit spiteful to think this way, it's always fun to imagine running into a mutual friend, or the ex themselves, a few months down the road, and have yourself in amazing shape. Don't rush into finding someone new. I browse around on match.com and other sites as well but I just know I can't have feelings for someone right now.
Excellent Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Gotta go with the gym-flow here. The gym is the one thing who really managed to prevent me from losing my mind. When she broke up with me in dec 08 i upped the gym-routine to 5 days a week. I have since lowered it to 3-4 days a week, but the results have shown. When she left me, i was between 100-95 kilos. Now i am at 85kg. I have burned a tad more musclemass than i would like tho, but i feel great physically nevertheless. And on the days when people compliment you on your new looks, man is that confidence booming then
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