Green Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 When your in a committed relationship how much sex do you personaly need to be happy. I'm a man and personaly I'd be happy with sex 5 times a week... but could probably handles as little as 4 times a week. When it starts getting that dangerouse zone of 3 or less a week its gets scary and upseting from my point of view. So what are your views on how much sex you'd like each week in a good relationship?
New Again Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 So you normally see your partner everyday, or almost every day of the week?
Roxanna Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 It varies. My bf and I haven't hooked up in just under 2 weeks though and I am not happy.
Trialbyfire Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Is this a per orgasm count or a per day count?
carhill Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 So you normally see your partner everyday, or almost every day of the week? To me, this is a key factor. Contact breeds intimacy breeds sex in a healthy relationship. I can go drink beer with the guys, hug them and talk about cars. There's no reason to have a woman in my life other than emotional intimacy (which I've rarely achieved with a man) and sex. In a healthy relationship with daily contact, I would 'feel' like having sexual contact, not to be confused with intercourse, every day.
sibylline Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I'm a 24 year old woman and I live with my partner. If we're not having sex everyday, it's a strange thing. However, because of travelling and other issues, I am ok with having sex five times a week; including two sessions in one day if there wasn't enough time on other days. If it slips below five, it's risky. But if it ever becomes less than three, then we have a talk. Hasn't been a problem so far though!
Kamille Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 My "needs" have varied greatly from partner to partner. I used to feel 2-3 times a week was enough, then was in a relationship where we had sexual contact every time we saw each other, without it necessarily leading to intercourse or orgasms. (Althgouh it usually did). In that R, which was probably my favorite in terms of intimacy, sex wasn't about gettings our rocks off, but about feeling close to each other.
always_searching Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I'm a 24 year old woman, and--when I'm married--I hope to have sex daily...multiple times a day is preferable. LOL, for me, the problem isn't how often to have sex, but how to stop having it in order to go about living productively in society.
bac Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 it is a very personal thing which depends on several factors. The only way to know that is to ask your partner because it is her preference.
always_searching Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 LOL, so, I got so caught up in my ideal sex life, that I didn't actually answer your question. So, to answer your question as to how much sex is not enough--here, I am making the assumption that my hypothetical husband is home daily and feeling well: anything less than five times a week would be a problem for me. I mean, I understand there are times you're tired, ill, out of town, etc. As the situation can vary, so would my answer, since it clearly depends upon the situation; but my ideal is still multiple times daily and most definitely no less than five times a week.
carhill Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I started emotionally detaching after the natural sexual dynamic dropped past bi-weekly
Thornton Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 It depends greatly on the people and the context. If I'm feeling particularly horny I might want sex every day... if one or both of us is busy or working overtime or ill then we might not have sex for a whole week... if you have children or if one partner has a disability or medical problem then of course there will be less sex. So I don't think there is an ideal amount of sex, I think it depends on circumstances. I do think that if a couple live together there should be some sort of emotional intimacy every day, but it doesn't have to be sex... any amount of sex is fine as long as sex happens sometimes and neither partner has a problem with it or is generally unwilling. For those that stipulate a specific minimum amount of sex: What would you do if a woman you loved and were in a relationship with developed a medical problem that made sex painful? (for example, repeated bladder infections after sex, or vulvodynia, which is vaginal pain) If she couldn't keep up with your minimum amount of sex for some reason, perhaps through no fault of her own, would you dump her? How strict is that "five times per week" requirement?
always_searching Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 How strict is that "five times per week" requirement? Well, if you read my entire post, I said it depended upon the situation, and as the situation altered so would my answer. Clearly, if my hypothetical husband were to be ill, or develope a disorder that he could no longer get an erection, or something of any disabilitating nature: I would not demand sex 5 times a week. There's a lot more to a relationship than sex. Sex is just a majorly fun and--in a vast array of senses--unitive aspect of any relationship. I said that assuming all was well with both of us and we were both home daily, etc.: no less than 5 times a week. What is ideal doesn't always correspond with reality. Though I'm fine with reality, I still like to aim high...
looking4 green grass Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 At this point I'd take anything. BF is overseas for now.............
BCCA Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 no less than 5 times a week The optimist in me wants to believe women are this interested in sex, but as a guy who has been through a few pretty long relationships, this rule generally applies for about the first six months to a year, and then starts to fade to the point where 5 times a month is more accurate. I'm a 24 year old woman, and--when I'm married--I hope to have sex daily...multiple times a day is preferable I think most guys would agree, but most married guys would tell you that they would be happy with 1/8 of that. Seriously, I cant imagine guys are ever the ones slowing down the sex train, yet very few married couples are having sex anywhere near that often. Once a week is fine with me. I think this is a pretty accurate amount for most women. With my ex, we started having sex every day, sometimes several times, and by the end, had sex maybe 4-5 times a month. I can promise that it want because of a lack of desire or trying on my end.
