Dex Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Do people do this? Is it a maturity thing? Is it an inability to communicate in other ways thing? - Say "I love you" when you think your SO is mad/upset with you, or when you tell your SO something you think she or he might not like - Use "I love you" as a reason why the SO shouldn't be mad about something the bf/gf did I had a bf in high school who did this. My current bf also does this, and he is twice as old as a 16 year old boy, but he also doesn't have a ton of relationship experience (lots of hook ups and FWBs and so on, but not many real relationships).
dreamergrl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Saying I love you should be something from the heart. Not something to lighten an argument. I once had a bf who was quite abusive. He told me he never loved anyone enough to care to fight.
Author Dex Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Well my bf does say it a lot in general, and I think he means it. Like, it seems like the giddy honeymoon phase where you're soooo in love and want to say it all the time, because you feel it so strongly. But sometimes I feel like he uses it the other way too - like I'll be less mad or something because he loves me. I could be misinterpreting this, but it definitely reminds me of that high school boyfriend. And that's pretty terrible dreamer :-(
dreamergrl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Well my bf would say it all the time too. But he'd use it to manipulate the situation. You just have to define whether or not he's doing it. You can love someone, but still not treat them right, I believe.
hoping2heal Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Make it clear to your boyfriend that he needs to acknowledge and validate you when the two of you have an argument. Using "ILY" to end an argument is just a way to take the focus off the argument.
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