jb1173 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Chemistry.com matched me with my ex-boyfriend who dumped me five weeks ago. WTF! I just reactivated my profile, in an effort to get over him, and ta-da, there he is right at the top of my list of five matches. Match.com did this to me earlier this week too. I don't get it. Out of all the single men in this gigantic metropolis, the "system" had to match me to him, not once, but twice. We didn't even meet online. And, since I'm not over him, this really hurts like hell. It's like some unknown force is rubbing salt in my wounds.
Angel1111 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 That is one of the craziest things I've heard in a while. That must've really knocked you on your behind. I wonder if he saw that match. If you think about it, it's kinda funny because even though it's in your face, it's in his, too.
Author jb1173 Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 That must've really knocked you on your behind. Yes, I'm still on the floor! I wonder if he saw that match. I don't know if Chemistry works like that, but I know I saw him on the "who's viewed me" list on Match. So, yeah. Thing is, it bothers me, but I doubt it bugs him one bit since he did the dumping.
Angel1111 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Yes, I'm still on the floor! I don't know if Chemistry works like that, but I know I saw him on the "who's viewed me" list on Match. So, yeah. Thing is, it bothers me, but I doubt it bugs him one bit since he did the dumping. I wasn't making fun of you when I said it must've knocked you on your behind. It would've had the same effect on me. Well, I honestly doubt that it doesn't disturb him in a big way. Just because someone ends a relationship doesn't mean they don't live with the pain of loss, too. He probably felt that it wasn't working for whatever reason and felt it needed to end, but that doesn't mean he wasn't hurt by that or that his dreams, too, weren't shattered. I don't really know your story so it's hard for me to say for sure but I have ended several relationships and I also had to deal with the blame of ending it. I had my reasons and those reasons involved it being the best for all concerned - not just me. The relationships simply didn't work and there was no fixing them. You can't get around that kind of thing.
leap83 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 LOOL... eharmony did the EXACT same thing with this guy who has been giving me a headache for the past month... LOOL... I fell off my chair when I saw it and had to double check if it was indeed him again - he hasn't been active on it for awhile though so yeah... It bugged me a little bit, but it was more funny than annoying... And he DID notice... because next convo we had (a day after that), HE was the one to bring it up and ask me if I'm pissed off at him because eharmony matched us again... LOOOOOOL... I was pissed off about something totally different though haha...
Author jb1173 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 This whole thing still weirds me out, and it has really set back my healing the last couple of days. Obviously, I am not ready for the dating scene yet. Stupid heart.
fofiffs Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Wow thats crazy. Out of millions of single people out there had to be an ex. I'm sorry to hear that. Stay strong my friend.
shunter Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 These websites are NOT scientific. They do not have as many local members as you think. I am not sure what city you are in, but even large cities there might be 500 members and in the past two months, maybe 2 have joined. For huge metros, maybe the number is 10x, 5000 members and a new member every few days. If a male and female of the right age join the website and are looking for local singles, there is a very high probability you will match. The software is not going to give you a high probability of matching to a member that joined two years ago. they want you to meet and hit it off. so thats the algorithm for success. you are of the right age, close by, and just joined (seriously looking). you are gonna match.
Author jb1173 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Shunter, it is a huge metro. I am a math/stats wiz, so I logically get what you're saying. It's still creepy/painful that out of the thousands of men in my local radius on those sites his was the first face at the top of my match list for both.
Author jb1173 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 I wonder if he saw that match. If you think about it, it's kinda funny because even though it's in your face, it's in his, too. I really didn't think he would see anything, because I haven't logged into Chemistry since his profile popped up at the top of my list. I just freaked out and didn't want to log back in and click on the interest meter to delete it. So today, out of the blue, I get an email forward from him. It was a "she has noticed your profile" email from Chemistry with a note from him saying "Fyi I get one of these emails everytime you click on my Chemistry profile." WTF! Why would he email me this? Why not just delete the emails, or why wouldn't he just close out the match himself? I guess the website just sends out automatic reminders to the matches they give you unless you clear them out, which I failed to do since I logged in a week ago. So I replied to him that I deleted my Chemistry account because I don't use it anyway. And that I deleted Match.com also because their system was rubbing salt in my wounds their "match" lists that keep putting his profile as a match for me. He replied that I didn't need to delete anything. I replied that yes I did, because I'm not ready for this anyway. Crap. This day just set me back to August 4th. I want to heal and not see constant reminders of him, his online dating trolling and his absence from my life.
shunter Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 LOL, thats funny.. you probably clicked his profile a lot of times and he has a pile of emails. hehe anyways the right course of action was to delete his match/profile and keep looking
trueblue72ny Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Ugggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!! i am sorry that happened!!!! stupid computer.
Author jb1173 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 LOL, thats funny.. you probably clicked his profile a lot of times and he has a pile of emails. hehe anyways the right course of action was to delete his match/profile and keep looking No, just the first time I opened the list of five matches after they approved my profile. His was the first profile that opened. I never went back because I was too freaked out. It was free, so it's not like I was losing anything anyway. I guess they send out reminder emails until either person closes the match. I just don't understand why he didn't close it and why he chose to "FYI" me instead. It's like he wanted to remind me that he is trolling on those sites. I deleted my accounts. I am not ready to date other men. I feel really crappy today.
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