Enema Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I think this is a pretty accurate amount for most women. With my ex, we started having sex every day, sometimes several times, and by the end, had sex maybe 4-5 times a month. I can promise that it want because of a lack of desire or trying on my end. I'm a guy.
BCCA Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I'm a guy. I didnt mean to imply you were a woman, just using your number to make a point. What you said is on par with what Ive found most women can handle. Sorry for any confusion.
Trialbyfire Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I didnt mean to imply you were a woman, just using your number to make a point. What you said is on par with what Ive found most women can handle. Sorry for any confusion.I can state most emphatically, that during my previous marriage, we had a very, very active sex life, until D-day rolled around. We were married for five years with no slow down in any way. If anything, after marriage since we obviously moved in together at that point, the pace picked up. I don't view myself as being that unusual for a woman but I do view myself as someone with a high drive.
BCCA Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I can state most emphatically, that during my previous marriage, we had a very, very active sex life, until D-day rolled around. We were married for five years with no slow down in any way. If anything, after marriage since we obviously moved in together at that point, the pace picked up. I don't view myself as being that unusual for a woman but I do view myself as someone with a high drive. I can only go on my experience, as well as the feeback I get from other guys. I lived with my ex 3 years, the first year it was great, after that...it slowed considerably, even though we were quite happy for a while. You might have a high drive, my ex and the girls dating/married to my buddies might not. Who knows. All I can say is that as a guy, I expect sex to drop after marrige.
Trialbyfire Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I can only go on my experience, as well as the feeback I get from other guys. I lived with my ex 3 years, the first year it was great, after that...it slowed considerably, even though we were quite happy for a while. You might have a high drive, my ex and the girls dating/married to my buddies might not. Who knows. All I can say is that as a guy, I expect sex to drop after marrige.That's why people should try to find someone who's got a compatible sex drive. I honestly can't imagine ever having to ask or beg for it.
BCCA Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 That's why people should try to find someone who's got a compatible sex drive. I honestly can't imagine ever having to ask or beg for it. You, IMO, (and this is 100% meant as a compliment) are not like most women in many ways. You know what you want, what you will tolerate, and have no problems walking on someone who isnt it. I admire your strength a lot. A lot of women use sex as a manipulator. Give me what I want, and you might get lucky, or if I did something to upset you - here is some action to keep you quiet. Thats their 'ace' up their sleeve. Once they 'have you', as in, married or living together, they dont need to give as much. Just my humble opinion.
ReturnToSender Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 My bf has a way lower sex drive than me...and its something that has always been a problem for us. when I was married, my husband and I had sex 2-3x a day...only times we didnt is when he was away on business or when we were in hospital...to give you an idea of what my ideal is... My bf and I live close by each other, but only get to see each other 1 or 2x a week.and we dont have sex everytime we see each other. Sometimes it would be once a week...or once every other week. By the time 2 full weeks had gone by, Id practically be bouncing off the walls with frustration...and then Id feel awful cause it would feel like mercy sex. for the most part, he wouldnt be able to perform. This has..by far..been the most sexually frustrated I have been since I was a teen. really hard on me...At this point, I would settle for a guaranteed once a week. But with everything going on in our relationship now, its been about a month now. And for the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to not even desire sex... (cause yeah, even when I was married, in the hospital, I was telling my husband to pull the curtain and do something naughty...lol!)
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 You, IMO, (and this is 100% meant as a compliment) are not like most women in many ways. You know what you want, what you will tolerate, and have no problems walking on someone who isnt it. I admire your strength a lot. A lot of women use sex as a manipulator. Give me what I want, and you might get lucky, or if I did something to upset you - here is some action to keep you quiet. Thats their 'ace' up their sleeve. Once they 'have you', as in, married or living together, they dont need to give as much. Just my humble opinion.I'm truly flattered, BCCA. The only problem is that it's arguable that I use sex to manipulate since it takes me awhile before I sleep with anyone new, even to the point of never sleeping with men I've dated or been in relationships with. My reasoning is that if it's not the right guy who's giving me what I NEED in a relationship, I won't sexually bond with them...period, and yes, I'm the bonding type v. the compartmentalizing type, who sees sex as sport. It's reliant on perception, what the means.
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